Turn FourThe end is exceedingly nigh! Outside the door, the magnificent
timewizard pulls the cotton wool from his ears, slowly gets up and stretches, and slips through the door to return to his chambers. He stands silently at the back of the room.
Action: Roll to victory! Roll right into the portal mere inches away! KEEP ROLLING
…The first thing he sees is a particularly attractive burning ball of human rolling right into the portal!
Run into the portal. Now.
The next thing he sees is somewhat less glorious – and also somewhat less burny – and somewhat confusing. Is it a sheepdog? Is it… a peasant?
…Whatever it is, it seems to be rolling on the floor with its legs in the air waiting for someone to scratch its tummy!
RUN THROUGH THE PORTAL
And then, to the dismay of the majority of brave would-be adventurers present, and probably to the dismay of the entirety of beings on the other side of it, Bukkar Crangrom spreads his elbows, raises his knees,
…AND RUNS THROUGH THE PORTAL!
CRIKEY!
Ride the demon cow to the finish
Not far behind and oblivious to the pointless of it all, Richard Haze struggles to his feet. He dashes, gritting his teeth and dragging his useless fractured leg, towards the backside of Albert the Demon-Cow.
…He leaps up!
…He wrestles the monstrous wolfcowthing off Albert’s back and onto the floor!
He rides the demon cow to…
…somewhere a bit nearer the finish than where he started!
TIME FOR A LAST CHANCE FIRE BREATH THAT WILL INCINERATE THE OPPOSITION WHILE ALBERT AND I RUN TO THE PORTAL AND LEAP THROUGH IT AS DRAMATICALLY AS POSSIBLE.
Meanwhile Blarg is left on the floor; plans foiled and back bruised. He shouts after Albert.
”Albert darling! Breathe a last chance fire breath and we can pass to the other side together!”…Albert mostly kind of ignores him! She has another lover now!
Wailing and gnashing his teeth, Blarg runs after his runaway Cow-Demon towards the portal.
…If it hadn’t just snapped shut he would totally have gotten through it.
Drink healing potion, Charge for the portal at all costs.
At all costs.
Nearby, as the Cow-Demon rushes past, Lenneth Hardy, Guardsman, is burning – on the arse, on the arm, and on the chest hair.
So he takes a healing potion!
As his face magically stops bleeding, he falls to the floor and burns to death.
Run! Go for the portal as fast as my stereotypical little legs can carry me!
…Beral Siltmill has no time to mourn his fellow adventurer though: he dashes off incredibly fast towards… what now seems to be just a bare stone wall at the end of the wizard’s chambers.
At least he stops before smacking into the wall. Yay!
Power sprint my way to victory!
…Finally comes Derm the Nonchalant Destroyer, Fabled Aetheric Sorcerer. Tucking his elbows in and waddling slightly like a penguin, he performs the Power Walk of Gnom, blasting his way towards the ex-portal directly in front of him and, when he sees its absence, neatly turning aside at the last moment and continuing to Power Walk in a calming and possibly magical circle, until he gets a bit dizzy and needs a sit down.
The quest bequeather clears his throat in the sudden silence.
”Gentlemen!” intones the wizard, levitating gratuitously towards the six remaining contestants.
”Never mind! The perils of Istria are great and many, and I fear that your presence on the other side may be required before long. Be not ashamed: you have done well! Although the other six have done better. And the task itself – that is to say travel one hundred and five metres – was not terribly difficult. And you burnt my desk. And one of you managed to… Anyway. Be not ashamed, and be ready. I expect that Lumithea will call on you at a moment’s notice!”Where one set of initials or one dash equals 5 metres.
BURNT DESK - - - - - - - - - - - LH - - - RH - NA BG BS D EX-PORTAL
Lady Foxglove Vainglorious III and Bukkar Crangrom are through.
The other six will waitlist in the following order:
Derm, Beral Siltmill, Blarg Gargleson, Nedenir Adaros, Richard Haze, the reanimated corpse of Lester Hardy. I wish I could have taken you all, but 12 people is too many for me and I think you would have destroyed the world, the story, every nearby NPC, and half of each other within a dozen turns.
Sorry Caellath. All you had to do was not roll 4 or less on 2d6.
I will now probably update my other rtd and then get back to Turn One.
Author
Topic: Roll to Dungeon Quest - It's not you, it's me. (Read 194565 times)