Turn Forty OneHAND OF LEPROSY on… dice roll… WHIZ!
”More feckin’ adventurers?” rasps the angriest of the three skeletal wizards as he lurches awkwardly towards the six fecking adventurers,
”Really?”Something seems to tick tick tick in his mind, or in the space where his mind used to be, and he changes direction, lurching slightly more menacingly than before and grasping out with his outstretched hands towards Whiz the Whizard, who seems to be quite busy looking in his poc – wait, he isn’t naked?
Oh.
…The skeletal wizard – Human Wizard Skeleton Three – tries to get a firm grip on Whiz’s chest, hoping to leprify it off, but he misses, and stumbles past!
Redirect Bukkar into skeleton wizards like a torero. Backup plan: Have lil' Skullduggery headbutt Bukkar's groin, then run like hell.
Look for Medha. Rob of substantial amount of money.
Oh, and free my foot from the table in order to do this.
Then go back to the doctor guy and cure the Vomiting.
"Oh," blurts out Medha, completely unrelated to witnessing Whiz’s prolonged survival or clothedness and much more related to the mildly irritated yells emanating from the portal from which she’s just appeared.
FECKIN' GOLD STEALERERMedha looks around herself just to check.
"Crap." There’s no one else who looks quite as much like a gold stealerer as her.
"Oh crap oh crap." …Before Medha can take any preventative measures at all, Bukkar, and in particular his foot and what looks like bits of table leg, introduce themselves to Medha’s arse with considerable yet friendly force!
Medha clatters several feet forward into the ground, sliding a small amount for comic effect, and comes to a halt in the middle of the dark room.
Something – Bukkar, judging by the smell of cheese – starts rummaging through her pockets.
…It steals Medha’s bag of FOUR HUNDRED Green Farthings!
Bukkar turns away to gloatingly return to the inn and doctor when suddenly a pet skull starts nipping at his ankles before jumping up and headbutting the barbarous mage in the groin!
…As he collapses to the ground – appearing very much to be suffering from a fractured groin – Bukkar starts to be hideously sick.
He bravely drags himself and his sack of FOUR HUNDRED large copper coins across the floor towards the portal and medical attention, hauling himself, in such groin pain that all he can see is bright white light, across the pungently and freshly lubricated stone flooring.
He inches stoically towards the portal and away from the undead doom behind.
Bukkar pulls himself to his feet.
He retches!
He retches so heavily that the portal is entirely covered, at which point it fizzles, and crackles, and fades, and disappears.
Wound Acquired: Bukkar Crangrom:
Fractured Groin!Bugger.Action: Steal the hat from the Skeleton with the pointy hat. And punch it in the face, demanding lunch money.
Run at Human Wizard Skeleton the First (the one with the Raging War Kill, if clarification needed) and try to dislocate his pelvis from the rest of his skeleton with a well-placed running kick.
"What's that smell?" asks Lady Foxglove, deciding enough money related nonsense is enough,
"It reminds me of a burning...mailbox...?""That’s... just… it’s nothing…""Oh. For a moment there I thought there was some kind of lizard-skin based body hair conditioner flavouring the smoke. Must have imagined it. Onwards, comrades! Let us smash the… uninventive undead!""Get the wizards first. They are unknown quantities.""And are easily defeated! Hark! Yea! They wear pointy hats, wherein is stored much of their evil magicks!""One of them has a pointy hat.""He’s mine! En garde, fiend!""Are you taking this seriously? These are undead skeletal wizards you know, not just any old skeletons – they could kill us!""Pfffff!"Skipping lightly around the zombie towards the menacingly pointy hatted dead wizard,
…Lady Foxglove narrowly misses with her cunning attempt to steal its power and instead punches it right in the face
…and leaves a nasty hole in the side!
Suddenly Gervedder flies past feet first like a ballista bolt of burning vengeance and chest hair!
…The skeleton’s pelvis breaks!
Attack… dice roll… Whiz! With a rock!
Just then the Troglodyte Zombie interrupts Gervedder and Lady F’s post-situationalist dance collaboration, flinging a huge rock towards Whiz’s eyes.
…It bounces off, leaving but a nasty bruise!
Summon Skeletal Knight!
Just then the Human Wizard Skeleton who is neither clearly the leader nor the one with leprous hands summons a skeletal knight. There’s an obviously and, thinks Tackov, unnecessarily flashy shimmering of vaguely evil light and then a skeleton materialises.
It’s wearing a full suit of plate armour.
It’s carrying a large rusty two handed sword.
It’s… marching directly towards Whiz!
It’s raising its vast murderous weapon!
…It misses.
Wind Blast the most undamaged skeleton into the second most undamaged skeleton!
Gee Whiz I, then double punch whichever skeleton Toaster doesn't Wind Blast.
"More fecking skeletons? " complains Tackov,
"Really?""Yes… the Gods are being quite uncreative today, it seems..." murmurs Lady Foxglove, between punches into the wizard’s – the skeletal wizard’s – face, looking wistfully into the sky through several layers of rock.
"Urg, did you hear that?""What th- ""Is it coming from above?""It’s – Oh good gods! "A cry of terror pierces the blackness of the dungeon.
"Oh Lady preserve us!"A wail of fear cuts through the darkness of the temple.
"Oh crap." "A… a mummified… ""Oh gods…""S… sabre toothed… sheep?"As Tackov readies his magics towards the healthy summoning skeleton, the sheep, massive pointy sharp teeth gleaming, leaps out of the shadows and towards the lucky mage, totally failing to rip off his temporarily useless leg.
”Baa!”"Feck!"The wizard aims his mind towards the wizard with the warrior, gusting him gently towards the wizard trying to molest Whiz.
…It’s not a very impressive gust.
It’s not a very destructive blast. It is, in fact, rather more like two well-dressed Englishmen of a certain age bumping into each other absent-mindedly in an Edwardian library: bumbling apologies are offered and a top hat adjusted whilst news about Diana, whom neither of the pair has seen for quite some time – since that terrible business with the diamond and the three horse carriage in fact, why, I think it’s fair to say she was awfully ill-treated, and I do think Cousin Victoria might have been a little more friendly about it, but it isn’t really on to gossip, is it, although, you know, I do rather think she’s landed on her feet, and Charles is very humane to still think so highly of her – of Gould’s in general, don’t you know, I say though, I still prefer my club to any other, set in my ways now, you see, anyway-Both skeletons are lightly damaged!
Rushing between the two lightly damaged skeletons comes Whiz, almost faster than the human eye can see but not nearly as fast as his fists!
…With one punch the vicious wizard severs the air next to the skeletal mage’s face; with the next punch he severs the face itself!
The skeleton drops to the ground in a pile of bones!
Where P = Closed portal.
Name: Mummified sabre toothed sheep
Status: MummifiedHealth: [HP: 100/100]Abilities: Sabre toothedName: Troglodyte Zombie
Status:Health: [HP: 100/100]Abilities: Rock Throw |
The Vomiting Name: Human Wizard Skeleton 2
Class: Wizard Skeleton
Status: SkeletalHealth: [HP: 40/50]Abilities: Summon Skeletal Knight,
Beginner’s FireballName: Human Wizard Skeleton 3
Class: Wizard Skeleton
Status: SkeletalHealth: [HP: 40/50]Abilities: Summon Skeletal Knight,
Hand of LeprosyName: Knight Skeleton 1
Class: Knight Skeleton
Status: ArmouredHealth: [HP: 75/75]Name: Tackov Cedtry
Class: Level 2 Wind Mage
Status: -2 to movement! -1 to dodging! -1 to combat! +1 to head defence.
Health: [HP: 55/55] |
The Vomiting! |
Broken Legs!Abilities: Magical Typhoon I,
Wind Blast I,
Wind Step I,
Squishy,
Sissy Slap FightInventory: Minor Mana Potion x1,
Scroll of Beginner’s Fireball x1,
Masterwork Helm!, one memorised use of:
Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! Name: Whiz
Class: Level 2 Whiz Wiz(ard)
Status: -1 to lower leg damage. -1 to social interaction. +1 to balancing.
Health: [HP: 80/80] |
Giant Rat’s Tail!Abilities: Shield I,
Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast II,
Obviously a Powerful Wizard,
It’ll Make You Blind!Inventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver,
Raider’s Dress of Shin Protection, 37 Yuros, Fancy Clothes,
Scroll of Beginner’s Fireball x2,
Middling Health Potion x1,
Middling Mana Potion x1, Cutlass, Three daggers,
Minor Health Potion x4, +1 Bolt of Accuracy x5, +1 Bolt of Burning x5, +1 Bolt of Paralysis x2,
Middling Health Potion x1 x1.
Name: Medha Correo
Class: Level 2 Curse Crafter
Status: -1 to gut damage. +1 to chest damage.
Health: [HP: 80/80] |
Severed Rib! |
Severed Rib!Pet Skull Health: [HP: 10/10]Abilities: Opportunistic Attack,
Bad Luck Curse,
Curse of the Fool,
Wandering Asshole,
Curse of the Curse CrafterInventory: Dagger, Half a dress, 77 bandages,
Neckless of the Ribless, Coffee (half a jug), Small bottle of Mage blood, Dagger, Lock picking kit,
Iron Cuirass, unlit torch, 96 Yuros (real gold), Bones, Crossbow,
Brittle Jagged Groinbone Dagger of Good! Name: Gervedder Vietzo
Class: Level 2 Opportunistic Messenger
Status: -1 to gut/chest damage.
Health: [HP: 70/80] |
Burning Chest Hair!Abilities: Nimble Feet,
This Messenger Delivers,
Make Way for the Messenger! Important,
Stop For DirectionsInventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver, 9 bandages, 7 Yuros,
Iron Cuirass, Crossbow,
Bandage of Healing! Name: Lady Foxglove Vainglorious the III
Class: Level 2 Ravenhaired Crusader
Status: Super-presentable!
Health: [HP: 80/80]Abilities: Silent as a Raven’s Wing,
Opportunistic,
Honeyed Tongue,
Vain,
Self-RelianceInventory: Minor Health Potion x1, Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver,
Necklace of Permanent Death! Name: Bukkar Crangrom
Class: Level 2 Ragin' Mage
Status: -1 to social interaction. -1 Pain penalty.
Health: [HP: 60/80] |
The Vomiting! |
Fractured Groin!Abilities: Rage Lazors I,
Ass of the Flaming Foot I,
Lightning Fist I,
Always Looking For a Fight,
Always Hungover Inventory: Sword of Severing! Crossbow, 1
Stinking Eejit cheese, 2 Yuros, 400 Green Farthings.
Author
Topic: Roll to Dungeon Quest - It's not you, it's me. (Read 191181 times)