FFS TRAINING SHEEP CAN'T HELP YOU NOWTEAR AT THE SEAMS 'TILL YOU COME UNDONE
INTERPRET CRIMSON FLOW'S REQUIREMENT TO MEAN "AT LEAST" ONE HP, CAST ON BUG
Actually, eviscerate Giant Fireball when she gets here. Interpret Crimson Flow's requirement to mean "at least" one HP, and cast on Giant Fireball.
You interpret "at 1 HP" to mean "at least 1 HP" and strike!
[5+2][2+2][3+2]vs[2-2][4-2][5-2] You EVISCERATE your targets, which you interpret to mean all targets at 1 HP. Meaning at least 1 HP.
You gut yourself and then gut everyone else with your blood, is the short version.
Upper Snail: [5+2][2+2][6+2]vs[4][4][4]
Lower Snail: [4+2][1+2][5+2]vs[4][4][4]
Silverfish: [2+2][6+2][6+2]vs[5][4][2]
You badly savage the two snails and silverfish with your bodily fluids. Each takes 2 damage. You take 3, and are dead. You also interpreted "when she gets here" to "in the order of posting," so her and everyone with her is fine.
Go back and rest. Nothing like having 0 HP to make you feel tired.
You're dead.
But you're not in the corpse pile.
Damn it.
You rest. You suspect you shall be resting quite some time without assistance.
>OVERKILL HYPERDEATH DOOMY MAGIC GHOST MAGICIAN!!! OF OVERKILLIDEATHDOOM!!!: CHAAAAARGE ONWARDS INTO THE NEXT ROOM! Drop the Spectral Pants-Hats on the Chosen One on the way out and grab the robes from the Overkill Magician corpse instead.
Also, you can TOTALLY laser the walls!
>OHDMGM!!!OO!!!:Correct spelling in previous update!
You attempt to pry your hants off, but they remain firmly attached.
You fly into the next room and laser the walls.
[5]vs[5] They're really pretty sturdy.
[1][2]vs[4][4] You also laser the snails but not very well.
[6]vs[5] You laser the silverfish much better! It loses 1 HP.
Your editorial attempts are met with derision and scorn.
Punch fourth wall.
It punches you back.
Trigger Etheral Cacophony four times in a single turn due to backlog, living up to it's name.
Uhhhhhhh
[3][1]:[3][6]:[5][4]:[3][4]
Yourself: [4][4][6][1] You heal 1 HP. This is bad.
Prettiest Pugilist: [4][5][6][3] Prettiest Pugilist heals 2 HP. This is good!
Resilient Necromancer: [2][2][4][2] Resilient Necromancer takes 1 damage, takes and heals 1 damage, takes another point of damage, and then takes and heals another point of damage. This totals to 2 damage total, and is bad.
Lost and Confused: [3][1][6][1] L&C heals a point of damage, heals and takes a point of damage, cycles, heals and takes another point of damage, and cycles again. She's pretty weird that way.
Chosen One:
[5][5][5][2] Chosen One takes a point of damage, then heals and takes a point of damage. Chosen One has no defenses whatsoever, and so automatically takes and recovers a point of damage four times.
Buff Man: [1][6][2][2] Buff Man takes a point of damage, then takes and heals two more.
Unearthly Hypnotist: HUEHUEHUEHUE, NO ESCAPING DEATH NOW! [6][2][2][3] Unearthly Hypnotist heals a point of damage, takes and heals a point of damage, then heals another point of damage for 2 HP total.
DAMN IT
Giant Fireball: [6][6][2][6] Giant Fireball takes and heals a point of damage.
Wander about asking every what is going on the what why where?
Do the thing to that thing that did the stuff that made me want to do the thing with the stuff to the thing that I DONT KNOW WHATS GOING ON SO ILL JUST DO SOMETHING THAT SEEMS LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME RIGHT?
NOW YOU'RE CYCLING AND TAKING BUT ALSO HEALING DAMAGE THIS IS MAKING THINGS WORSE NOT BETTER
Hrmm, my new friend must be hungry, and a growing bug needs its vitamins! Is that some spare, slightly cooked meat lying on the ground that recently ceased to be owned by anyone? I, for one, have no intention of being known as someone who left a mess behind when they were questing!
Your new silverfish starts cracking open your "friends'" corpses and eating their hearts. Your new friend seems pretty hardcore.
Hrmm, my new friend must be hungry, and a growing bug needs its vitamins! Is that some spare, slightly cooked meat lying on the ground that recently ceased to be owned by anyone? I, for one, have no intention of being known as someone who left a mess behind when they were questing!
Overkill Magician.
Anyways, save Blood Stabber by rushing forward and setting fire to everything. Yes, everything.
Gosh, you WOULD, but Blood Stabber just stabbed the everloving shit out of herself and most of the room trying to kill you.
So you do the only thing you can do, which is set fire to everything anyway.
[5+6] Yeah nothing's getting out of this. The snails die, the silverfish takes damage, you take damage. You lose 2 HP, silverfish loses 1 HP, both snails die. It's a massacre.
Again.
P.S.
Middle bug is renamed to Silverfish.
Duly noted!
FORWARD WE MUST FIST
[5]vs[1] You punch the silverfish right in its stupid face. It loses 1 HP.
Confusing Time-Traveler
Time-Traveler is still one word because of the hypen in the middle.
LIGHT BLUE
1HP 5MP
You arrive. JUST IN TIME!
You consider honorable suicide over that one, but figure you might as well go for the high score instead.
Corpse Pile
Sickly Green
0 HP 6 MP
Having learned nothing, you saunter on in. Oh hey, everyone's dead.
((I'm going to hope that Ribcage Dress is actually a defensive item...))
If possible, RAISE DA DEAD. Or one of them, at least. As a zombie. If not, let's Spectral Redshirt Unearthly Hypnotists.
Sorry, no can do at this level of skill. You shield Unearthly Hypnotist, though he's looking pretty swag as is.
Spontaneously exist, be instantly annihilated by antimatter version of self, emit one gamma ray
[1]vs[5] This was a weird experiment.
The last silverfish decides to eat Giant Fireball's face. [3+3]vs[6] It's alarmingly good at this, but Giant Fireball narrowly manages to live regardless. With its allies slain or traitorous and its foes numerous and absent-minded, it retreats to hone its skill and atone for its failure.
This allows you all to move on to the grassy tiny little village filled with tiny little winged people. They look and sound happy to see you!
"The guardians have fallen!""All hope is lost!""They will surely devour and enslave us all!"So maybe not, like, as happy to see you as you are to see them, but still.
There are enough fairies for everyone to get one! You may:
Devour your fairy to consume its delicious essence
Ensconce your fairy to keep it as a living tool
Enslave your fairy to use it as a battle slave
Befriend your fairy to treat it as an equal partner
Unearthly Specter (Derm)
Transparent/Transparent
-5/-6 HP
12/12 MP
-
Spectral Wand: 1d6, -1d6 Damage
Tattered Shroud: Nothing!
Ethereal Cacophony: [1MP] 1d6, -1d6 Damage for everyone!
Prettiest Pugilist (Elephant)
Pink/Red
3/6 HP
0/0 MP
-
Rosepetal Gauntlets: 1d6 Damage [Both Weapon and Armor]
Rosepetal Gauntlets: 1d6 Defense [Allows nonArmor Item in Armor Slot]
Red Victory Headband: On death, recover all HP and Headband dissolves
Pretty Power Punch Attack: [1HP] 2d6 Damage to yourself and target.
Corpse Pile (Empiricist)
Sickly Green
0/0 HP
6/6 MP
-
Rotwand: 1d6 Damage, +1 vs targets at 1 HP
Plague Shroud: 1d6 Defense, +3 while at 1 HP (HAHAHAHAHA)
Bileshock: [1MP] [1d6]x2 damage to target below full health.
Confusing Time-Traveler (Execute)
Light Blue
1/1 HP
5/5 MP
-
Overwind: 1d6 Damage, attack second target on kill
Loopy Hauberk: 1d6 Defense, reroll to try again on being killed
Overclock: [1MP] Grant ally second action. They also take any attacks or other effects twice that turn.
Resilient Necromancer (FallacyofUrist)
Black/White
1/3 HP
2/3 MP
-
Bone Staff: 1d6 Damage, Heal 1 HP on kill
Ribcage Dress: 1d6 Defense, Heal 1 HP on kill
Spectral Redshirt: [1 MP] Enchant target with 1 HP shield.
Lost and Confused (Lenglon)
Orange/Blue
(2/2):(3/3):!(3/3)!:(2/2) HP
(1/1):(0/0):(0/0):(1/1) MP
-
Flickering Gauntlets: 1d6 Damage, Cycle on dealing damage
Flickering Robes: 1d6 Defense, Cycle on taking damage
Halcyon: [1 MP] Cycle to and unleash an effect based on selected Cycle
Chosen One (RAM)
YellowPurpleGreenGarish
2/2 HP
3/4 MP
-
Chosen Sword: 1d6 Damage, +1 HP on kill
Righteous Smite: [1MP] 2d6 Damage, you take 1 damage if the attack fails.
OHDMGHOO (TheBiggerFish)
Octarine/Transparent/Crackling
-?/-? HP
0/? MP
-
Ghastly Stuffed Walrus: [1d6]x3 Damage, autocast PREL on kill
Spectral Pants-Hats: 1d6 Defense, recover all HP on recovering all MP
PERFECTLY REASONABLE EYE LASERS: [All MP]: 1d6 Damage to 1d6 random targets for the next 1d6 rounds, recover all MP on kill
Buff Man (TherosPherae)
Pink/Pink
1/6 HP
0/0 MP
-
MANLY FISTS: 1d6 Damage, +1 per 2 points of HP missing
MANLY PECTORALS: 1d6 Defense, +1HP on taking 2 or more damage from one attack action
BUTTERFLY SUPLEX: [1HP] 2d6 Damage, -2 for each HP the target is missing.
Unearthly Hypnotist (Whisperling)
Blue/White
2[+1]/2 HP
4/4 MP
-
Mesmerizing Wand: 1d6 Damage, on kill target attacks target of your choice before dying
Swirling Garb: 1d6 Defense, +2 if at 1 HP
OOPS: [1MP] 1d6+3 Damage, on hit target attacks target of your choice instead of taking damage
Giant Fireball (WormArmy)
Rainbow/Rainbow
1/6 HP
0/0 MP
-
Maniac's Wand: 1d6 Damage to self and up to two enemies.
Maniac's Cloak: 1d6 Defense, +1 per 2 HP missing
ULTRA: [1HP] 2d6 Damage to everything. Yes, everything.
Blood Stabber (Egan_BW)
Red/Red
0/5 HP
1/1 MP
-
Bloody Spear: 1d6+2 Damage [+1 Damage, -1 Defense]
Bloody Hauberk: 1d6-2 Defense [+1 Damage, -1 Defense]
Crimson Flow: [1MP] Only useable against targets at 1 HP, [1d6+2]x3 Damage.
Explosive Decompression (Lenglon)
Purple/Black
-1/1 HP
1/5 MP
-
Eldritch Hand Cannon: 1d6 Damage, +1 MP on kill
Lamenter's Raiment: 1d6 Defense, on death deal 3d6 Damage to everyone
Cosmic Burst: [2MP] [1d6]x3 Damage, +1 MP on kill
Angry Boot (ShadowHammer)
Pink/Black
-2/0 HP
5/6 MP
-
Furious Boots: [1d6-1]x2 Damage
Leather Getup: 1d6 Defense, on death receive free final action
Raging Roundhouse: [1MP] 2d6 Damage
Overkill Magician (TheBiggerFish)
Octarine/Black
-1/1 HP
0/5 MP
-
Steel Spiked Beatstick: [1d6]x2 Damage, +1MP per point of damage on kill
Sickening Robes: 0 Defense, double weapon Damage
Utmost Incantation of Cruel Crimson Murder: [All MP] [1d6+(MP Spent)]x(MP Spent) Damage