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[Xantalos]

Who are those?

[lawastooshort]

"Don't constipotato me, dude, the power of the potato god is undeniable!"

Cast Potato Vortex on the sceptic!

[Harry Baldman]

Who are those?

"Uh, well, he's a pawn shop owner along with his wife. And they're both wizards."

"Mrs. Lee was one of the originals back in the days!"

"I don't think you're allowed to call two weeks ago 'back in the days'."

"Oh, shut the fuck up, Nigey."

"They went all control-freaky on us after Joanie gave us magic."

"Uh, for our own good, sort of."

"Ostensibly, mind you!"

"And now he's prolly dead."

[Xantalos]

Why is he dead?

[Harry Baldman]

Why is he dead?

"Well, his neighborhood got invaded by an army of what looked like exploding beavers or something. I think. His shop's leveled. A bunch of other people died for sure. He and his wife are missing," Shauna says, sipping her drink, then passing it to her friend.

"Though there are, like, remains or something, remember?" Raven says, then drinks half the pint in one go, and doesn't pass it back.

"I mean, it's too early to tell for sure, but I think he would've shown up already if he didn't get killed or, you know, fucked up some other way. So the point remains."

[Xantalos]

Sounds like a group of hostile magicians. Wanna rustle up a posse and fuck 'em up?

[Harry Baldman]

Sounds like a group of hostile magicians. Wanna rustle up a posse and fuck 'em up?

"Aw yeah! Frontier justice, let's go!"

"You don't even know who did it."

"That's what detective work's for! I say we wait up until the responsible lady and her friend show up, and then we'll have a posse to be reckoned with! The magnificent seven, you know? Or eight, if we took Pete along."

She turns to Pete and shouts.

"Hey Pete! Wanna go out and fuck up some lawbreakers?"

Pete looks confused.

"I think he's up for it. So, the plan is, we stay here and drink a while, and share our best stories of Mr. and Mrs. Lee so that we get mad as hell that they're dead or something. And then, soon as night falls, we hunt for perpetrators!"

"That sounds like a terrible idea, Joanie."

"Yeah, like, the worst."

"Well, then, how about we stay here and drink a while, and you try and come up with a better plan. And then we get mad as hell that there isn't one and go hunt for perpetrators?"

"Oh god. This is going to suck."

[Xantalos]

Excellent! You'll probably extremely regret this when you're sober, but by then we'll be in a magical gangwar, most likely. Anyhow, I'm going to go more fully recruit Pete and then I'll question you guys more.

DUNKER ambles over to Pete.
Hey Father Pete, would you like to accompany us? We're going to investigate the residence of an innocent merchant known to them who was likely attacked by hostile mages who hate God. Only they would resort to exploding beavers. Anyhow, we're heading out in a bit, hopefully avenge some faithful, smite some heretics. You in?

((Oh dear, I think the DUNKER's turning into another cheerful sociopath.))

[Harry Baldman]

Hey Father Pete, would you like to accompany us? We're going to investigate the residence of an innocent merchant known to them who was likely attacked by hostile mages who hate God. Only they would resort to exploding beavers. Anyhow, we're heading out in a bit, hopefully avenge some faithful, smite some heretics. You in?

((Oh dear, I think the DUNKER's turning into another cheerful sociopath.))

"Well, um... I suppose finding profligates and demonstrating them the error of their ways is something I wouldn't be particularly against. I did not really have any other plans for tonight, either. So I suppose I could indeed go along, if you think I should."

[Xantalos]

Excellent, it'll be fun!
Hey guys, Pete's in!

After ambling back over, he begins talking again.

So, Shauna, Raven, what did Mr and Mrs Lee do with their magic? Anything in particular? Who were they in contact with? All that stuff. That you know of, that is.

[The Froggy Ninja]

"Sure let's do it man! I should probably get some matches anyway though. Just in case I want an apprentice. Hey were you the guy who gave those underwear guys spells or is it different for everyone?"

Spoiler: dave (click to show/hide)

Current Name:  Dave David Davidson aka Underlord of the Northern Smutlands
Inventory: Matchbook, Investigation Notebook, Half of a Suit
Stats:
Body: 0
Finesse: 0
Mind: 6
Affinity: 0
Spell List:

• Storm of Distracting Underwear
• Inspire Booze
• Inconceivable Hogweed Bolt
• Thylacine River
• Call Upon Prophetic Vinegar
• Enrage Chimney
• Sabotage Angel
• Happy Smut Barrier
• Engulf in Enchanted Angel Ghosts

[Harry Baldman]

So, Shauna, Raven, what did Mr and Mrs Lee do with their magic? Anything in particular? Who were they in contact with? All that stuff. That you know of, that is.

"I haven't got a clue what magic they even had, to be honest. As for who they know... also not much of a clue. There were these three wizards they sent to pick us up after me, Raven, Trey and Luz ran off to do magic stuff."

"That was the crappiest idea we ever had."

"Yeah, there was a reasonable guy named John, some goofball by the name of Samuel and this woman who didn't talk much. But John's a nice guy, and probably doesn't know much about this. If he's still alive, of course."

"Sure let's do it man! I should probably get some matches anyway though. Just in case I want an apprentice. Hey were you the guy who gave those underwear guys spells or is it different for everyone?"

~Different for everyone, I think!~

[Pancaek]

"Of course you've eaten, you're already a grown man. Can't live this long without eating. Unless you aren't human, of course."

-beat-

"You are human, aren't you, James?"

[Harry Baldman]

"Of course you've eaten, you're already a grown man. Can't live this long without eating. Unless you aren't human, of course."

-beat-

"You are human, aren't you, James?"

"If I wasn't, how would I know?"

[Pancaek]

"Of course you've eaten, you're already a grown man. Can't live this long without eating. Unless you aren't human, of course."

-beat-

"You are human, aren't you, James?"

"If I wasn't, how would I know?"

"Good point. So, what do you want to do now? Anything in particular you want to do?"