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[penguinofhonor]

"If you're ever in a stressful situation, just remember our company's colors: gray for stability and slightly darker gray for reliability."
--"Mayfly Acquisitions New Employees Manual" by Billy Mayfly

Turn 8
^{<- Turn 7 | Turn 9 ->}

"Say, do you know what's going on here? Other than the blackout, that is."

You have a nice conversation with the lady from finance and then decide to practice origami since you have nothing else to do. (3) You now have one less written complaint and one more paper airplane.

Pick up work, carry on search.

5. You grab your stuff and head to HR, gracefully stepping over some shark fin thing that crosses paths with you. Luckily there's an empty cubicle nearby. You quickly get working and deny a few requests for computer upgrades from IT and Marketing. 2008 technology is more than recent enough. If you'd had a say, they'd still be using the old 2002 models.

"Hey look, a three headed monkey!" I say as I point behind Lindeman, running away as he looks.
I then start searching the office for any medical supplies, such as pain killers, to heal my wounds.

3. You jump away from Lindeman but your distraction is mostly unconvincing and he swings at you with almost no hesitation. (6-1+1) His fist meets your face, dealing 2 damage and knocking you out. As you fall to the floor and fade into unconsciousness, you see what looks like a shark fin sticking up through the carpet as it turns the corner and moves towards you.

"Er... Um..."
Jake starts thinking up another pun.
"... Your time here is going to be... Barawful?"
He then notices Max distracting him, and hits him with his bar.

Well, Max managed to take a hit for you. (6) You bring the pipe down on Lindeman's back for 3 damage.

Bash fire door open with extinguisher.

2. You don't even manage to dent it. You're not even sure how you'd go about getting through the fire door, since it's several inches of steel with a tiny window. This probably requires more specialized equipment.

Status
Time - 9:00 AM Tuesday Febuary 5 2013

Spoiler: AKingsQuest (click to show/hide)

Name: Max D. Payne
-1/10 HP (unconscious)
Department: HR
Weapon: Broken bottle
Inventory: Empty
Abilities: Sadism

Spoiler: Darvi (click to show/hide)

Name: Ronald X. Brooke
10/10 HP
Department: IT
Inventory: Bag of potato chips, paper airplane
Abilities: Troubleshoot

Spoiler: scapheap (click to show/hide)

Name: Clair R. King
10/10 HP
Department: Finance
Inventory: Turkey sandwich, slice of chocolate cake, teacup, 4 teabags
Abilities: Accounting Degree

Spoiler: borno (click to show/hide)

Name: Jake T. Hallenstein
7/10 HP
Department: HR
Weapon: Iron Bar
Inventory: Empty
Abilities: Sadism

Spoiler: NRDL (click to show/hide)

Name: Jeremiah S. Nix
10/10 HP
Department: Law
Weapon: Fire extinguisher
Inventory: Ham sandwich, police report
Abilities: Skimmer

NPCs

Spoiler: Randy V. Lindeman (click to show/hide)

Department: HR
5/10 HP
Weapon: None
Abilities: Sadism

Spoiler: Shark Thing (click to show/hide)

Department: ?
?/? HP
Attacks: ?
Abilities: ?

[Darvi]

Yay!

Welp, got nothing better to do. Take a walk as to prevent sleep.

[GreatWyrmGold]

Demons(?), employee fights, floor sharks, locked fire doors...Good Lord, OSHA would be spinning in its grave if it saw this. I say "in its grave" because there's no other way Mayfly could still be running otherwise.

[Harry Baldman]

The shark thing has a department.

Why does it have a department!?

[Darvi]

The shark thing has a department.

Why does it have a department!?

U jelly?

[Harry Baldman]

The shark thing has a department.

Why does it have a department!?

U jelly?

It's just that I'd like to join that department.

[Darvi]

I think it would probably be in management. Ask for a promotion.

[Harry Baldman]

Maybe it's the janitor. Would make sense with the work ethic around the office.

[borno]

"Oh yeah! Take that!"
Jake decides to forgo another pun this time, and instead just hits him again.

[GreatWyrmGold]

I think it would probably be in management. Ask for a promotion.

Maybe it's the janitor. Would make sense with the work ethic around the office.

Clearly it is the manager of maintenance.

[AKingsQuest]

WAKE UP

( If someone could help me that would be great. )

[NRDL]

Find a fire axe.

[scapheap]

Go to eat my sandwich, but relised I saw a shark which does not in any of my conspiracy theories and go look for it.

[penguinofhonor]

Since I've finally decided on exactly what's happening here, I'm going to slowly reveal all the things that aren't happening but could have if I had chosen a different direction for the story.

The first idea that I had was that the weird shit was the prelude to an interdimensional plea for help - some people were going to appear and request the player characters' aid on some epic quest in their world. The idea was that interdimensional travel left ripples through space and time near the point of crossing, and some stuff was bleeding through. I found the idea a little bit boring and ditched it before I was finished writing turn 2.

Turn 9
^{<- Turn 8 | Turn 10 ->}

Find a fire axe.

3. You're pretty sure there's one on the floor but you can't remember where. Maybe you should have paid more attention during the fire drills.

"Oh yeah! Take that!"
Jake decides to forgo another pun this time, and instead just hits him again.

2. A swing and a miss. Maybe the catch phrases were helping your aim.

Lindeman decides your failure requires him to think up some sort of pun. "I think it's time to drop the face. Or drop the fist on the face, whatever." Managing that, he (5) drops his fist right on your face for 2 damage.

WAKE UP

4. You grunt and return to consciousness, if just for a little bit. You're likely to get knocked out again by any significant impact. You open your eyes and see a small creature staring at you hungrily, poking halfway out of the carpet.  Its skin shimmers (5) with what look like many tiny words - legal gibberish.

It lunges without warning, (5+1) connecting and dealing 3 damage to you. You feel a tearing pain as it digs its many teeth into your side and fall back into unconsciousness.

Welp, got nothing better to do. Take a walk as to prevent sleep.

3. You get up and walk around IT. There's honestly nothing interesting going on besides that scuffle over in HR (it's really more of a brawl by now) but you don't think you want to deal with it. You do manage to not fall asleep, though.
(2:01:54 AM) penguin: man, darvi keeps rolling 2s and 3s every time he goes to look for plot

Go to eat my sandwich, but relised I saw a shark which does not in any of my conspiracy theories and go look for it.

2. You wander around HR for a minute but can't find out where it went. You'd think it would leave a trail, but the carpet seems to have sealed behind it. Well, it's certainly nowhere near that fight. Probably.

Status
Time - 9:05 AM Tuesday Febuary 5 2013

Spoiler: AKingsQuest (click to show/hide)

Name: Max D. Payne
-4/10 HP (unconscious)
Department: HR
Weapon: Broken bottle
Inventory: Empty
Abilities: Sadism
Status: Loan Shark is attached to him

Spoiler: Darvi (click to show/hide)

Name: Ronald X. Brooke
10/10 HP
Department: IT
Inventory: Bag of potato chips, paper airplane
Abilities: Troubleshoot

Spoiler: scapheap (click to show/hide)

Name: Clair R. King
10/10 HP
Department: Finance
Inventory: Turkey sandwich, slice of chocolate cake, teacup, 4 teabags
Abilities: Accounting Degree

Spoiler: borno (click to show/hide)

Name: Jake T. Hallenstein
5/10 HP
Department: HR
Weapon: Iron Bar
Inventory: Empty
Abilities: Sadism

Spoiler: NRDL (click to show/hide)

Name: Jeremiah S. Nix
10/10 HP
Department: Law
Weapon: Fire extinguisher
Inventory: Ham sandwich, police report
Abilities: Skimmer

NPCs

Spoiler: Randy V. Lindeman (click to show/hide)

Department: HR
5/10 HP
Weapon: None
Abilities: Sadism

Spoiler: Loan Shark (click to show/hide)

It has the head of a lamprey, the body of a shark, and the cold heart of a lawyer. Its skin is made of fine print that scrolls as the it moves.
Department: Law
5/5 HP
Attacks: Lunge
Abilities: Attorney at Maw, Legally Tender, Slippery (fuck you I ran out of puns)
Status: Attached to Max D. Payne

[NRDL]

Find a map of the floor.