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[Toaster]

((I think we're assumed to have about fifty bucks each, so no.

Also, what kind of asshole agent charges up front?))

[lawastooshort]

"How about a hundred bucks now, and a hundred in a couple of days when you've done the work? Cash?"

[Harry Baldman]

"How about a hundred bucks now, and a hundred in a couple of days when you've done the work? Cash?"

"Ah, you see, it does not work that way. What you are paying already is merely half of the total payment. If you cannot rustle up two hundred dollars, well... not to imply anything offensive, but it does cast your entrepreneurial claims into doubt, does it not?"

[lawastooshort]

((Please someone stop me before I do this PROVISIONAL action and apologies for the caps))

((this is my action))

"Arrrrrgh! THIS IS NOT HOW ONE DOES BUSINESS IN BRITAIN! YOU THINK I JUST CARRY AROUND HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS IN CASH? NO ONE USES CASH IN THE MODERN WORLD EXCEPT CRIMINALS AND BENT ESTATE AGENTS! GET THE DAMN PAPERS, BUTTMUNCH! Larry, Elizabeth, leave the room please."

POTATO VORTEX THE MAN'S HEAD!

[Nunzillor]

Hell yeah!  Your character is metal, la!

[Toaster]

Larry laughs.  "Now you've done it."

Exit stage left

[lawastooshort]

Hell yeah!  Your character is metal, la!

((I think you misspelt "a raging eejit drunk on the ultimate power of potato"

But it looks like no one is either stopping me or providing a better plan/cash, so let's commence Plan Potato. It can only go horribly right, or horribly wrong, or horribly averagely))

[Nunzillor]

It would be quite comical if you rolled a 2 and nothing happened.  But frankly I am hoping for a 6 or a 1, as I find those are frequently the most interesting.

In any case, he definitely does seem rather crazed.  I actually thought Larry would be the first to be corrupted, since he loves power.

[Errol]

... you know what? Feel free."

Step out and put on headphones at full blast. Start reading, blissfully ignorant of whatever happens inside.

((Also I can't generate lottery tickets anymore. Swapped it out like fifteen turns ago. Yeah I know I know.))

[Harry Baldman]

"Arrrrrgh! THIS IS NOT HOW ONE DOES BUSINESS IN BRITAIN! YOU THINK I JUST CARRY AROUND HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS IN CASH? NO ONE USES CASH IN THE MODERN WORLD EXCEPT CRIMINALS AND BENT ESTATE AGENTS! GET THE DAMN PAPERS, BUTTMUNCH!" Halesey shouts at this horrible estate agent person. He has had enough of unreasonable people being unreasonable today, and aims to attain satisfaction. Herbert jumps back at the outburst, a bit surprised.

"Larry, Elizabeth, leave the room please," he tells his compatriots in a lot calmer tone, at which point Larry and Elizabeth eagerly comply without a care in the world. As they leave, Herbert looks over at Halesey.

"Now, there's no need to do anything ha-"

[Halesey's affinity roll: 2]

Halesey makes his very best magic face and stares at Herbert witheringly, which makes the real estate agent quiet down and shrink back, putting his back to the wall. And so they stand, with Halesey attempting to summon up his mighty potato vortex, but meeting only impressive-looking failure while Herbert tries to work up the courage to say something to him. After a moment, the agent has a quip in hand.

"Oh my God, you're a complete lunatic, aren't you? I knew I should have invested in a security guard," he stammers out at the rather intimidating-looking Brit opposite him.

[lawastooshort]

"Oh, gosh. Terribly sorry, old chap, don't know what came over me. Well, I do, actually - I have a bit of a condition, jolly rare in fact. I have a terrible rage which is set off by a small handful of words, bit like the one with all the swearing, and unfortunately you said one - you know the one, entrepreneuri-

ARGGGGGG! JUST! JU-

ohnoit'scomingagainpleaseifIstartgurglingcallmyemployeesbackin"

Halesey sinks to his knees, holding his head in his hands and concentrating harder on busting out a good sized potato vortex at the damn fellow's face.

[Toaster]

"You know, I don't hear potatoes yet."

[Harry Baldman]

"Oh, gosh. Terribly sorry, old chap, don't know what came over me. Well, I do, actually - I have a bit of a condition, jolly rare in fact. I have a terrible rage which is set off by a small handful of words, bit like the one with all the swearing, and unfortunately you said one - you know the one, entrepreneuri-" Halesey begins to say, but sinks to his knees once the fateful word is uttered, holding his head in his hands.

"ARGGGGGG! JUST! JU-ohnoit'scomingagainpleaseifIstartgurglingcallmyemployeesbackin" he starts to frightfully mutter, his mind concentrating on making that damn potato vortex a reality right here, right now.

[Halesey's affinity roll: 3+1]

A vortex begins to form in front of Herbert's face opening a sizable hole in the fabric of spacetime. This is alarming, as said vortex seems to be floating in an immobile fashion in thin air. Well, that's how Herbert sees it, anyway. To Halesey, this is merely Saturday.

[Herbert's body roll: 2]

The agent tries to get away from the vortex, but is a bit too slow, as the vortex immediately pulls his head in with what Halesey can't help but consider a satisfying plop.

"Aagh! Sweet mother of god, what's happening?" comes his muffled cry from within the vortex, almost inaudible.

Larry, meanwhile, was about to remark on the lack of potatoes, but there it went. That eldritch whisper of tuber rubbing up against tuber. It is a sound altogether familiar to Larry by now, enough to recognize it at 50 paces and run immediately, at any rate.

[Toaster]

"Never mind, there it goes.  Poor bastard."

Was that a twitch in Larry's eye?

[lawastooshort]

”OH CRAP,” shouts Halesey, hoping his voice travels into potato hell as well as Herbert’s travels out, ”Did I say ‘condition’? ‘Terrible rage’? I meant to say, arg, crikey, you know what, I’m a living conduit to POTATO HELL, and I’m sending you there if you don’t just get me the goddamn papers out the goddamn filing cabinet! NO ONE doubts my entrepreneurial abilities without going to potato hell to goddamn witness said abilities first hand. Now, you get me those papers, get me that factory, and I’ll pull you outta there. Hell, I'll even do you a favour and deal with someone who's troubling you, if you understand. We got a deal?”

It was a shame Halesey couldn’t also guarantee that the building would survive intact, but, well, you know. Life is tough, innit.

If he agrees to do what he can to get me that factory's legal rights, pull him out and offer him a favour in return.