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[Nunzillor]

That 2 was pretty funny.  Lucky for you he doesn't have a security guard (or secretary).  He probably doesn't have the deed to the factory in his file cabinet.  At least, I would be surprised if he did.

Also, my new favorite description: "that eldritch whisper of tuber against tuber."   

[Harry Baldman]

Halesey, having played his trump card, makes his demands and offers plain.

”OH CRAP. Did I say ‘condition’? ‘Terrible rage’? I meant to say, arg, crikey, you know what, I’m a living conduit to POTATO HELL, and I’m sending you there if you don’t just get me the goddamn papers out the goddamn filing cabinet! NO ONE doubts my entrepreneurial abilities without going to potato hell to goddamn witness said abilities first hand. Now, you get me those papers, get me that factory, and I’ll pull you outta there. Hell, I'll even do you a favour and deal with someone who's troubling you, if you understand. We got a deal?” he shouts out in a firm manner, hoping Herbert can hear him at the moment. He doesn't have to wait long for confirmation.

"I'll do anything! Please, help me!"

Eh, good enough. Halesey walks over to Herbert, places his hands on his suit and gives a tug.

[Halesey's body roll: 4]

The estate agent proves easy to pull out, fortunately. He, as can be expected from the uninitiated in the potato arts, was probably just caught in the terror of it all a tad too much.

"Oh, thank you, thank you so much! I'll do anything, just please don't do that again!" he says, tears welling up in his eyes. His glasses appear to be gone now. Good riddance, too. They looked absolutely ridiculous.

[lawastooshort]

"Yeah, dude, I'm a reasonable man. I just want that factory, okay? And, you know, perhaps you have someone who you want to see the inside of potato hell, yeah? We can make this a useful mutual relationship, if you help me with this. You've got the legal knowledge; I've got the potatoes, right?"

[Harry Baldman]

"Yeah, dude, I'm a reasonable man. I just want that factory, okay? And, you know, perhaps you have someone who you want to see the inside of potato hell, yeah? We can make this a useful mutual relationship, if you help me with this. You've got the legal knowledge; I've got the potatoes, right?"

"Oh no, no need to do me any favors! I'm perfectly happy not being in potato hell myself, thank you very much! I'll just be getting to that business you want me to do, yes. No need for more potatoes, please!"

[lawastooshort]

"Okay, that's cool - but remember if you need a favour some time - I'll help those who help me, yeah? And don't get any ideas about telling anyone about this. Who's gonna believe potato hell, right?"

[Harry Baldman]

"Okay, that's cool - but remember if you need a favour some time - I'll help those who help me, yeah? And don't get any ideas about telling anyone about this. Who's gonna believe potato hell, right?"

"Of course! Yes! Not a word! And I'll get to it right away!"

He seems to be sweating profusely.

"Could you, um, remove that potato hell-portal, please? If it's not too much trouble, I mean. And you're feeling up to it, erm, sir."

[lawastooshort]

"Well, I can't stop summoning it, and it will disperse of its own accord, but it's such an enormous and grotesque whirl of power that it cannot just be commanded to vanish. Now that I have willed it to stop, it should fold in on itself and leave shortly. Do not fear for your property, good man. How long do you think it'll take to sort out this documentation?"

[Harry Baldman]

"Well, I can't stop summoning it, and it will disperse of its own accord, but it's such an enormous and grotesque whirl of power that it cannot just be commanded to vanish. Now that I have willed it to stop, it should fold in on itself and leave shortly. Do not fear for your property, good man. How long do you think it'll take to sort out this documentation?"

"Well, I can... do an analysis? Find out who the guy you need is, point you in his direction, and then you can... I dunno, talk to him? Do you actually have any money?"

[lawastooshort]

"Well, yes, as far as I know I have access to money, but I kind of leave that... accounting side of things to Larry and Liz, you know? I'm just kind of the man with the ideas... and the potatoes... Yeah, if you do that, we'll go talk to the guy. I guess I need to get Larry and Liz to update me with the financial side of things. I'm more, well, the creative leadery type, you see. I'll try to get them to sort out your fee, too."

[Harry Baldman]

"Well, yes, as far as I know I have access to money, but I kind of leave that... accounting side of things to Larry and Liz, you know? I'm just kind of the man with the ideas... and the potatoes... Yeah, if you do that, we'll go talk to the guy. I guess I need to get Larry and Liz to update me with the financial side of things. I'm more, well, the creative leadery type, you see. I'll try to get them to sort out your fee, too."

"Oh no, no fee! No fee! Yes, no fee. There's no need for a fee. We're all friends here now, right? Yes?"

[lawastooshort]

"Well, yes, but there's a wrong way of doing things, and there's a right way of doing things, and regardless of however many visits to potato hell happened before the fee gets paid, the right way of doing things involves the fee getting paid. But yes, we're all friends here. Shall we leave and come back, or will it not take long to find out the right guy's name and address?"

Halesey walks to the door and opens it.

"Larry, Elizabeth? Can you come back in now?"

He asks them quietly, so Herbert can't hear.

"Er, any chance you can magic something up to pay the dude?"

[Toaster]

Larry thinks a minute.  "Does he want a tea telescope?  Or hats- lots of hats."

[lawastooshort]

"Er... Hats? I guess? He could... Hmm. Hey, Herbert? You like hats?"

[Harry Baldman]

"Er... Hats? I guess? He could... Hmm. Hey, Herbert? You like hats?"

"Oh yes. Love hats. I try to wear them as often as possible. Let me get one now. I distinctly recall forgetting to put mine on today."

[Toaster]

"Well then hats off to you! Bwa bwa bwa!"

His laugh still sucks.


SUMMON HATS!

Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)

Current Name:  Larry Malone
Inventory: Magic Binder, Telescopic Teatato
Stats:

• Body: 0
• Finesse: 1
• Mind: 3
• Affinity: 3

Spell List:

• Repel Dihydroxiacetone Demon
• Evoke Filthy Mucus
• Alkaline Trouser Golem Beam
• Summon Hats
• Blessing of Telescopic Tea