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[borno]

"Who's got the sick beats now?"

"Who's gonna get a sick beating now, you mean? That would be you."

"Finally! Now, this'll probably hurt for everyone, BARRING me and Max. Take this!"

"Looks like this one's on the Lindemans."

"Where'd you get that bar? The toilet store?"

"So you're in on his schemes, Payne? I hope you've looked in a mirror lately, because you're going to be in for a whole lot of yourself."

"You better not drive home Lindeman, because you are going to be wasted!"

This thread is full of awful puns.

Oh, I've got much more interesting ways to play with your guys' heads.

Le gasp.

[scapheap]

Filp a coin if head HR, if tail IT, if edge it a sign to take over this place.

[penguinofhonor]

This thread is full of awful puns.

There is no situation in which I will prevent my players from spouting off shitty one-liners.

Turn 7
^{<- Turn 6 | Turn 8 ->}

Eh. Back to cubicle again it is then. Since we're probably gonna get swamped with all sorts of requests after power comes back, I might as well take an early break and eat one of my packets of chips.

Mhhhh, tastes like chicken...

5. You head back to your desk and find that half the IT department is being shut down to extend the life of the generators. Luckily for you, your cubicle is one of the ones staying powered. You open one of your bags of chips and check your email.

Spoiler: Subject: Power Management (click to show/hide)

From: Alexis O. Livingstone, IT Manager
To: IT
We've made the decision to shut down half of IT so the generators can stay on for as long as necessary. If my calculations are correct, we've bought ourselves forty extra minutes and should be able to keep power up until 10:15. This should be more than enough time for maintenance to get past the fire doors.

Other than that one, you've got nothing.

Kick glass, retrieve extinguisher.

5. You kick through the glass and grab the extinguisher. You are now wielding a fire extinguisher (1d3+1 damage, -1 accuracy, two handed, can be sprayed to blind).

"Finally! Now, this'll probably hurt for everyone, BARRING me..."
Jake notices Max assisting him. He nods to his colleague.
"And Max. Take this!"

Code: [Select]

BAR+RANDY=PAIN

3. You swing the bar and only end up denting the wall of your cubicle. The bar is heavier than you thought.

"You better not drive home Lindeman, because you are going to be wasted!" Give him a right hook,
then stab him in the gut with broken bottle.

1. You slip and manage to cut yourself on the bottle, dealing 3 damage to yourself. At least this time your snark was better than your aim.

Lindeman punches you (4) in the jaw, dealing 2 damage. You're not in the best shape.

Filp a coin if head HR, if tail IT, if edge it a sign to take over this place.

You flip the coin and get tails. You decide to take your work to IT (1) but they've shut off most of the lights for some reason and it's too dim to work. As you wander around and look for someplace bright enough, you slip on something and fall backwards, throwing your work everywhere. You look down and see that you slipped on an empty bag of chips.

A nearby IT worker leans out of his cubicle. Something Brooke, you're pretty sure. "Oh, sorry about that," he says.

Status
Time - 8:55 AM Tuesday Febuary 5 2013

Spoiler: AKingsQuest (click to show/hide)

Name: Max D. Payne
1/10 HP
Department: HR
Weapon: Broken bottle
Inventory: Empty
Abilities: Sadism

Spoiler: Darvi (click to show/hide)

Name: Ronald X. Brooke
10/10 HP
Department: IT
Inventory: A bag of potato chips
Abilities: Troubleshoot

Spoiler: scapheap (click to show/hide)

Name: Clair R. King
10/10 HP
Department: Finance
Inventory: Turkey sandwich, slice of chocolate cake, teacup, 4 teabags
Abilities: Accounting Degree

Spoiler: borno (click to show/hide)

Name: Jake T. Hallenstein
7/10 HP
Department: HR
Weapon: Iron Bar
Inventory: Empty
Abilities: Sadism

Spoiler: NRDL (click to show/hide)

Name: Jeremiah S. Nix
10/10 HP
Department: Law
Weapon: Fire extinguisher
Inventory: Ham sandwich, police report
Abilities: Skimmer

NPCs

Spoiler: Randy V. Lindeman (click to show/hide)

Department: HR
8/10 HP
Weapon: None
Abilities: Sadism

[scapheap]

Pick up work, carry on search.

[Harry Baldman]

Waitlist, if at all possible.

Spoiler: Martin M. Marigold (click to show/hide)

Name: Martin M. Marigold
How would your co-workers describe you? An emaciated individual that seems to actually live in the office, speak purely in frenzied mutters and get up to god knows what in that corner cubicle of his. Some say he participates in mortal combat with the janitors over the right to get into his cubicle every night, though other sources claim that that's utter silliness and the combat is almost exclusively nonlethal at all times. The cameras don't really have that area in their field of vision, so it's hard to say for sure.
Department: Finance
Where do you see yourself in five years? Still employed, still keeping the place afloat and, most importantly, still undefeated.
What you brought for lunch today, or if you plan on going out to eat. Nothing, since he doesn't ever leave the office as far as the common worker knows. His lunch is usually scavenged from unattended leftovers. Today it is a half-eaten chicken sandwich. It looks better than his usual fare.

[Darvi]

"Say, do you know what's going on here? Other than the blackout, that is."

[penguinofhonor]

Darvi and Scapheap can talk freely in-thread since they're next to each other. This won't take up your action.

[scapheap]

"The boss is a demon as I thought, other than that no."

[Darvi]

"I don't think you mean that literally, do you?"
*pause*
"Do you?"

[scapheap]

"He is, but as long as I get payed he could be Hitler for all I care." she pauses "Head of Human Resources by the way. The toothbrush thing is a dead give away."

[AKingsQuest]

"Hey look, a three headed monkey!" I say as I point behind Lindeman, running away as he looks.
I then start searching the office for any medical supplies, such as pain killers, to heal my wounds.

[Darvi]

"I see. Just your average manager then."

[penguinofhonor]

I've decided to keep the first five people on the waitlist written down in the OP, as well as some instructions for waitlisters. Right now we just have two people.

[borno]

"Er... Um..."
Jake starts thinking up another pun.
"... Your time here is going to be... Barawful?"
He then notices Max distracting him, and hits him with his bar.

[NRDL]

Bash fire door open with extinguisher.