Hire TF2 characters to kill Zanzetkuken
(4) You hire TF1 characters to kill him. The newer models were out of stock.
Institute Omniversal Paranoia Protocals upon everyone except for me and the computers.
(3) You institute Paranoia Protocols on yourself. You are now somewhat more insane, but almost impossible to find.
Steal Demoncalibur from hell. Use it to conjure Hellaphants.
Hey, remember the Dice Curse? It's back! Also you've been kicked out of Hell.
Pull Excalibur out of the White House, thus crowning me as King President of the United States.
(4) You take a walk towards the White House, and the lady of the reflecting pool tosses you the legendary Sword Bureaucracy, cutter of red tape, wielder of the governmental contract, which George Washington was said to wield. And yes, it is a lightsaber.
*high-fives Remuthra for knowledge of Arthurian lore*
Be a Senator.
(4) You become a third-party senator.
Time to slash Nazi communist terrorist Vietcong, for America!
Also, arrest any sympathsizers in America, which now includes GWG.
(6) You institute a reign of terror. You are now at war with all other countries!
Time to slash Nazi communist terrorist Vietcong, for America!
Addition to my prior action:
Hire this man as Minister of Propaganda Public Relations.
(5) You do so. In response, all nations would declare war with you, but you're already at war with EVERYTHING.
Time to slash Nazi communist terrorist Vietcong, for America!
Type extensive report explaining all the problems with this. Also:
(2) The FBI arrest you for two counts of free speech and one count of telling it like it is. You are taken to Guantanamo Bay for questioning about your terrorist nature.