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Author Topic: Re: Only two posts on 'Tropes vs Women in Video Games'  (Read 311809 times)

Vector

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Re: Only two posts on 'Tropes vs Women in Video Games'
« Reply #3780 on: September 12, 2014, 09:18:59 pm »

I brought it up with a friend and their opinion was mostly that no one MAKES you drink and that they should have self-awareness enough to prevent this sort of situation (don't booze yourself up just because someone keeps buying you drinks). Though they did say someone who does that is a big douche.

What if it's a friend trying to cheer you up or celebrate?
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Neonivek

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Re: Only two posts on 'Tropes vs Women in Video Games'
« Reply #3781 on: September 12, 2014, 09:23:38 pm »

I brought it up with a friend and their opinion was mostly that no one MAKES you drink and that they should have self-awareness enough to prevent this sort of situation (don't booze yourself up just because someone keeps buying you drinks). Though they did say someone who does that is a big douche.

What if it's a friend trying to cheer you up or celebrate?

That is more that they are utterly betraying your trust... making them super douche.

Though as I said, I am sort of between opinions right now.

I don't think your at fault.
« Last Edit: September 12, 2014, 09:25:35 pm by Neonivek »
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Playergamer

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Re: Only two posts on 'Tropes vs Women in Video Games'
« Reply #3782 on: September 12, 2014, 09:25:46 pm »

((How are you a douche for buying your friend a bunch of drinks? Isn't that like, the opposite of doucheness?))
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Neonivek

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Re: Only two posts on 'Tropes vs Women in Video Games'
« Reply #3783 on: September 12, 2014, 09:26:18 pm »

((How are you a douche for buying your friend a bunch of drinks? Isn't that like, the opposite of doucheness?))

The friend is buying you drinks to make you feel better, you get smashed, and to help you further they sleep with you.
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RedKing

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Re: Only two posts on 'Tropes vs Women in Video Games'
« Reply #3784 on: September 12, 2014, 09:30:43 pm »

Who said that was their intent?

This whole line of argument is bordering on, "Well, if she didn't want to get raped, she shouldn't have gotten drunk."
While it may have been a poor decision, no one should be raped for making a poor decision (or at all, but you get my drift.)

By the same token, it's like saying "Well, if you didn't want to get mugged, you shouldn't have been in a bad part of town at night."
True, being in a crime-ridden neighborhood increases your chance of getting mugged and should be avoided if possible. But the corollary to that is that this should in no way excuse the mugger of his actions. We don't say "Well, can ya blame the guy? I mean, you were walking in his neighborhood with a wallet. You pretty much asked for it."

So why do people use the same bullshit logic on rape victims?
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Neonivek

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Re: Only two posts on 'Tropes vs Women in Video Games'
« Reply #3785 on: September 12, 2014, 09:32:31 pm »

Quote
So why do people use the same bullshit logic on rape victims?

Because people use the same logic on other victims.

It really isn't unique to rape victims.

The only thing Rape victims have that other ones don't is that often what they are considered responsible for is something they shouldn't be blamed for.

The OTHER aspect is frankly... the whole "getting smashed" thing is quite a bit more avoidable.
« Last Edit: September 12, 2014, 09:35:31 pm by Neonivek »
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RedKing

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Re: Only two posts on 'Tropes vs Women in Video Games'
« Reply #3786 on: September 12, 2014, 09:36:05 pm »

So you've actually heard of a mugger being excused because the victim was in a bad neighborhood? Or a murderer?

About the only other crime where I see so many people suggest the victim is culpable is domestic abuse (as per the recent Ray Rice scandal).

You don't even hear child abuse excused with "well, that kid probably mouthed off and the parent just snapped, y'know?" (at least not as often as you used to)
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Rolan7

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Re: Only two posts on 'Tropes vs Women in Video Games'
« Reply #3787 on: September 12, 2014, 09:42:48 pm »

Who said that was their intent?

This whole line of argument is bordering on, "Well, if she didn't want to get raped, she shouldn't have gotten drunk."
While it may have been a poor decision, no one should be raped for making a poor decision (or at all, but you get my drift.)

By the same token, it's like saying "Well, if you didn't want to get mugged, you shouldn't have been in a bad part of town at night."
"Well, if they didn't want to have sex, they shouldn't have gotten themselves drunk and decided to have sex."

But calling it rape, ignoring that they chose to drink, ignoring that they chose to have sex...  Sure, when you misstate your opponents' position like that, it does seem unreasonable!  Thanks for your helpful contribution!

Also, being mugged isn't voluntary.  Going home with someone typically is.  As is clear to anyone not deliberately misrepresenting arguments they can't actually win against...

True, being in a crime-ridden neighborhood increases your chance of getting mugged and should be avoided if possible. But the corollary to that is that this should in no way excuse the mugger of his actions. We don't say "Well, can ya blame the guy? I mean, you were walking in his neighborhood with a wallet. You pretty much asked for it."

So why do people use the same bullshit logic on rape victims?

Strawmanning is "bullshit logic".
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Re: Only two posts on 'Tropes vs Women in Video Games'
« Reply #3788 on: September 12, 2014, 10:10:06 pm »

But calling it rape, ignoring that they chose to drink, ignoring that they chose to have sex...  Sure, when you misstate your opponents' position like that, it does seem unreasonable!  Thanks for your helpful contribution!
Okay, every time somebody says that nobody's saying, "You weren't really raped", I'm linking to this post. Or, honestly, probably not posting, because this thread's starting to make me angry. Because this is literally what you're doing - defining rape as needing to meet your own personal threshold of badness, regardless of what the victim thinks. Keeping your definitions straight is apparently more important than accepting a victim's perspective.
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Rolepgeek

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Re: Only two posts on 'Tropes vs Women in Video Games'
« Reply #3789 on: September 12, 2014, 10:17:09 pm »

Quote
Apparently disagreeing with that is no different to saying women who wore revealing clothes were "asking for it"

There is kind of a big difference. The natural concequence of getting smashed is drunken sex.
No. It really isn't by any means the natural consequence. Common =/= natural.

Rolan, how many times have you had sex with someone while drunk and not wanted to at the time?

I made my argument the way I did because they way you're arguing seems along the lines of 'if someone has sex and is drunk, it is automatically their choice and responsibility, and they automatically consented to it' as it's basis. If this is not what you are trying to argue, please clarify, because right now, while some of the points you are making is good, what it seems like now is that if someone had sex while drunk, and wasn't utterly hammered to the point of incoherency, it's their own fault, and they 'decided' to have sex. Which is pointing at people who feel violated and raped after scenarios in which they didn't actually want to have sex but did anyway for whatever reason, it really doesn't matter why, what matters is that they felt violated and raped for it to be rape in such a case. And a lot of times, there are people who take advantage of your poor decision making skills. If I were to go to a club and have some drinks, I'm pretty sure I would do it to hang out with friends and get buzzed, not to have sex, so if I ended up having sex with someone because I wasn't able to think through the consequences of it or have good decision making skills, I would feel violated. Wouldn't you? If someone purposefully took advantage of my drunken state so they could have sex with me, I would say that person was a rapist. I may or may not press charges depending on other circumstances(probably not since that can get expensive and unless they did something else that was really shitty, or I felt extremely violated and not just upset that it had happened), but that doesn't change the fact that they had sex with somebody who was unable to give, and this is important(and I just remembered the term for it), informed consent. Consent when they fully understand and are in a state of mind to understand the consequences of said consent.

They chose to drink, yes. If I choose to drive, and someone crashes into me, you can't claim 'well you chose to drive'. If I choose to do something that is socially acceptable for entertainment purposes without the intent or desire to have sex, I should be able to not have sex. While drunk, I may not remember that I did not want to have sex. I may not have enough presence of mind to be able to refuse advances clearly, and not everyone, sadly, ascribes to the 'yes means yes', they ascribe more along the lines of 'no means no' or may not take no for an answer, and at a certain point a drunk person may find it easier to go with it and just give in. That's not consent, though. Certainly at no point was it informed consent. I should not have to refrain from drinking simply because I don't want to have sex. That's ludicrous.

The problem is not that we're misrepresenting each other's arguments. The problem is that we aren't even seeing them, I think. We're seeing each other's arguments as they pertain to being opposite our own position, not as they are, and are thus making arguments against each of our opposing positions. Rolan seems to think, from my perspective, that drunken sex is never/almost never rape if they drunkenly consented(so long as they were the ones to get themselves drunk). If that is the case, I will respond with the concept of informed consent, and people being allowed to expect not to have sex while sober, but are less able to make good decisions while drunk, should not be inherently punished for drinking as though it was a natural sequence of events that can't be avoided. If it's not, I'd like you to clarify.

As far as I can tell, from Rolan's perspective, he thinks I, at least, am arguing 'all drunken sex is rape'. Which is untrue. I'm stating that what you might think is consensual, and what is actually consensual, are not the same. I'd like to point out that who is harmed by drunk driving, which at least one person has talked about, isn't just yourself, while drunken sex that you didn't give informed consent to, is usually just you, unless STDs or everyone involved being way too hammered, or other specific circumstances that aren't what I'm referring to. Additionally, no one else tries to get you to drive the car. Someone else is usually trying to get you to have sex with them in the cases I'm talking about. So the responsibility, and the causer of harm, lies on the drunk driver. The responsibility, and the causer of harm, does not lie on the (god we need a specific word for this, since it's more general than rape victim but more specific than 'drunken sex person') person whom had sex while drunk without giving informed consent, though. To claim it does is a form of victim-blaming. This is simply true.

However, I do agree that no one should use some sort of textbook definition of rape for finding statistics, that's complete and utter bullshit. Analyzing how many women have been raped is entirely dependent on whether they feel it was rape or not. So those statistics people are just kinda dicks anyway. I'm with you on that, Rolan. But I also feel(emphasis on the word in the sense of 'as far as I can perceive') that you, effectively, telling drunk-rape victims that it was their own fault because they're the ones who chose to drink and then(important part is that they decided to after drinking, not before, because the whole informed consent thing) 'chose' to have sex.

Additionally, logical fallacies will be present, inevitably, in every argument. It is, in fact, a logical fallacy to try and use pointing out logical fallacies in place of legitimate argument. Note them, but respond anyway. Doing otherwise doesn't actually help anything, it just stalls and stagnates the discussion.
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Neonivek

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Re: Only two posts on 'Tropes vs Women in Video Games'
« Reply #3790 on: September 12, 2014, 10:18:37 pm »

Quote
Keeping your definitions straight is apparently more important than accepting a victim's perspective.

Given I KNOW how victims act when they are victimized and that they are not the best source of information ever when it comes to the crime they are often the victims of... (lets just say I am tired of hearing victims of crimes cry out for excessive justice every single time on the radio...)

Yeah I am going to stick with getting a good firm definition over bowing to someone because they are victims.

In fact why is the victim's viewpoint MORE important than anything else here? Shouldn't we just take their opinion with equal weight?

BESIDES Bauglir it is easy to play "Victim of crime combat" with throwing people who are victimized either way.

Or rather I don't value someone's opinion just because they have been a victim, it takes no skill or talent to be a victim, it doesn't give you any new insight nor does it make you any better equipped to talk about it. It is better used as a perspective rather then words from an expert (A victim isn't an expert in being a victim)

Quote
No. It really isn't by any means the natural consequence. Common =/= natural.

Drinking yourself until you cannot make rational decisions leading to you making an irrational decision.

Quote
The problem is not that we're misrepresenting each other's arguments. The problem is that we aren't even seeing them, I think. We're seeing each other's arguments as they pertain to being opposite our own position, not as they are, and are thus making arguments against each of our opposing positions.

In this case I have no firm opinion I am just throwing out observations and differing ways of thinking to see how it flows.
« Last Edit: September 12, 2014, 10:24:15 pm by Neonivek »
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Vector

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Re: Only two posts on 'Tropes vs Women in Video Games'
« Reply #3791 on: September 12, 2014, 10:26:28 pm »

it doesn't give you any new insight

holy shit
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Neonivek

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Re: Only two posts on 'Tropes vs Women in Video Games'
« Reply #3792 on: September 12, 2014, 10:27:43 pm »

it doesn't give you any new insight

holy shit

No I am retaining it. "It is bad" isn't anything new. The degree of bad isn't anything new.

Boiling down arguments to a series of victim-fu is just boiling down arguments to garbage. It just becomes "who was victimized more" and is unhelpful.

There are better ways to use a victim's experience and knowledge.

-Edit: On second though, lets not support this... I'd rather people move past this then try to prove or disprove it.
« Last Edit: September 12, 2014, 10:41:17 pm by Neonivek »
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RedKing

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Re: Only two posts on 'Tropes vs Women in Video Games'
« Reply #3793 on: September 12, 2014, 10:41:41 pm »

Wow. I've stayed out of this thread before because it seemed like a toxic shitfest. Impression confirmed.
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Rolan7

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Re: Only two posts on 'Tropes vs Women in Video Games'
« Reply #3794 on: September 12, 2014, 10:43:56 pm »

But calling it rape, ignoring that they chose to drink, ignoring that they chose to have sex...  Sure, when you misstate your opponents' position like that, it does seem unreasonable!  Thanks for your helpful contribution!
Okay, every time somebody says that nobody's saying, "You weren't really raped", I'm linking to this post.

I'm arguing against a absurdly broad redefinition of "rape" in that sentence, not doubting rape victims.

Or, honestly, probably not posting, because this thread's starting to make me angry. Because this is literally what you're doing - defining rape as needing to meet your own personal threshold of badness,

No, I'm using established definitions of rape, instead of trying to extend the definition and render it meaningless.  Certain people here are defining rape in some ludicrous ways, not me.

regardless of what the victim thinks. Keeping your definitions straight is apparently more important than accepting a victim's perspective.

Wait, what victim?  Huh?
I honestly don't know what you're saying here.  You can't be suggesting that every actual victim gets to redefine "rape".

If we know someone's an actual victim, then there's already been an investigation and trial, and we know what happened...  They still don't get to change what "rape" means.  Why would they want to?

it doesn't give you any new insight
holy shit

It's a new perspective, not a new insight.  Being involved in something can make it harder to understand the thing.  That's why mediation is a thing, and why people in relationships can be so utterly clueless.

How can we expect people to be rational and reasonable about events which are emotionally excruciating to remember?  That's what prosecutors are for.
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