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[Execute/Dumbo.exe]

(If I may Point out, my character isn't a schizoprenzic, their patron god is supposed to be, AND NO I HAVE NOT BEEN PLAYING TOO MUCH ARKHAM CITY!)
alright barstards, lets go!

[Dwarmin]

((Man, I completely failed on a five. That's a GM denial right there.

I wonder if he's trying to tell me something....))

Action: Continue my presumably pointless journey to Baker City

[scapheap]

Greet the guy

[Nirur Torir]

Sadly not. Dazzle 1 is only useful for wounded targets.

At least I'm still the most powerful hero by far.
I'm guessing the tower armor absorbs a flat 5 damage per turn. How do damaged buildings get repaired?

Errol, get out of there! You cannot should not try to stand alone against the full might of the evil army.

[IronyOwl]

Turn 3: Mauled

((Does this staff do anything to targets with more than one HP remaining?))

After thanking the townspeople, visit Holo. Make a token effort to resist petting the nice goddess if she appears in wolf form.

[2] Well, you tried. *pat pat*

"I AM HOLO, THE WISE WOLF! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, MORTAL?"

She's rather large, light brown, and covered in red runes. Otherwise it's hard to read wolf body language or facial expressions.

Vow vengeance. Smack one of them with the meat as I locate a battle to join. To get XP and loot, so I have a chance of doing anything.

You swear vengeance, toss the meat at them in rage, and stalk off to do a training montage so you can come back and beat them up later. The army's just getting ready for another surge as you arrive.

(If I may Point out, my character isn't a schizoprenzic, their patron god is supposed to be, AND NO I HAVE NOT BEEN PLAYING TOO MUCH ARKHAM CITY!)
alright barstards, lets go!

[2] vs [6] Apparently one doesn't come to rule a gang of Bakerlings without being able to deliver an absolutely savage beatdown on demand. You're not quite ready for that, and are left dazed and in quite a bit of pain, lying on the ground while the crowd goes wild for the Bakerling leader.

At least you learned a thing or two.

+1 XP
Stuck recovering for 1 round

((Man, I completely failed on a five. That's a GM denial right there.

I wonder if he's trying to tell me something....))

Action: Continue my presumably pointless journey to Baker City

((Yeah, sorry. Was an infeasible action, so the best I could do was provide additional information on it.))

[4] You arrive at Baker City. With nothing else to do, you wander around a bit, gathering free samples of tasty foods the Bakerlings would like to sell you. It's pretty exotic and varied; you get the feeling you'd get queasy right after eating all of it at once.

+Exotic Sampler Box [Potion: +1 HP, -1 Att this round]

Greet the guy

[3] He looks up at you, grinning widely. The shadow remains over his face, despite the change in angle.

"Greetings! Lonely day, wouldn't you say?"


Army
-R
Both sides reinforce
[4] vs [6] Guards win!
Murmurs take 6 dmg, lose 3 Infantry
+6 XP: Kaybull, Shinja
+6 Gold: Kaybull

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

-PLAINS-

Murmur Army C0
0/2 HP Murmur Infantry x0 [L2][+1]
2/2 HP Shinja [+0]
0 Att
Reinforce: 2

Guard Army C0
2/2 HP Slag Infantry x6 [L2][+1]
2/2 HP Kaybull [+0]
6 Att
Reinforce: 2


Shinja Havoc [11/10 XP] (Errol)
2/2 HP
0 Att

Kaybull [6/10 XP] (GWG)
2/2 HP
0 Att
-
6 Gold Coins
Small Haunch [Potion: +1 HP]


Murmur Reinforcements
2/2 HP Murmur Infantry x3 [L2][+1]

Guard Reinforcements
2/2 HP Slag Infantry x3 [L2][+1]


-BAKER CITY-
Nepthym Heliopsis [0/10 XP] (Dwarmin)
2/2 HP
0 Att
-
Exotic Sampler Box [Potion: +1 HP, -1 Att this round]


-HOLO-
Dokiryn the Abjurer [0/10 XP] (Nirur)
2/2 HP
0 Att
-
Chicken Staff of Dazzle 1 [Activated Target: 1 HP worth of enemies fail to contribute their Att or skills to the current battle]
Heartwarm Cider [Potion: +2 HP]


-GUARD BASE-
Throokor Siponai [1/10 XP] (Dumbo)
2/2 HP
0 Att
-
~~STUCK~~



-CENTER-
Gardenia [1/10 XP] (scapheap)
2/2 HP
0 Att


-Auction House-
[Turn 5] +1 Dragon's Claw [Crafting Material]

Sadly not. Dazzle 1 is only useful for wounded targets.

At least I'm still the most powerful hero by far.
I'm guessing the tower armor absorbs a flat 5 damage per turn. How do damaged buildings get repaired?

Errol, get out of there! You cannot should not try to stand alone against the full might of the evil army.

Correct, and by default they don't.

[Execute/Dumbo.exe]

Jesus Christ that's a bit much, oh well.
you know the drill, wait and recover, blah blah blah.

[scapheap]

Gardenia look at the stranger "Lonely day? Why do you say that?" An honest question

[GreatWyrmGold]

Fight or whatever it is you do to get XP in a battle without getting hurt.

[Dwarmin]

Action: Better look for some trouble! Anyone in need of help?

[Nirur Torir]

"Er, I just .. w-wanted to bask in the wisdom of a goddess before focusing on helping the war effort.  _{Please forgive my impudence.}"

[Errol]

I. AM. SURROUNDED. BY. IMBECILES.

Stomp back to camp, get a drill camp going, drill those lousy murmurs into shape! This may or may not be set to the tune of Be A Man.

[IronyOwl]

Turn 4: Plodding Along

Jesus Christ that's a bit much, oh well.
you know the drill, wait and recover, blah blah blah.

You recover nicely, and before long are ready to walk around like you weren't just recently beaten immobile.

Gardenia look at the stranger "Lonely day? Why do you say that?" An honest question

"Why, because there's no one to share it with! Every day needs someone to share it with, don't you think?"

[5] You're pretty sure that's some creepy reference to a contact or mark.

Fight or whatever it is you do to get XP in a battle without getting hurt.

You keep with the army as it advances.

Action: Better look for some trouble! Anyone in need of help?

[2] Uh... there's a bunch of human-looking urchins looking up longingly at a pie cooling on a second-story windowsill...

"Er, I just .. w-wanted to bask in the wisdom of a goddess before focusing on helping the war effort.  _{Please forgive my impudence.}"

"OH. WELL THEN BASK, MORTAL!"

A few seconds of silence follow.

"ANYTHING IN PARTICULAR YOU WANTED TO ASK ABOUT? YOU LOOK CUTE."

I. AM. SURROUNDED. BY. IMBECILES.

Stomp back to camp, get a drill camp going, drill those lousy murmurs into shape! This may or may not be set to the tune of Be A Man.

[2] Singing doesn't seem to improve them in just one scene.



Army
Both sides move to M3
[1] vs [6] Guards win! Murmurs should have paid more attention to the song!
Murmurs take 6 damage, lose 3 infantry
+6 XP, Gold: Kaybull
Next Murmur wave at M1


Trading Post
Proclaiming favorable omens, a group of mercenaries migrate to the Trading Post. They appear to be broom-mounted human-ish females, clad in relatively matching black attire and erratically studded with elaborate pieces of copper and chrome armor.

Techwitch Pumpkinhunters L4
4/4 HP
2 Att
Executioner 2 [Activated: Deals up to 2 additional damage to the final enemy unit receiving damage during damage assignment, but only if this is sufficient to finish it off. Will not deal damage to multiple units or units that have not received damage this battle.]

Rather than demand a set price, these mercenaries simply offer their highly self-lauded services to whoever builds them the finest tower, guildhall, or other base of operations.

Spoiler: Mercenaries (click to show/hide)

Mercenaries are a class of unit. They operate very similarly to normal units, spawning in waves alongside your normal troops, but are somewhat independent of their underlying buildings and sometimes have abilities or tendencies not normally found amongst your available tribes.

A unit of mercenaries from your tribe demanding an appropriate resource supply and staging barracks would be essentially identical to normally built troops. Other mercenaries might have exotic abilities, convenient stat assignments, or easier to meet requirements to secure their services. Mercenaries who do not have their requirements met will generally leave, though also unlike normal troops, they are often physically capable of remaining under suboptimal conditions if they consider it worth their while.

Finally, mercenaries generally count as a population source. Especially determined base-builders can sometimes gain access to even more exotic or useful abilities by cultivating a tribe's abilities beyond whatever is expressed in an initial mercenary group.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

-PLAINS-

Murmur Army M1
2/2 HP Murmur Infantry x3 [L2][+1]
3 Att
Reinforce: 2

Guard Army M3
2/2 HP Slag Infantry x6 [L2][+1]
2/2 HP Kaybull [+0]
6 Att
Reinforce: 2


Kaybull [12/10 XP] (GWG)
2/2 HP
0 Att
-
12 Gold Coins
Small Haunch [Potion: +1 HP]


Murmur Reinforcements
2/2 HP Murmur Infantry x3 [L2][+1]

Guard Reinforcements
2/2 HP Slag Infantry x3 [L2][+1]


-BAKER CITY-
Nepthym Heliopsis [0/10 XP] (Dwarmin)
2/2 HP
0 Att
-
Exotic Sampler Box [Potion: +1 HP, -1 Att this round]


-HOLO-
Dokiryn the Abjurer [0/10 XP] (Nirur)
2/2 HP
0 Att
-
Chicken Staff of Dazzle 1 [Activated Target: 1 HP worth of enemies fail to contribute their Att or skills to the current battle]
Heartwarm Cider [Potion: +2 HP]


-GUARD BASE-
Throokor Siponai [1/10 XP] (Dumbo)
2/2 HP
0 Att
-


-MURMUR BASE-
Shinja Havoc [11/10 XP] (Errol)
2/2 HP
0 Att


-CENTER-
Gardenia [1/10 XP] (scapheap)
2/2 HP
0 Att


-Auction House-
[Turn 5] +1 Dragon's Claw [Crafting Material]

-Trading Post-
Techwitch Pumpkinhunters L4
4/4 HP
2 Att
Executioner 2 [Activated: Deals up to 2 additional damage to the final enemy unit receiving damage during damage assignment, but only if this is sufficient to finish it off. Will not deal damage to multiple units or units that have not received damage this battle.]
Condition: Finest tower built for their glory

[Dwarmin]

Action: That's it, climb up to the window and retrieve the pie for them. Save the world.

[Execute/Dumbo.exe]

GET REVENGE ON THAT BAKERLING.

[Nirur Torir]

((I am not good at negotiating with godlike entities. Also, murmur troops are hilariously terrible.))

"Just godly wisdom in general before I go try to help with the battles? .. I am having issues synching up with the local magic, but I'll probably figure it out eventually with this staff your people gave me."