Turn Twenty SevenLoot all of the robber's crossbows, quivers, and valuable objects. Assist in the head-kicking.
…In the bank, Whiz quickly rifles through the belongings of the deceased or deceasing robbers. Pocketing three normal quivers, three crossbows, three daggers, and a large sack of gold coins, he dashes over to the last living robber to give him a few hard kicks in the head before the mob finish him off.
A rotund fellow with important looking facial hair gets up from behind the bank counter – Whiz notices him and first thinks that perhaps he wants to join in the head-kicking like any other well-meaning citizen, but then the bank manager speaks.
”I say!” he says,
”Many thanks! However can we repay you! A recommendation to the Captain of the Guard, perhaps? I don’t suppose you happened to recover the large sack of gold coins they stole, did you?”… … … … … …
Run past the violent drunkard while distracting him, hoping to make him turn his back on Bukkar.
"Sir duelist!" shouts Gervedder in zombie-lit temple, sprinting distractingly round and round the violent drunkard whilst flailing his arms in the air and trying to remove his clothing to increase his distraction quotient,
"You dropped your giant sack of money! Why, there's a hundred Yuros in here!"…”Crikey!” cries the violent drunkard,
”And look at that ribless bastard who’s stolen ‘em off me!”The violent drunkard decides to ignore Bukkar and jumps towards the ribless bastard Medha Correo waving his fists menacingly.
Figure out some way to store the cheese where nobody can smell it. No, orifices are not an option under any circumstances.
Attack the money thief!
…Medha Correo stinks. Or at least, as she’d want to explain to anyone who gave her the chance, her cheese stinks. She’s wondering whether she’d just be better off eating the damn stuff, turning it over and over in her hands – and leaving an indelible trace of stink across them – when she clumsily fumbles, drops the precious cheese, leans over to pick it up,
…and thus inadvertently but entirely effectively dodges the vicious assault of the approaching violent drunkard.
She picks her precious cheese up off the floor and gently strokes it.
Perhaps it’s just other people’s noses that stink, she thinks.
What a lovely cheese. Barely smells at all.
She caresses it fondly.
Pick up the drunkard and beat the zombies to (re)death with him.
RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHJust as the violent drunkard turns to swing at Medha a second time, Bukkar Crangrom storms up in a rage, bends to tug on the fecker’s ankles,
…and suffers severe lower back pain!
He crumples on the floor and writhes about in rage and agony!
Wound Acquired: Bukkar Crangrom:
Severe Lower Back Pain!Stagger about on fire!
…Meanwhile the burning blind zombie successfully staggers about burning! Everybody manages to avoid the walking pillar of flame!
Attack the money thief!
…Convinced that the money thief has actually thieved
his money, the furious legless zombie hauls itself over to Medha and tries to head butt her feet to death.
…Head butting the floor and having Medha absent-mindedly walk over and crush his fingers would probably hurt, but he’s a zombie, so it’s ok.
Wind Blast the healthiest enemy into the ceiling! If none are threating any more, diagnose my arse. Pull the poisoned implement out if it is still there.
Tackov’s arse hurts. But Tackov is made of stern stuff! He comes from a long line of somewhat capable wizards: it would probably take
considerable arse pain to distract this stoical mage from wielding his powers of death and destruction!
…Surprisingly enough, after this fearsome introduction and despite his hurting backside, Tackov’s Blast of Wind peels forth with tremendous power, shooting up from underneath the violent drunkard, blasting him into the ceiling, and not in the slightest bit slowing his fall as he smashes back into the floor.
Wound Acquired: Violent Drunkard:
Damaged Legs!Wound Acquired: Violent Drunkard:
Damaged Legs!Wound Acquired: Violent Drunkard:
Severed Chest!Action: Headshoot the prone Zombie 2 like a coldblooded killer! Resist both the urge to tilt my crossbow sideways, and to make gang signs while doing so.
Desperate to save her comrade Medha from having her feet gently nudged a bit by an angry zombie, Lady Foxglove Vainglorious III slowly walks over to the mangled prone fiend,
…tilts her crossbow sideways, and shoots with one hand whilst apparently playing rock paper scissors against herself with the other.
…She blasts its face right through its head, spattering rotting zombie brain and skull fragments all over the flagstone! Bits of blood and other indescribably repulsive gore spurt all over the place, totally covering Medha’s boots with sickening bits of mouldy ex-human!
It’s quite disgusting!
In fact Foxglove shot so hard the crossbow bolt seems to have penetrated the stone floor, pinning the zombie head in place!
The zombie stops crawling.
Temple:
Please note you are about five squares left of where it says you are here.
Bank:
Robber Three: ?/50. Being kicked in the head repeatedly.
Temple:
Zombie One: 35/75, broken arms, -2 to combat, burning eyes and head, blind, severe fire (no threat unless you hug him and thusly catch on fire)
Current Players:Name: Tackov Cedtry
Class: Level 2 Wind Mage
Status: -1 to strength!
Health: [HP: 35/55] |
Poisoned Buttock!!Abilities: Magical Typhoon I,
Wind Blast I,
Wind Step I,
Squishy,
Sissy Slap FightInventory: Minor Mana Potion x1,
Scroll of Beginner’s Fireball x1, 3 Yuros, one memorised use of:
Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! Name: Whiz
Class: Level 2 Whiz Wiz(ard)
Status: -1 to lower leg damage.
Health: [HP: 60/80] |
Pierced Chest!Abilities: Shield I,
Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast II,
Obviously a Powerful Wizard,
It’ll Make You Blind!Inventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver,
Raider’s Dress of Shin Protection, 2 Yuros, Fancy Clothes,
Scroll of Beginner’s Fireball x1,
Middling Health Potion x1,
Middling Mana Potion x1, Billy’s Potion of Being Big and Strong and Things,
Medium Health Potion x1, Cutlass, Three normal quivers, Three crossbows, Three daggers, Large sack of gold coins.
Name: Medha Correo
Class: Level 2 Curse Crafter
Status: -1 to gut damage. +1 to chest damage, -1 to dodge, -1 to charisma style rolls.
Health: [HP: 80/80] |
Severed Rib! |
Severed Rib! |
Broken Guts!Abilities: Opportunistic Attack,
Bad Luck Curse,
Curse of the Fool,
Wandering Asshole,
Curse of the Curse CrafterInventory: Dagger, Half a dress, 78 bandages,
Neckless of the Ribless, Coffee (half a jug), Small bottle of Mage blood, Dagger, Lock picking kit,
Iron Cuirass, unlit torch, 400 Green Farthings, 1
Stinking Eejit cheese.
Name: Gervedder Vietzo
Class: Level 2 Opportunistic Messenger
Status: -1 to gut/chest damage.
Health: [HP: 80/80]Abilities: Nimble Feet,
This Messenger Delivers,
Make Way for the Messenger! Important,
Stop For DirectionsInventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver, 10 bandages, 7 Yuros,
Iron Cuirass.
Name: Lady Foxglove Vainglorious the III
Class: Level 2 Ravenhaired Crusader
Status: Super-presentable!
Health: [HP: 80/80]Abilities: Silent as a Raven’s Wing,
Opportunistic,
Honeyed Tongue,
Vain,
Self-RelianceInventory: Minor Health Potion x1, Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver, 2 Yuros.
Name: Bukkar Crangrom
Class: Level 2 Ragin' Mage
Status: -2 to movement and dodging, +2 to anger and related rolls (such as Rage class related skills!).
Health: [HP: 80/80] |
Severe Lower Back Pain!Abilities: Rage Lazors I,
Ass of the Flaming Foot I,
Lightning Fist I,
Always Looking For a Fight,
Always Hungover Inventory: Minor Health Potion x1, 2 Yuros.