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Author Topic: "Really?" moments you had.  (Read 2011 times)

Spy227X

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"Really?" moments you had.
« on: January 10, 2014, 03:50:01 pm »

Just post the moments in DF that made you go like: "Really?" ???

I'll kick us off.
Goden Attisedur, broker is throwing a tantrum!
Goden Attisedur, broker has calmed down.
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Is this freshwater or saltwater? Because alternatively you could breed a large amount of crocodiles and unleash them into the waters... indirect genocide.

Zan Oltaridor

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Re: "Really?" moments you had.
« Reply #1 on: January 10, 2014, 05:36:51 pm »

Heh...

Idol Cattenkogan, dwarven child is throwing a tantrum
Entire fucking pasture was struck down
Idol Cattenkogan, dwarven child has calmed down

"So...Mum? What are we gonna have for dinner?"
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This thread is why I love dwarf fortress. We start at engravings of wagons and end up using necromancy to raise them from the dead, and were-wagons.
I jumped off a ramp in a cave and exploded.

Spy227X

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Re: "Really?" moments you had.
« Reply #2 on: January 10, 2014, 05:54:17 pm »

Try not to make it super similar, but the entire farm falling down was different.
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Is this freshwater or saltwater? Because alternatively you could breed a large amount of crocodiles and unleash them into the waters... indirect genocide.

wierd

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Re: "Really?" moments you had.
« Reply #3 on: January 10, 2014, 06:10:49 pm »

Overseer: Urist, please finish the inpenetrable barrier wall between us and the nameless horrors of the deep below.

Urist: All done boss!

Overseer: Urist. You are on the wrong side of the wall.

Urist: Wow! I am! How did that happen?

Overseer: I don't know urist. ... please deconstruct the wall, come back inside, and then reconstruct the wall.

...

Urist: all done boss!

Overseer: Urist. ... you know what, just stay outside the wall. We don't care anymore.

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AWellTrainedFerret

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Re: "Really?" moments you had.
« Reply #4 on: January 10, 2014, 06:20:14 pm »

The most recent "REALLY?" moment I had:

My fort is suspended over a terrifying ocean biome. The beach area is 100% sealed off, so the undead fish can't actually hurt me (but dear lord do they cancel every single job within 40 tiles of them). Finally, after having the beach sealed off for the past 6 years, I decide it's time to set up a secure fishing area to tap into that ocean. I check to make sure that there is nothing too scary swimming around down there with the units tab, then I dig open a small area and start building a sealed off wharf with floor grates to fish from.

Obviously, I should have paid attention to the units tab during construction, however, because in the extremely brief time since I last checked it (like, literally less than a week in game), apparently a Sea Monster Husk spawned in and bee-lined to the construction area. Fort dead.

Just for those who don't know; during world gen only 1 Sea Monster is capable of living in each ocean biome, and this one just happened to show right then, after 6 years, when the fort wasn't secure. And since it was undead, it could path out of the ocean into the fort itself.
« Last Edit: January 10, 2014, 06:38:20 pm by AWellTrainedFerret »
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The Axe Knight attacks before you are ready!
The Axe Knight chants the spell of SLEEP!
Thou art asleep.
Pepare'th thine anus.
Axe Knight hath no lube.

VerdantSF

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Re: "Really?" moments you had.
« Reply #5 on: January 10, 2014, 06:22:22 pm »

"Okay, everyone!  Let's remove the scaffolding from around our grand construction project!"

"One level at a time!"

"Oh... is someone removing the scaffold below me... aaaaaaaaaaaargh!"

ShadowHammer

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Re: "Really?" moments you had.
« Reply #6 on: January 10, 2014, 08:43:02 pm »

"Mr. vampire complete legendary wargod who once slaughtered 150 zombies by yourself, could you go deal with that tiny goblin bowman ambush?"
Vampire complete legendary wargod has been shot and killed.
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fractalman

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Re: "Really?" moments you had.
« Reply #8 on: January 11, 2014, 02:15:36 am »

I was dwarfed into a game.
Played a turn as overseer.  realized that my dwarf would be, quite possibly, the worst possible mayor.
kept playing because I liked the place.
And then...this happened.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
What was the ban on?
Bins.  **** bins. 
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This is a masterwork ledger.  It contains 3719356 pages on the topic of the precise number and location of stones in Spindlybrooks.  In the text, the dwarves are hauling.
"And here is where we get the undead unicorns. Stop looking at me that way, you should have seen the zombie deer running around last week!"

Dyret

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Re: "Really?" moments you had.
« Reply #9 on: January 11, 2014, 03:03:22 am »

A naked weaponless minotaur showing up and wrestling the shit out of my entire military, including two legendary-in-most-things sworddorfs. Those innate skills are brutal.
« Last Edit: January 11, 2014, 03:05:01 am by Dyret »
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Spy227X

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Re: "Really?" moments you had.
« Reply #10 on: January 11, 2014, 09:13:29 am »

Overseer: Urist, please finish the inpenetrable barrier wall between us and the nameless horrors of the deep below.

Urist: All done boss!

Overseer: Urist. You are on the wrong side of the wall.

Urist: Wow! I am! How did that happen?

Overseer: I don't know urist. ... please deconstruct the wall, come back inside, and then reconstruct the wall.

...

Urist: all done boss!

Overseer: Urist. ... you know what, just stay outside the wall. We don't care anymore.
This is why I use doors.
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Is this freshwater or saltwater? Because alternatively you could breed a large amount of crocodiles and unleash them into the waters... indirect genocide.

GhostDwemer

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Re: "Really?" moments you had.
« Reply #11 on: January 11, 2014, 02:27:17 pm »

Watching a dwarf being chased by goblins run screaming past the entrance to your fort. Then watching him turn around and run past it again. And again. And again.

Bonus points if you pause and queue up Yakkity Sax to play during the hijinks.
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xeluc

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Re: "Really?" moments you had.
« Reply #12 on: January 11, 2014, 02:53:55 pm »

Quote
This is why I use doors.

Doors wouldn't help him. Building destroyer what?
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Kronos

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Re: "Really?" moments you had.
« Reply #13 on: January 11, 2014, 06:28:28 pm »

Urist McFeeblePeasant is throwing a tantrum!
Urist McOneManArmy is punched in the head by Urist McFeeblePeasant, shattering the skull through the adamantine helmet and tearing apart the brain!
Urist McOneManArmy has been struck down!
Urist McFeeblePeasant has calmed down.

Yes, Mr. Peasant did exactly one thing while enraged - he punched Mr. One Man Army in the head. Once. Killing him, through the helm (might have been steel - don't entirely remember. It was a while ago). Mr. Peasant was indeed feeble - his strength was well below average - and Mr. One Man Army had a massive amount of strength and endurance, in addition to dodging and armor user, among other things. And after he killed the most valuable dwarf in my fort, he immediately calmed down.
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Spy227X

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Re: "Really?" moments you had.
« Reply #14 on: January 11, 2014, 07:18:54 pm »

Possessed by elf spirits. The only valid explanation is that he was possessed by elf spirits.
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Is this freshwater or saltwater? Because alternatively you could breed a large amount of crocodiles and unleash them into the waters... indirect genocide.
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