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Author Topic: Procedural hilarity...  (Read 938 times)

Walkaboutout

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Procedural hilarity...
« on: March 11, 2013, 04:19:38 pm »
Okay, so you may not all find this one as funny as I did. A forgotten beast showed up in the caverns lastnight in my game and he was:

A towering beakless woodpecker....

LOL. So this guy, obviously, slams his ugly, fat, fleshy, beakless face as hard as he possibly can, as fast as he possibly can, against hard wooden surfaces and gets, I would imagine, very little in the way of results.

This is especially funny to me because I live in the boonies, and woodpeckers are the bane of my house and my nerves. 6 am in the morning, you hear this "thunk thunk think" -ing on the eves and corners of the house as some retarded local woodpecker gives the house a test for...well, whatever it is that motivates them to their insanity.

Thought I'd share and maybe give my fellow crazy dorf-ers a laugh.
« Last Edit: March 11, 2013, 04:23:52 pm by Walkaboutout »
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Bavette

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Re: Procedural hilarity...
« Reply #1 on: March 11, 2013, 04:38:40 pm »
I giggled uncontrollably in the office where I work. My boss and colleagues were not amused.
Thank you, sir, you made my job a little bit harder yet far more enjoyable.
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"What is a dwarf? A miserable pile of !FUN!?"

KtosoX

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Re: Procedural hilarity...
« Reply #2 on: March 11, 2013, 05:05:08 pm »
"I giggled uncontrollably..." This XD
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Magistrum

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Re: Procedural hilarity...
« Reply #3 on: March 11, 2013, 05:42:20 pm »
Quote from: Walkaboutout on March 11, 2013, 04:19:38 pm
LOL. So this guy, obviously, slams his ugly, fat, fleshy, beakless face as hard as he possibly can, as fast as he possibly can, against hard wooden surfaces and gets, I would imagine, very little in the way of results.

This probably hurts... a lot.
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In a time before time, I had a name.

GuesssWho

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Re: Procedural hilarity...
« Reply #4 on: March 11, 2013, 06:03:16 pm »
Well, I wouldn't call a concussion little . . .
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Grey_Wolf

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Re: Procedural hilarity...
« Reply #5 on: March 12, 2013, 02:09:17 am »
Urist Mcwoodfacehitter stands before you
"...visitor of a thousand facial reconstruction surgeons! slayer of 22 towercaps in the haunted hills of eviscerating!...prepare to die!"
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Hurkyl

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Re: Procedural hilarity...
« Reply #6 on: March 12, 2013, 04:00:00 am »
Quote from: David The Master on March 11, 2013, 05:42:20 pm
Quote from: Walkaboutout on March 11, 2013, 04:19:38 pm
LOL. So this guy, obviously, slams his ugly, fat, fleshy, beakless face as hard as he possibly can, as fast as he possibly can, against hard wooden surfaces and gets, I would imagine, very little in the way of results.

This probably hurts... a lot.
But he was doing this in the church tower and was stunned when he slammed his face into the bell, and fell to his ground, dead. When Urist comes to haul it to the butcher shop, she thinks "Do I know this creature? It's face sure rings a bell".

It's mate arrives next year to avenge his death, but winds up doing the same thing. While dragging the corpse off to he butchered, Urist reflects "What is this thing? It's a dead ringer for that monster I saw a year ago."
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Bavette

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Re: Procedural hilarity...
« Reply #7 on: March 12, 2013, 08:59:33 am »
Good lord, Armok god of blood...
The pun sure is strong with that one!
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