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Author Topic: A Game of Thrones: Every time somebody uses the spoiler tags take a shot.  (Read 205774 times)

Loud Whispers

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I was told to watch the Fakespeare scene, it's well banter

*EDIT
So Jorah has to find a cure no matter what. From what we've been shown, it took Stannis the resources of House Baratheon and maesters, healers and doctors from across the world just to save Shireen. The likelihood of Jorah finding whichever doctor healed Shireen is slim, least of all if aforementioned doctors even still live anymore.
Now that greyscale is covering his arm. Perhaps he is going to get it rh'ollor'd? Shall he become 2GOD?!!
*EDITx2
Ayy lmao they made Varys fedora tipper
*EDITx3
All it took was one suicide bomb like that and the show's won me
Looks like we're back on top form
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
No dragon horn tho, and 20GOODSHIPS
« Last Edit: May 23, 2016, 06:13:35 am by Loud Whispers »
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Kot

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Kot finishes his morning routine in the same way he always does, by burning a scale replica of Saint Basil's Cathedral on the windowsill.

zombat

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Poor dawgy :(
Are Ghost and Arya's wolf the only ones of the pack still alive now?


And where'd all those First Ones come from? Wasn't there only one in that cave before?


Any good memes about Tyrion and Varys needing a woman?
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Jopax

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So tinfoiling here (I also haven't seen the latest episode and cba to really), but door man died so that Bran can now only depend on the Reed girl?
Rather hamfisted, but not exactly unexpected at this point. Anyways, what was I here for, ah yes, the only good part of the season:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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"my batteries are low and it's getting dark"
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Leafsnail

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Meera spent that whole scene desperately begging Bran and Hodor for help. She is clearly helpless without them.

This selective MRA "analysis" of the series is super tiresome.
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Loud Whispers

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Meera spent that whole scene desperately begging Bran and Hodor for help. She is clearly helpless without them.

This selective MRA "analysis" of the series is super tiresome.
Meera spent the whole scene trying to wake Bran up, then up sticks and hauls Bran's ass into the blizzard whilst Hodor Hodors, Summer an heros, Leaf finally fucking dies and the Night King... Chills out or something. I expect coldhands to arrive soon. Leaf's prediction that Bran needs Meera out there or is useless has been rather well confirmed, given that Bran could not have Hodor'd Hodor without Meera wrrryyyyying into his inception, and Bran would have been Bludraven'd by the Night King if Meera had stayed. Rather interestingly Hodor or Summer could've hauled Bran far faster allowing them and Meera to make more headway into the Blizzard, but I'm pretty certain they an hero'd Summer due to Summer being a bitch to animate (in time and money), not as a stylistic choice, and without Hodor this episode would be just filler - Hodor gives it meaning.

Also m8 I'm doing a feminist reading of AGOT, did you actually read what I said? Suggesting my analysis is bs with quotation marks is pretty hurtful m9, pls no bully, especially since literally the only difference separating you or I on this is that I believe using it as an economic crutch to pander to tumblr shekels is a vapid squandering of creative potential

Let's do some more feminist analysis into this yeah - twice we're referencing Virginia Woolf. Once with Oldtown, another with Danaerys pre-roast toasty scene. In "A Room of One's Own", Virginia Woolf comes upon a fantastic library full of juicy knowledge and ideas to furnish one's self with, that's all nice and well until she's accosted by a librarian, a male librarian who curtly prompts her for a letter of introduction (from a man), or accompaniment by a man, or the door. Oldtown is a literal Alexandrian library of knowledge, of secret agendas and arcane power - that is male only. A shut off space from which no women are allowed entry, and in both show and books the nail is hammered in twofold in that the in-universe characters are mostly all ignorant of the power the Citadel actually has (taking the maesters for granted) with the obvious extension that even the strong female characters are pointlessly depriving themselves of great power. See season 2 for example, with Cersei laughing at Littlefinger for believing that knowledge is power, toting her power as power. It takes another three seasons before Cersei realizes indeed that knowledge is power (after getting rekt by Lancel's confession) and begins employing Qyburn to be her own master of whispers, Qyburn notably being a maester who was kicked out of the Citadel and is not a part of the patriarchal structure.
The second in regards to toasty roasty Queeny Khaleesi scene is a little less subtle (about as subtle as an oven full of Turkomongols), but to condense a scene that quite bored me, D&D are a lot less subtle about their message. The all male Khals all joke around, judging Danaerys on her worth or what should be done with her, whether she's worth 1000 horses or 1 night e.t.c., and when she asks them if they want to know what she thinks they all simultaneously look at her with puzzlement. Khal Uno or whatever the big guy's name is then says to her only the Dosh Khaleen have voices in Vaes Dothrak, and the Khals choose who is made Dosh Khaleen. This is a notable departure from the continuity of either book or the show's canon, since the Dosh Khaleen are not decided by council but are a ritual inherent to all Khalasars - the bloodriders take the Khaleesis to Vaes Dothrak to join the Dosh Khaleen, the assembled Khalasars do not all assemble at Vaes Dothrak every single time a Khal dies to choose which Khaleesi becomes Dosh Khaleen - because that is stupid, and makes no logistical sense, and goes against established Dothraki custom making the S1 Dothraki and S6 Dothraki two different species. I digress, the relevant feminist point here is that sure the Dosh Khaleen have a voice, a prominent female voice to which the Khals answer to, but of course they are the ones (in S6 anyways) picking who the Dosh Khaleen are, with the meaning being the patriarchs (with the Khals being literal patriarchs of the entire Khalasar) choosing which women have a voice or not. This is straight J.M. Coetzee's foe, where the female protagonist has a story to tell but has to tell it through the voice of the male writer's pen, with him ultimately writing it whichever way he wishes - choosing whatever narrative suits him irregardless of what she thinks. Well, that and more toasty fire.
There's also much to be said about the etymology of Dosh Khaleen; in British slang Dosh = Money, drawing the obvious inference that the Dosh Khaleen are the Money+Women (implying commodification and objectification, confirmed by S1 with the Dothraki partaking in slavery, sex slavery and raiding, extended even into their highest female societal echelons), and the way the subtitles were translated in the British broadcast on Sky Atlantic was "women of worth," which again implies all of the above.

Now how many people would have been able to get that without having already studied marxism? And of them, how many would have given a shit if they did not already agree with marxism? And of them, how many actually give a shit about the characters, the show or source material?
On the first account, for those not turned off by the preachiness will honestly be better off picking up feminist literature themselves, they will find more entertainment there than in AGOT's uniquely retarded interpretation and that is honestly not even taking into account how problematic AGOT via a feminist reading is for conducting all of the sins it attacks. Did you see the earlier tumblrposts I linked? They reduced them to tears over unnecessary Sansa rape. Fans like myself and feminist fans alike were absolutely livid over Sansa rape, because it wasn't very feminist, didn't advance the story besides give Theon a redemption ark that was immediately stunted and cleared in ep2 and completely tanked Sansa's character development from growing confidence and control of Robin to useless Damsel in distress, which we had just spent three seasons watching. We really didn't need three more seasons of it. The writers are white, straight men who have a penchance for writing in torture porn, snuff porn, porn porn and from things that are entirely devoid from the source material just to have their exploitation show capture more free publicity and (public) exposure. That's not very moral, that's not helping the show's quality and it's not very feminist, it's disagreeable on every front except artistic license and freedom of expression - on principle.

Then we get onto how GRRM and D&D both clearly have different levels of care for the work they want generations of people to remember. GRRM autistically obsesses over every minor detail and character, giving them every bit of life he can even if they serve no purpose. The effect being everyone has a voice, GRRM is so feminist he doesn't even call himself feminist out of concern that he fears offending feminists who believe a man can never truly be a feminist and he identifies his gender as man. D&D on the other hand can't even maintain internal consistency.
We've now seen Brienne, Littlefinger and Sand Sneks teleport everywhere across impassable geographical barriers whenever the plot demands it. We've seen characters act completely out of character and then have them lampshade their unexplainable actions in an attempt at covering their arses. Nowhere is this more evident than with unnecessary Sansa rape. We get a whole scene dedicated to asking why Littlefinger did what he did, and he is incapable of providing explanation because there is literally no reasonable explanation for why he did what he did, it goes against the source material and the show's depiction of the show's shadow ruler and even in his faux apology he fails to provide explanation beyond "I dunno what I'm doing." Given that Littlefinger is one of the few characters we've established since Season 1 as Kingmaker and actually knowing what he is doing (VALYRIAN DAGGER!), this is D&D speaking for why they diverted from the source material to cut out the Jeyne Poole character and merge her with Sansa. They dunno lol. That's not very feminist, and that's not very good writing.
Consider that GRRM treats all of his characters as people with their own lives and motivations, and how rich of a fantasy world it is (barring Dany sues and Jon Snuhs aside). Please people who enjoy good feminist literature and good fiction alike, whilst presenting it in such an engaging fashion that it's accessible and intellectually challenging to those who haven't had a lick of marxism in their life. We get all the competent male characters killed off, made dependent upon or subservient to strong independent womyn for no reason whatsoever, Dorne and Baratheon fans will never be appeased, not even with a thousand Cleganebowls for the sheer level of bullshit they faced.
The scheming Machiavell who used his weakness as his strength to fool his enemies was reduced to lol weak man, weak men will never rule Dorne again!!!!!! - Despite none of this having been foreshadowed, or considered, as shown by Sand Snek teleportation, and Areo being axed heh, rather before his time. It gets notably repetitive, predictable and ultimately uninteresting. All the female characters are the same and face no issues.

Just look at the Iron Babbies. In the source material, that Theon is not present at the Kingsmoot is what allows Euron and Yara to throw their lot in. And then we get this scene, where Theon gives a great speech - a better speech than Yara's and musters up more support than her, gathering support from both the greener and ironer Ironborn. So why the hell wasn't he running? (In the source, Theon is imprisoned. But because no Stannis, we get 2 plot holes). Then the evil patriachal Damphair is crowning Euron (with no CPR, leading to akward fish scene), and they go to kill their neice and nephew. But wait, Yara has gone with all the Iron Born's fleet! Oh no!
...But then, hang on a minute. If she had enough supporters to steal the entire Ironborn fleet, how the fuck did she lose the Kingsmoot? And why are the Ironborn supporting the man who just admitted to killing the rightful King and his plan is to give a fleet (which he did not have, even if Yara did not nick it) to Danaerys in exchange for a marriage? We're not at swiss cheese levels of plot holes, we're at tennis racket.

Now how many people will give a shit about the message D&D preach if they didn't already give a shit? Well, D&D in S6 have been as persuasive as baked shit. Actively repellent, because it's so ham handedly obvious as to be repugnant through its discord. On a show that prided itself in moral ambiguity, subtlety and the slogan that there are no villains, they decided that they would have obvious morality with strong woman = good, weak men = bad and strong men = villain, whilst subtlety is nonexistent in their vocabulary. It is quite anomalous, even for D&D.
Compare for example GRRM's rather subtle depiction of the Dornish gardens, where through play a Rhoynish girl topples an Andal boy, translated into D&D's S6 vision we'd have three sand sneks beating the crap out of an Andal cripple whilst they shout "bad pussy squad roll out, greedy bitches unbent and unbowed."
And this is S4 onwards, with S6 in particular going to insane heights of substituting substance with marxist lecture (and piss poor!, it is only understandable by those who already understand!). Just look at S3, we have everything Lady Catlyn does (fantastic, too much to list, but her interactions with Robb are so genuine - contrast how Robb sought her guidance for warfare and strength vs Tommen's schizophrenic dialogue with Cersei S6), the Baratheon plots are killing it with Queen Selyse, the Red Priestess Melisandre and most of all - Shireen! Who gives voice to Stavos the pauper no less by teaching him to read! Great thing about all of this is that it makes the characters human, they aren't the perfect goddesses of S6 without flaw or mistake, they fuck up big time, they make their successes, their developments, make their motives into action - engaging stuff which makes you feel for the characters. Again from season 3, how many people will understand the message of S6 beyond man = bad and woman = good if they haven't already studied feminist literature? Fuck all people that's what, but one of the finest feminist lines comes from S3 Brienne.
In the Brienne+Jaime prisonbreak subplot (revolving around Catlyn, Cersei and Arya's machinations no less, being independent female agents without being grrrrrl power retardation), Jaime is whinging and moping about how much his life sucks and how he just wants to die and so on. Brienne gets so disgusted with his weakness that she flips out on him and barks at him, shouting at him to stop being such a woman. The look on Brienne's face (Gwendoline Christie's acting sells it here) tells you everything without needing a masters in gender studies or some other poo, they don't even give any more dialogue. You see the pain in Brienne's face, you see the change in Jaime's resolve as he realizes what Brienne's been going through - you hear the pain of Brienne, always being told women are weak, yet never being able to start her own family nor use her martial prowess, being denied both any home in the feminine or masculine by the standards of Westeros. If you've studied feminist literature you can go on into internalized misogyny, or whip out de Beauvoir and how women are the other in reference to a strong male standard, and if you haven't - the pain and silence says it all. The acting says it all.

It seems rather sad that I once genuinely believed A Game of Thrones could have the potential to be one of the greatest shows ever made, whilst now my standards of expectation are so low I would be content to see it be enjoyably bad. My hair isn't even dyed green, and even I see this is the last retreat of those whose poor choices have led them to rely on identity politics to avoid actually putting continued effort into their writing.
You know how some things are panned by critics of their time, but become timeless cult classics as they age and people realize just how good they are? Then there are the opposite, the things that pandered to the current year. They don't age as well, and this season has already garnered a shit ton of flak for being DABID DABID DAN DAN BAD PUSSY to the max, now it's got this further demerit. I like Jackie Chan's take on it, why focus on the money? This is your work, it will live beyond you. Why not put your best effort into it (and if this really is the best D&D can offer... Dear God). At this rate, the next character D&D will kill will be the show's legacy, it is to be expected that a show that relies on violence and tits would resort to any other method to maintain revenue xD

Loud Whispers

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To further hammer in D&D losing control of their show, on the topic of teleporting characters. The Sand Sneks obviously are most glaringly obvious given that they teleported from the Deserts of Dorne in Sunspear (beneath the Stepstones) into King's Landing Harbour, past Dragonstone. How they managed to do this especially during the high security situation of King's Landing is questionable, even if we assumed the Sand Sneks possessed a ship fast enough to do so. Only Euron has a magic ship capable of such speeds, and in the show Euron doesn't even have this ship. The last time someone was assassinated in King's Landing the only way they escaped was at nightime amidst a fog. It was brought daylight on a sunny day and they assassinated a prince who was under guard.
Then there's Brienne, who manages to teleport wherever she needs to be to fulfill every single one of her character's existing plot motivators. She teleported through two armies to find the exact person she needed to find, then found what she wanted, then teleported to the girl she promised to save. Traditionally, when one is stuck between the option of avenging your fallen Lord or saving your trusted Ward, you have to pick one or the other. Given that Brienne can teleport, god forbid she actually have to make a difficult decision - she gets to make both. I expect she shall teleport to the Riverlands next, hopefully this means spooky Catfish confirmed.
Then there's Littlefinger, who has revealed how he is pulling the puppet strings of everyone. He can teleport! Littlefinger has proven the most adept teleporter of them all. He was in the Eyrie of the Vale, an isolated Mountain Fortress that becomes inhospitable in the Winter. Travel to and fro the Eyrie is dangerous as the Hills are alive with the sounds of Shagga and the other clans, who nearly claimed the lives of Tyrion and Bronn. From there he traveled to the North to Winterfell, then to King's Landing - possible if he had retinues/sneaky travel, and after the Boltons took Moat Cailin. Then he returns to the Vale, then he somehow makes it all the way to fucking Mole's Town at the Wall.
WTF?!!!
And now he's teleporting his way back to the Vale somehow.
To add salt to injury, the Boltons fear a southern invasion. Why? They hold Moat Cailin. Roose Bolton lectured Ramsay on a well-provisioned Lannister invasion when that is impossible when they hold Moat Cailin, unless they have already forgotten that Robb Stark was screwed when the Ironborn took Moat Cailin and held it with a mere 200 soldiers, or again when Roose Bolton himself had to have Ramsay take Moat Cailin in order to bring the Northmen home. It is not just a major logistical obstacle, it's straight up a gateway. It is Constantinople, it is Alexandria, it is Stalingrad, it is Jing - if you do not take it, your armies will not get anywhere past it.

Enough about plot sinkholes though. On the topic of actual dialogue of substance, amidst all of Littlefinger's D&D explanation for poor Sansa rape choices, it is rather interesting how Littlefinger talks of troop dispositions with Sansa. He references the Tully forces who would be loyal to Sansa and not Jon Snow, whilst Jon Snow has his wildling armies, Littlefinger is trying to place Sansa in charge of her own army. Brienne would make a suitable marshal, but I suppose Spooky fish is acceptable too, and I want to see a return of the piss fish. Anyways, Littlefinger makes reference to the Tully armies and the Wildling armies, that's all nice and good. Yet he neglects to mention a certain other factor - himself.
The Lannisters are quite depleted, and the one extra army that Kevan was raising before the Red Wedding is likely the one that has just been entrusted to Littlefinger to take back the North. In addition Littlefinger controls the Riverlands all the way up to Riverrun, giving him possibly more levies (though the Riverlands is a bit of a shithole in its current wartorn state). The most significant factor is that Littlefinger managed to get Cersei to give him a massive Lannister army whilst Littlefinger already has the largest army and most professional army in Westeros, having command over the elite Vale Knights. Of the armies of Westeros, the Lannisters are overstretched, the Reach are bloodied from Baratheon battle and High Septon shenanigens, the Dornish are unbloodied but small, the Ironborn are Rustaborted, the North and Riverlands are all kinds of fucked - but the Vale troops are both fresh and elite.

Now presuming he can teleport his forces through Moat Cailin (perhaps use a fleet to take Oldtown?), there's no question that he can take the North. Also consider that the letter sent to Jon Snow by Ramsay Bolton is possibly a forgery by Littlefinger - and Jon Snow is amassing half the Northern Lords to do battle against the other Half, meaning there will be none who could oppose an invasion by a Lannister-Vale-Riverlands army. Heck, the Vale army on its own would do the job. The bigger question then lies in - what the bloody hell would Littlefinger want to do with the North? It's a hell load of nothing, whilst all the rich prizes are in the south for the taking. There are two possibilities - one is either D&D messed up his character too much with Sansa rape, the other is that Littlefinger still deems the Reach too powerful to risk provoking by taking on the Lannisters, the Reach or the Iron Throne itself. The third is he has an extra super secret plan, but it seems odd as he should already have all the logistical capabilities to take over the Westerlands and Reach - giving him control over the richest lands and core lands, with Dorne, the Iron Islands and the North contained. What is CIA up to?!!

Also calling it now, Jorah Friendzone Mormont is confirmed 8GOD, and Yara will be Viccy without the 2GOD.
It's kinda funny that Danaerys with access to three Empires worth of doctors orders Jorah to find help. It would be like if I owned the USA, all of Europe and China and then ordered my terminally ill friend to go find help themself. Not surprising given how she treated Khal Drogo even though the Khalasar had doctors too. Only rhollolo fire can save his arm now, and give him cool glowing powers. FOR HE IS THE UNKINDLED ONE, THE CHOSEN UNDEAD WHO WILL RELINK THE FIRST FLAME
« Last Edit: May 23, 2016, 10:06:10 pm by Loud Whispers »
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Orange Wizard

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Holy shit LW
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Please don't shitpost, it lowers the quality of discourse
Hard science is like a sword, and soft science is like fear. You can use both to equally powerful results, but even if your opponent disbelieve your stabs, they will still die.

Xantalos

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Holy shit LW
Truly the critic this show needs, but not the one it deserves.
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Kot

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This is actually more amusing than most of the actual show, this is glorious. You need some bad poosi, man.
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Kot finishes his morning routine in the same way he always does, by burning a scale replica of Saint Basil's Cathedral on the windowsill.

Solifuge

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Shit, S06E05. Just gonna say that the Doorman bit was possibly the worst best Oh Wow It All Makes Sense In Hindsight moments of the series. The implications of that being possible are interesting, but holy butts... as if he hadn't been dehumanized and used as a tool enough already.

In other news:

Tru tragedy. Honestly though, that origin was an unexpected twist, but one that explains his peeps Modus Operandi. Sad that we're down to only 3 left after that spear, plus an unknown number of Crasterlings I suppose?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I saw that little look when they were leaving Castle Black too. I don't see it going much farther, but one can dream~
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Sheb

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I love your review LW.
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Yoink

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So, I haven't watched any of the new episodes, but just now one of my friends said, "So, [OTHER FRIEND'S NAME], what's your favourite character in Game of Thrones?" Naturally, everyone (there were quite a few people in the room) began considering their own answer.

A few seconds later, though, he amended the question to "Which one do you relate to the most," which really changed things.
After a moment's thought I answered with Hot Pie. Just bails on the whole grand story bullshit and chills out at home making pies.
That's the way to do it. Who needs all that stress, anyway? He'd lose the game of thrones anyway.
Better to be realistic and pick a less deadly career, not to mention a tasty one.   
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Orange Wizard

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After a moment's thought I answered with Hot Pie. Just bails on the whole grand story bullshit and chills out at home making pies.
Honestly that is pretty relatable. Huh.
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Please don't shitpost, it lowers the quality of discourse
Hard science is like a sword, and soft science is like fear. You can use both to equally powerful results, but even if your opponent disbelieve your stabs, they will still die.

zombat

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So, I haven't watched any of the new episodes, but just now one of my friends said, "So, [OTHER FRIEND'S NAME], what's your favourite character in Game of Thrones?" Naturally, everyone (there were quite a few people in the room) began considering their own answer.

A few seconds later, though, he amended the question to "Which one do you relate to the most," which really changed things.
After a moment's thought I answered with Hot Pie. Just bails on the whole grand story bullshit and chills out at home making pies.
That's the way to do it. Who needs all that stress, anyway? He'd lose the game of thrones anyway.
Better to be realistic and pick a less deadly career, not to mention a tasty one.   

Hot Pie will win the Game of Thrones by being the only one left alive at the end, the first thing he will do is melt down the iron throne into a pie oven.
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