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Author Topic: Roll to Dungeon Quest - It's not you, it's me.  (Read 191289 times)

Dwarmin

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.26
« Reply #405 on: June 07, 2013, 05:00:42 am »

Lady Foxglove brought her crossbow back out.

Her sixth greatest skill-aside from her beauty, presentability, speed, intelligence, and brutality-was opportunism, after all.

It was easier to shoot people in head when they couldn't move!

Action: Headshoot the prone Zombie 2 like a coldblooded killer! Resist both the urge to tilt my crossbow sideways, and to make gang signs while doing so.
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Dwarmin's fell gaze has fallen upon you. Sadly, Your life and your quest end here, at this sig.

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Xantalos

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.26
« Reply #406 on: June 07, 2013, 10:01:56 am »

RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH

Pick up the drunkard and beat the zombies to (re)death with him.
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Errol

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.26
« Reply #407 on: June 07, 2013, 10:02:56 am »

Figure out some way to store the cheese where nobody can smell it. No, orifices are not an option under any circumstances.
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Chink

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.26
« Reply #408 on: June 07, 2013, 10:10:23 am »

Loot all of the robber's crossbows, quivers, and valuable objects. Assist in the head-kicking.
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Toaster

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.26
« Reply #409 on: June 07, 2013, 10:47:07 am »

Wind Blast the healthiest enemy into the ceiling!  If none are threating any more, diagnose my arse. Pull the poisoned implement out if it is still there.
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
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lawastooshort

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Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.27
« Reply #410 on: June 10, 2013, 06:33:02 am »

Turn Twenty Seven

Loot all of the robber's crossbows, quivers, and valuable objects. Assist in the head-kicking.

In the bank, Whiz quickly rifles through the belongings of the deceased or deceasing robbers. Pocketing three normal quivers, three crossbows, three daggers, and a large sack of gold coins, he dashes over to the last living robber to give him a few hard kicks in the head before the mob finish him off.

A rotund fellow with important looking facial hair gets up from behind the bank counter – Whiz notices him and first thinks that perhaps he wants to join in the head-kicking like any other well-meaning citizen, but then the bank manager speaks.

”I say!” he says, ”Many thanks! However can we repay you! A recommendation to the Captain of the Guard, perhaps? I don’t suppose you happened to recover the large sack of gold coins they stole, did you?”

…   …   …   …   …   …

Run past the violent drunkard while distracting him, hoping to make him turn his back on Bukkar.

"Sir duelist!" shouts Gervedder in zombie-lit temple, sprinting distractingly round and round the violent drunkard whilst flailing his arms in the air and trying to remove his clothing to increase his distraction quotient, "You dropped your giant sack of money! Why, there's a hundred Yuros in here!"

”Crikey!” cries the violent drunkard, ”And look at that ribless bastard who’s stolen ‘em off me!”

The violent drunkard decides to ignore Bukkar and jumps towards the ribless bastard Medha Correo waving his fists menacingly.

Figure out some way to store the cheese where nobody can smell it. No, orifices are not an option under any circumstances.

Quote from: drunkard
Attack the money thief!

Medha Correo stinks. Or at least, as she’d want to explain to anyone who gave her the chance, her cheese stinks. She’s wondering whether she’d just be better off eating the damn stuff, turning it over and over in her hands – and leaving an indelible trace of stink across them – when she clumsily fumbles, drops the precious cheese, leans over to pick it up, and thus inadvertently but entirely effectively dodges the vicious assault of the approaching violent drunkard.

She picks her precious cheese up off the floor and gently strokes it.

Perhaps it’s just other people’s noses that stink, she thinks.

What a lovely cheese. Barely smells at all.

She caresses it fondly.


Pick up the drunkard and beat the zombies to (re)death with him.

RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH

Just as the violent drunkard turns to swing at Medha a second time, Bukkar Crangrom storms up in a rage, bends to tug on the fecker’s ankles, and suffers severe lower back pain!

He crumples on the floor and writhes about in rage and agony!

Wound Acquired: Bukkar Crangrom: Severe Lower Back Pain!

Quote from: zombie one
Stagger about on fire!

Meanwhile the burning blind zombie successfully staggers about burning! Everybody manages to avoid the walking pillar of flame!

Quote from: zombie two
Attack the money thief!

Convinced that the money thief has actually thieved his money, the furious legless zombie hauls itself over to Medha and tries to head butt her feet to death.

Head butting the floor and having Medha absent-mindedly walk over and crush his fingers would probably hurt, but he’s a zombie, so it’s ok.

Wind Blast the healthiest enemy into the ceiling!  If none are threating any more, diagnose my arse. Pull the poisoned implement out if it is still there.

Tackov’s arse hurts. But Tackov is made of stern stuff! He comes from a long line of somewhat capable wizards: it would probably take considerable arse pain to distract this stoical mage from wielding his powers of death and destruction!

Surprisingly enough, after this fearsome introduction and despite his hurting backside, Tackov’s Blast of Wind peels forth with tremendous power, shooting up from underneath the violent drunkard, blasting him into the ceiling, and not in the slightest bit slowing his fall as he smashes back into the floor.

Wound Acquired: Violent Drunkard: Damaged Legs!

Wound Acquired: Violent Drunkard: Damaged Legs!

Wound Acquired: Violent Drunkard: Severed Chest!

Action: Headshoot the prone Zombie 2 like a coldblooded killer! Resist both the urge to tilt my crossbow sideways, and to make gang signs while doing so.

Desperate to save her comrade Medha from having her feet gently nudged a bit by an angry zombie, Lady Foxglove Vainglorious III slowly walks over to the mangled prone fiend, tilts her crossbow sideways, and shoots with one hand whilst apparently playing rock paper scissors against herself with the other.

She blasts its face right through its head, spattering rotting zombie brain and skull fragments all over the flagstone! Bits of blood and other indescribably repulsive gore spurt all over the place, totally covering Medha’s boots with sickening bits of mouldy ex-human!

It’s quite disgusting!

In fact Foxglove shot so hard the crossbow bolt seems to have penetrated the stone floor, pinning the zombie head in place!

The zombie stops crawling.
Spoiler: GM Notes (click to show/hide)
Current Players:
Spoiler: Tackov Cedtry, Toaster (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Whiz, Chink (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Medha Correo, Errol (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: June 10, 2013, 08:56:40 am by lawastooshort »
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Harry Baldman

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.27
« Reply #411 on: June 10, 2013, 06:39:20 am »

Utilizing my bandages, go and help Tackov with his arse pain. After all, it would be inhumane not to help someone who's done about half the damage of the entire party.
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Xantalos

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.27
« Reply #412 on: June 10, 2013, 06:41:23 am »

YOU SONOVABITCHAAAAAAAARRRRRG
Bukkar, lamost literally glowing with rage, launches himself at the final zombie, looking for a target to take his aggression out on. That zombie didn't seem to mind.
His fist arcing with power, he drove it down toward the enemy with ridiculous speed.
LIGHTNING FIST ZOMBIE ONE!
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Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
Quote from: Toaster
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Dwarmin

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.27
« Reply #413 on: June 10, 2013, 07:17:17 am »

((Ahh, did I ever mention how awesome this game is? The serious yet insane nature of it is amazing.

Makes me laugh. In a good way. :P ))

"Well, I'm done." Lady Foxglove said, strolling to the safety of the doorway, clapping her hands twice-as one does when good work is done.

She just knew if she stuck around she would be lit on fire, or have a piece of medha-cheese thrown on her, or have to watch two men try to negotiate an arse and bandage duet.

Quote from: Bukkar
YOU SONOVABITCHAAAAAAAARRRRRG

"You know, bad posture is to blame. Not the undead." She commented, on his back pain.

Action: Let all the burning, stinking, arse bandaging antics play themselves out while I am safely across the room.
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Dwarmin's fell gaze has fallen upon you. Sadly, Your life and your quest end here, at this sig.

"The hats never coming off."

Errol

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.27
« Reply #414 on: June 10, 2013, 09:19:46 am »

Study Bukkar's lower back pain. For science, and possibly replication in future curses, of course. If he insists it might be possible to help him with it, but that would be a terrible waste.
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Toaster

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.27
« Reply #415 on: June 10, 2013, 09:55:40 am »

"Damned zombies.  Also, ouch."

Assist Gerdevver with arse repair.
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

Chink

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.27
« Reply #416 on: June 10, 2013, 09:35:00 pm »

"Err... Yes! I actually did recover it! As for my reward, I was wondering if maybe I could get a little payment? Maybe 25% or so of the bag, since I did save it from getting stolen completely and all. Also, could you tell me where I might collect a bounty for these thieves?"

Ask for said reward, try to collect bounty on thieves.
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lawastooshort

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Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.28
« Reply #417 on: June 11, 2013, 10:05:41 am »

Turn Twenty Eight

Ask for said reward, try to collect bounty on thieves.

"Err... Yes!“ tries Whiz, "I actually did recover it and never intended to take it away hoping no one would notice! As for my reward, I was wondering if maybe I could get a little payment? Maybe 25% or so of the bag, since I did save it from getting stolen completely and all. Also, could you tell me where I might collect a bounty for these thieves?"

”Er – that would probably bankrupt us, my kindly good sir! How about 10% and an address and commendation for the bounty?”

The bank manager offers Whiz a smaller sack from within the sack, probably containing about 100 Yuros in cash.

He also writes out a signed letter and briefly describes the directions to the town guard HQ.

Action: Let all the burning, stinking, arse bandaging antics play themselves out while I am safely across the room.

Back in the temple, Lady Foxglove successfully crosses the room without suffering any burning, stinking, or arse bandaging and takes a quiet moment by the door.

LIGHTNING FIST ZOMBIE ONE!

YOU SONOVABITCHAAAAAAAARRRRRG

The more-articulate-than-normal Bukkar is quite, as one might be able tell, angry. He smashes the burning head off the nearest blind and crippled zombie with the power of his FIST OF LIGHTNING, sending it and a blast of electricity careering across the room and smashing against the far wall!

The wall doesn’t collapse though.

Study Bukkar's lower back pain. For science, and possibly replication in future curses, of course. If he insists it might be possible to help him with it, but that would be a terrible waste.

Whilst Bukkar expresses his anger, Medha can’t help herself but watch and, it might be said, stink. She notices several particularly interesting things about back pain which lead her to believe that she could, if she wanted, develop a rather good curse to inflict it on any humanoid sized creature. Indeed, she could probably even improvise a one-use-only curse to inflict such an ailment on the spot if only she had one more turn to study its characteristics and some form of blood to invoke with.

Utilizing my bandages, go and help Tackov with his arse pain. After all, it would be inhumane not to help someone who's done about half the damage of the entire party.

"Damned zombies.  Also, ouch."

Assist Gerdevver with arse repair.

Enjoying a more intimate mo- wait no let’s not.

In the corner farthest away from the judging eyes of Lady Foxglove, Gervedder kindly and humanely pulls Tackov’s trousers down and helps him with his arse pain.

Together, with the help of a good honest bandage, they manage to repair Tackov’s arse!

Tackov still feels quite weak, however.

Spoiler: GM Notes (click to show/hide)
Current Players:
Spoiler: Tackov Cedtry, Toaster (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Whiz, Chink (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Medha Correo, Errol (click to show/hide)
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Toaster

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.28
« Reply #418 on: June 11, 2013, 10:12:28 am »

"Better.  Still feels all weird, though.  What's all in this room, anyway?"

Search the room for clues, plot hooks, traps, and treasure.
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

Harry Baldman

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.28
« Reply #419 on: June 11, 2013, 10:24:35 am »

"Well, glad to help. As for this room, it looks like this place is rather important. Perhaps a worship hall or whatever temples have that people go into and get their worship on."

Aid Tackov in the search for important/useful/dangerous features of the room. As always, watch out for traps. Watch out for them most verily. After all, we already have one case of a poisoned buttock. Don't need any more.
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