((WHY DO I STILL TRY TO UPDATE THIS MESS))
Continue slashification of catgirls! Use Shadow Manipulation to summon a 10 foot tall golem made of shadow but hard as diamond!
(5+2) You dice up more catgirls! Blood flies everywhere! You summon a giant shadow golem and lose 1 mana! AND THEN YOU DIE IN LAVA
cast summon drunken brawlers then slap my pink elephants rumps to spur them into action.
(1+2) You fail to cast! You lose 1 mana! AND THEN YOU DIE IN LAVA
Enter the cellar and drink myself senseless.
(4) You engorge yourself on booze! You gain 5 mana and 1 Drunkeness, and lose 1 spellcasting! AND THEN YOU DIE IN LAVA
Ride raptor into glorious battle against the man who had set me on fire!
(2) You charge! But you forgot who it was, and the raptor is confused! AND THEN YOU DIE IN LAVA
Climb onto a table.
Reality Check: "The floor is lava."
(6+2)
((OH GOD)) You stand on a table! The floor turns to lava and everybody in the bar takes 8 damage! Including you because the table is made of wood!
Screw it. Just run away. Quickly. If I trip, keep crawling. Don't stop.
(1) You trip! AND THEN YOU DIE IN LAVA
Drain health the bartender.
(1+2) You fail to cast! AND THEN YOU DIE IN LAVA
Cast Agent Summon, then run outside.
(5+2) Your agent appears! AND THEN YOU DIE IN LAVA
Cast fireball at the pile of catgirls. If I have time to do anything else, retreat behind the bartender's counter.
(3+2) You blow up the remaining catgirls! AND THEN YOU DIE IN LAVA
Run out the now broken door. Summon Carpstorm in the magic mosh pit in the bar.
(2+2) You fail to cast! AND THEN YOU DIE IN LAVA
Cast Wraithswarm and then run through the portal.
(2+2) You fail to cast! AND THEN YOU DIE IN LAVA
Transform unto a Magical Girl!... dwarf and use the resulting boost (once it charges) to take what's rightfully mine- everyone's hearts and everyone's booze!
(1+2) YOU DIE IN LAVA
Summon a Cheese Atronach to protect me!
(2+2) You fail to cast! AND THEN YOU DIE IN LAVA
Sit at the bar and order a drink while muttering complaints about the way my life has gone.
(5) You sit down, and order a drink from the insane bartender. Seeing as he is too insane to assist you, you take a bottle yourself and contemplate your life... Your young hopes, never achieved, you lost dreams, never reached, your lost love, never- AND THEN YOU DIE IN LAVA.
Cast forma draconis on self again.
(5+2) You transform into a powerful dragon! AND THEN YOU DIE IN LAVA
YEEEEEEHAWWWWW MOTHER*******s, I GT ME SOME FLYIN!
make flying tornado, if that doesn't work,haul ass to somewhere safedo that, but also find a octopus I can use its tentacles as at arm
do the flying tornado part, then find a different bar somewhere that I can get to
(6) You fly off to a different bar! Also you seem to be the only person left alive!
Raid cellar for anything in a bottle, then leave. Cast Summon Weapon while raiding, trying for something sharp and/or encrusted in lots of gems. Something valuable, at least.
(6+2) You summon a Gatling gun and grab two whole armfuls of booze! AND THEN YOU DIE IN LAVA
Run outside, caltrops door, run away.
(6+2) You make it outside and caltrops the door right before the entire thing burns down in flames and lava!
Cast Transform: Dragonkin.
Take as many catgirls as I can upon my back.
Chase XANTAWIZZERD.
(4+2) You turn into a dragonkin! AND THEN YOU DIE IN LAVA
HmH killed
everyone, including himself, with the exception of Execute/Dumbo.exe and Playergamer.
I think that this will be the end of this game, since while I liked the concept, I wasn't expecting 19 people to sign up.
Maybe I'll do a follow-up story of the two survivors, and I've got the Booze Train idea and the Foils at Dawn ideas raring to go, so it shall not likely be long before more madness ensues.
Thank you all for participating, even though it literally ended after only 3 turns. AND THEN YOU DIE IN LAVA.