This thread is full of awful puns.
There is no situation in which I will prevent my players from spouting off shitty one-liners.
Turn 7<- Turn 6 | Turn 8 ->Eh. Back to cubicle again it is then. Since we're probably gonna get swamped with all sorts of requests after power comes back, I might as well take an early break and eat one of my packets of chips.
Mhhhh, tastes like chicken...
5. You head back to your desk and find that half the IT department is being shut down to extend the life of the generators. Luckily for you, your cubicle is one of the ones staying powered. You open one of your bags of chips and check your email.
From: Alexis O. Livingstone, IT Manager
To: IT
We've made the decision to shut down half of IT so the generators can stay on for as long as necessary. If my calculations are correct, we've bought ourselves forty extra minutes and should be able to keep power up until 10:15. This should be more than enough time for maintenance to get past the fire doors.
Other than that one, you've got nothing.
Kick glass, retrieve extinguisher.
5. You kick through the glass and grab the extinguisher. You are now wielding a fire extinguisher (1d3+1 damage, -1 accuracy, two handed, can be sprayed to blind).
"Finally! Now, this'll probably hurt for everyone, BARRING me..."
Jake notices Max assisting him. He nods to his colleague.
"And Max. Take this!"
BAR+RANDY=PAIN
3. You swing the bar and only end up denting the wall of your cubicle. The bar is heavier than you thought.
"You better not drive home Lindeman, because you are going to be wasted!" Give him a right hook,
then stab him in the gut with broken bottle.
1. You slip and manage to cut yourself on the bottle, dealing 3 damage to yourself. At least this time your snark was better than your aim.
Lindeman punches you (4) in the jaw, dealing 2 damage. You're not in the best shape.
Filp a coin if head HR, if tail IT, if edge it a sign to take over this place.
You flip the coin and get tails. You decide to take your work to IT (1) but they've shut off most of the lights for some reason and it's too dim to work. As you wander around and look for someplace bright enough, you slip on something and fall backwards, throwing your work everywhere. You look down and see that you slipped on an empty bag of chips.
A nearby IT worker leans out of his cubicle. Something Brooke, you're pretty sure. "Oh, sorry about that," he says.
StatusTime - 8:55 AM Tuesday Febuary 5 2013
Name: Max D. Payne
1/10 HP
Department: HR
Weapon:
Broken bottleInventory: Empty
Abilities:
SadismName: Ronald X. Brooke
10/10 HP
Department: IT
Inventory: A bag of potato chips
Abilities:
TroubleshootName: Clair R. King
10/10 HP
Department: Finance
Inventory: Turkey sandwich, slice of chocolate cake, teacup, 4 teabags
Abilities:
Accounting DegreeName: Jake T. Hallenstein
7/10 HP
Department: HR
Weapon:
Iron BarInventory: Empty
Abilities:
SadismName: Jeremiah S. Nix
10/10 HP
Department: Law
Weapon:
Fire extinguisherInventory: Ham sandwich,
police reportAbilities:
SkimmerNPCs
Department: HR
8/10 HP
Weapon: None
Abilities:
Sadism