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Author Topic: Dear Lackey, a thread to declare your annoyance to your AI underlings.  (Read 2503 times)

Silent_Thunder

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Well since someone cloned the "Dear Urist" thread from the upper boards, but for some reason beyond me decided it should only be for one particular game, I decided we need a general thread for this type of thing for all games. (EDIT: Apparently their thread was directed at the FOES of that game, not minions, just for clarification) You know the drill, neglect to mention the game, and its meteor time.

Dear Comrade Tank Crew;
     It was to my understanding that, with the German Army advancing on our position, that it was of the utmost importance that we protect the train station, in order to facilitate an evacuation of the town's factory equipment, as well as it's workers. With that firmly in mind, WHY IN STALIN'S MOUSTACHE DID YOU DECIDE TO DRIVE STRIGHT THROUGH THE CONCRETE BARRIER, OPENING THE TRAIN STATION TO FIRE FROM ALL ANGLES!

Your's Truley.
   Comrade Thunder

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quinnr

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Re: Dear Lackey, a thread to declare your annoyance to your AI underlings.
« Reply #1 on: August 04, 2013, 07:06:42 pm »

Dear Kitty:

That is called a rock trap. Maybe next time you should look up before you move...the traps aren't that well hidden, searching a couple of times will uncover them, silly. You and your friend, Doggy, always seem to die on the first floor of the dungeon, and that just isn't cool. I need you to steal things from those pesky shopkeepers later, and finding spare tripe rations to bribe replacements for you isn't as fun.

Sincerely,
Player

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deoloth

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Re: Dear Lackey, a thread to declare your annoyance to your AI underlings.
« Reply #2 on: August 04, 2013, 07:54:14 pm »

Dear Second in Command;

Getting captured by the enemy force and turning to their side... i can deal with that.

However, when the enemy leader died a year later and you somehow took control and proceeded to quash my empire into the dirt?

Not cool, man, not cool.
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choppy

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Re: Dear Lackey, a thread to declare your annoyance to your AI underlings.
« Reply #3 on: August 04, 2013, 09:29:55 pm »

Dear Second in Command;

Getting captured by the enemy force and turning to their side... i can deal with that.

However, when the enemy leader died a year later and you somehow took control and proceeded to quash my empire into the dirt?

Not cool, man, not cool.
game please.

Xantalos

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Re: Dear Lackey, a thread to declare your annoyance to your AI underlings.
« Reply #4 on: August 04, 2013, 09:33:56 pm »

Dear post,
Watch this thread.

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Sirus

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Re: Dear Lackey, a thread to declare your annoyance to your AI underlings.
« Reply #5 on: August 04, 2013, 09:38:47 pm »

Dear Defense Drone:

You had two jobs: Shooting down missiles and shooting down asteroids. How you managed to screw up both so badly that I lost nearly half my HP in a single system is beyond me. Why can't you be more like your brother, Defense Drone Mk II?

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Sirus

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Re: Dear Lackey, a thread to declare your annoyance to your AI underlings.
« Reply #6 on: August 04, 2013, 09:53:55 pm »

I've won several games with a MkII, and only one (by the skin of my teeth) with the default. I'll take the MkII any day of the week :P
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jhxmt

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Re: Dear Lackey, a thread to declare your annoyance to your AI underlings.
« Reply #7 on: August 05, 2013, 12:49:52 pm »

Dear cavalry,

When I command you to "follow me", that means you should follow me.  It does not mean that you should follow me for as long as it suits you, then decide to cut directly in front of me, causing my horse to rear and stop dead just in time to be on the receiving end of a couched lance from our (mutual) enemy.  You're meant to get them killed, not me.

Once I stop being dragged hither and yon around the countryside by this band of rogues, I will be coming after you.

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ibot66

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Re: Dear Lackey, a thread to declare your annoyance to your AI underlings.
« Reply #8 on: August 05, 2013, 01:31:07 pm »

Dear grunts and psychos in tanks,
Driving into enemy gunfire, or staying still are activities not conductive to our mutual survival. If you persist in this behavior, you will be terminated. My base will be terminated. Everything we love will be terminated under the treads of blue tanks.
CUT IT OUT. STOP DYING.
Sincerely, your warlord.
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« Last Edit: August 05, 2013, 01:33:59 pm by ibot66 »
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Anvilfolk

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Re: Dear Lackey, a thread to declare your annoyance to your AI underlings.
« Reply #9 on: August 05, 2013, 03:00:50 pm »

Z was a wicked game :) I immediately thought of it when you said "grunts" and "psychos". That also had the best animations ever.

Dear Second in Command;

Getting captured by the enemy force and turning to their side... i can deal with that.

However, when the enemy leader died a year later and you somehow took control and proceeded to quash my empire into the dirt?

Not cool, man, not cool.

I'd also like to know the game!

malroth

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Re: Dear Lackey, a thread to declare your annoyance to your AI underlings.
« Reply #10 on: August 05, 2013, 05:05:52 pm »

Dear Spindoctor training to become a Diplomat.

Yes the original massive social minion die-off was my fault originally for tagging Dirk Masters with the Weaken tag after he set himself on fire but If you don't finish your training soon and let the next guy start training up then next time a super agent shows up  he's actually going to get into the base.

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Iceblaster

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Re: Dear Lackey, a thread to declare your annoyance to your AI underlings.
« Reply #11 on: August 05, 2013, 05:26:59 pm »

Dear Veronica

Please be smart and don't run off to punch that fiend show shot you from fifty feet away, and instead use that nifty hunting rifle I gave you, along with fifty rounds for it. Maybe next time I reload, you'll do that

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Haspen

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Re: Dear Lackey, a thread to declare your annoyance to your AI underlings.
« Reply #12 on: August 05, 2013, 05:31:22 pm »

Dear spearmen,

When I tell you to go outside the walls to fight the detestable Xiongnu horsemen, please walk faster so you don't get bottlenecked in a narrow street whilst half of the enemy forces simply go the other way and set fire to my palace.

I liked that palace.

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Sonlirain

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Re: Dear Lackey, a thread to declare your annoyance to your AI underlings.
« Reply #13 on: August 05, 2013, 07:15:28 pm »

Dear fighter pilots.
WHY THE BLEEDING HECK YOU CRASH INTO EACH OTHER AND EVERY SINGLE CRASHABLE OBJECT NEARBY.
Do YOU have ANY idea how moch a fully equipped Eclipse costs?
Oh wait... you're dead...

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ibot66

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Re: Dear Lackey, a thread to declare your annoyance to your AI underlings.
« Reply #14 on: August 05, 2013, 08:23:50 pm »

Yeah, Z is amazing. I just can't figure out how to beat level thirteen. The heavy tank always ruins my day.
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