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Game-Breakingly

Very

Moderately

Just a Little

Not at All

[Greenstarfanatic]

((Oh, and just to point out to whoever it was talking about it, the plural of 'Dummkopf' is 'Dummköpfe', not 'Dummkopfs'.))

[+!!scientist!!+]

((Oh, and just to point out to whoever it was talking about it, the plural of 'Dummkopf' is 'Dummköpfe', not 'Dummkopfs'.))

((I am ashamed, sorry.))

[Aseaheru]

continue screaming about never having my turn be used

That's because you're not posting turns...

I post turns. they are the only thing i post...
except this.

[Wwolin]

continue screaming about never having my turn be used

That's because you're not posting turns...

I post turns. they are the only thing i post...
except this.

I haven't seen any, although it may be because they're either unbolded or using some light text that I cannot see without highlighting. But I haven't seen any since you set that heartfish on Petipor.

[Aseaheru]

Ah. Allright. I was just trying to charge back in and perhaps bleed on them but... now im going to Bandage loss or hand, look for a replacement.

[GreatWyrmGold]

Clever! Instead of complaining about those turns never being used, you post a turn so that there's something to use!

[Aseaheru]

I posted previous turns. same exact turn. that being go bleed on the people or something.

[Greenstarfanatic]

Lemme straighten this out.

THIS:

YUKKURICHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Craig stands in a super badass pose that would make even the greatest hitmen shrivel in fear, all due to the loss of his soon-to-be-wife-for-20-dollars Yukkuri.
I will destroy you Sir Iron Bluud, even if I must become HELP THE STRONGEST LOLI ON THE PLANET!
Become the lolis. Find Osborn. Defeat his (Osborn's) attackers with super gangsta pistol abilities.

Well, you have a hunch that Osborn's on top of that gigantic dragon. However, you're completely clueless as to how to get up there.

Kordos picks up the shotgun. Oh, yeah, that's more like it. This will do nicely.

He looks at the people spawned around him.

"Listen up, folks! I'm here to take down a low-down snake slithering around these parts that goes by the name of Osborn. If any of you folks feel like following with me to find something to help take him down, it would be much appreciated. Otherwise, please stay out of my way. I don't want to hurt anybody, but if you feel a need to attack me or anyone in my nearby vicinity, I will blow your brains out."

Kordos will try to gather up a posse to find artifacts to help take down Osborn. If anyone nearby attacks him or an innocent person, he will empty a barrel or two (or maybe even three) on them. If he manages to gather up a posse, or even if he doesn't, but he doesn't have to open some barrels on someone, he will take of in some random direction in search of a dungeon.

Locate someone who looks like an easy, lonely target (maybe Nicholas's character). Throw the vial at them.

here, have a gift.

Wait for Darius to dispose of his vial, then shoot him with an arrow.

((It's anyone's guess what this will do.))

(Kordos dex: 6+5)
(Darius dex: 3+3)
(Raynen dex: 5+3)

(Kordos dex: 6+5)
(Darius dex: 3+3)
(Darius end: 4+2)

Darius makes as if to toss his vial at Raynen, but in less than the blink of an eye Kordos blows the villain's face clean off with a triple-barrel blast from the shotgun.

DARIUS IS DEAD!
(Kordos luk: 5+3)

As Darius' lifeless body crumples to the ground, a long spear drops from the sky onto the corpse, sticking into it like a flagpole. The weapon almost seems to be alive with a primal energy, and even now Darius' corpse changes into a viscous black gel, with small green emerald-like gems embedded in it.

TURN AROUND AND CHARGE THE CREEPS. USE HEART THING IF I CAN.

"Fuck you, sharky-boy, I'll give you iron poisoning."
Fire, again, at Ushil, unless the shark is stupid enough to munch metal. Attempt to completely empty my gun of bullets. Reload afterwards.

"What the? ALGEM, keep shooting the witch."

Attack the beast

(Heartswimmer dex: 1+3)
(ALGEM dex: 5+1)
(Annie dex: 4+6-3)
(Nekik dex: 5+4)
(Ushil dex: 1)
(Petipor dex: 1)

(Nekik dex: 2+4)
(Annie dex: 2+6-3)
(Ushil dex: 1)
(Nekik str: 6+4)
(Annie end: 6+6)
(Nekik str: 6+4)
(Ushil aff: 4+4)

(Annie dex: 3+6-3)
(Petipor dex: 2)
(Annie str: 5+3)
(Petipor end: 3+6)

(ALGEM dex: 4+1)
(Petipor dex: 5)
(ALGEM dex: 3+1)
(Petipor dex: 5)
(Algem dex: 2+1)
(Petipor dex: 6)

(B0B aff: 4+6)
(Heartfish dex: 3+3)
(Petipor dex: 4)
(Heartfish str: 6+2)
(Petipor end: 5+6)

(Petipor dex: 1+4)
(Annie dex: 3+3-3)

With the grace of an expert swordsman, Nekik leaps through the air with his blades like outstretched wings, slashing Annie and Ushil with full force. While Annie's armor protects her from the attack, Nekik's second blade tears right through his sister's ice wall, forming a crimson bloom of ice as the blade cuts her clean in two.
"I'm sure that Father will have a word or two for her in the afterlife, witch. As for you, succubus, perhaps you would like to forfeit this duel? While I would most enjoy a fair fight to the death, Petipor will surely devour us both if we do not focus all of our attention on it."
Annie contemplates these words before lunging at Petipor with her knife, but the blade merely bounces off of the monster's huge head as if it were solid stone. ALGEM also fires off a volley of several shots at the beast, but every single one goes wide, leaving her gun glowing like a lightning bug as it slowly recharges. B0B and his heart-monster head back into the room, and raising his pipe to his mouth with his good hand, the indescribable entity sends his piranha-like minion to attack Petipor. Unfortunately, the flurry of teeth is little more than a massage for the great shark, and the beast actually purrs slightly before sending its tongue at Annie, who barely manages to roll out of the way.

"help me... Please." Try to heal myself

Damn low affinity hurt.

"help me... Please." Try to heal myself

Damn low affinity hurt.

i was tempted to steal your weapon and walk away... then i realised i had negative 6 affinity and im not keen on instantly vaporising myself again.

attempt to patch this guy up, if we both fail shoot him in the head and walk away with my new loots.
((im gonna try to help you first but i doubt you can recover from acute pulped-lowerbody-itis so if/when we fail ill shoot so that you can instantly respawn without long bleeding out processes.))

Seeing as how there's really nothing short of magic that can repair a wound like that, Rozar mercy-kills Cello Guy with a single bullet through the brain.

CELLO GUY IS DEAD!
(Rozar luk: 2)

A stiff breeze blows through the temple, carrying with it a perfectly ordinary baseball cap. On the bill is written "I mercy-killed someone, and all I got was this stupid hat".

Try to reason with them.

Through INTERPRETIVE DANCE!

((WE'RE ON AN ADVENTUUUUURE!))

(Gunner whim: Critical Neutral) Critical neutral is a thing, and a beautiful one at that...

Your interpretive dancing doesn't seem to get much of a point across, but at least they're laughing too hard to aim weapons at you. Some of the younger ones even try to imitate you, and a few of them even seem to be good at it.

(So did I spawn somewhere?)

(Did you read the last part of Wwolin's post? The five of us just spawned in the spawn area.)

(Didnt see that, thanks)
Leave the spawn area and look around, stab anything that threatens me

No! It's mine, you bastards, mine! Don't touch it!

Defend my anvil from all who threaten it! Or look at it funny! Or are near it!

(Varen dex: 3+1)
(Grungson dex: 4+6-4)

(Grungson dex: 3+6-4)
(Varen dex: 1+1)
(Grungson str: 2-6+4)
(Varen end: 6-4)

(Varen dex: 6+1)
(Grungson dex: 3+6-4)
(Varen str: 4+1)
(Grungson end: 3+6+4)
(Varen aff: 2+4)
(Grungson str: 3-6+4)

Varen tries to exit the spawn area, but is interrupted by the massive construct of eldritch light and bone that is Grungson, who lunges at him with a mighty drill-fist. While the attack hits Varen square in the chest, it merely glances away without so much as tearing the mage's robes. Varen strikes back with his dagger, and while the blade completely and utterly fails to damage Grungson, the red ribbon on the hilt grows into a strong spiderweb of red magic which ensnares the war-machine like a trapped fly.

... They're probably scared of the dragon. Hmm, I wonder what Alena's doing?
Go and search for Alena, following the way she last went.

You hear Alena laughing somewhere close by, and you follow the sound to a nearby building where she seems to be teaching a group of well-armed villagers how to dougie.

"I AM YOUR MASTER, BOW BEFORE ME! Why am I your master? BECAUSE I CAN KILL YOU, BUT YOU CAN'T KILL ME AND LIVE! I HAVE DEFEATED MAGES, WARRIORS, SHARPSHOOTERS, CRUSADERS, DARK LORDS, AND IF DEATH WERE A GIRL, I'VE KILLED HER... TWICE! EVEN IF, SOMEHOW, YOU PUNY LITTLE INSECTS COULD KILL ME, YOUR VERY EXISTENSE IS TIED TO MY LIFE, SO THAT THE MOMENT MY RAMPAGE ENDS, SO DOES YOURS! You will work for ME, because its the only way your staying alive!

See if they buy it. If they don't, resort to fists and hope my armor is as resistant to their attacks as normal.

As you begin to list your kills, the insect-men begin to back up slowly, before turning around and hurling themselves off of the tower while chittering frantically. You think that perhaps you overdid it a little, before turning around and noticing a gargantuan bugman standing behind you. Standing maybe twenty feet tall, it looks down at you and speaks slowly in some foreign tongue, each precisely enunciated syllable dripping with an almost tangible amount of malice.
"Yui ora kuur su corr ik emkacsk vimae. I roqa cuka su srek vurrd kaadems o buud, bis I krorr crikr aeui vrara aeui ksomd ek aeui du mus dmaar bakura ka.
With this, a great lance composed entirely of living locusts forms in its hand, and it points this at your face, waiting for you to react.

((Why did I roll for badassery?))
"Hmmmmm.... Okay."
Acting like I belong, go try to examine/help fix the harpoon gun.
((I really hope this airship has some badass weaponry on it!))

(Squitange aff: 4+3)

Climbing aboard the airship by means of a rope ladder, you find yourself on a large rectangular wooden platform about the size of a football field, which seems to be the top deck. Sacks of gunpowder are strewn haphazardly about, and all sorts of weapons are mounted on to the port and starboard sides, ranging from canons to ballistae to something that looks like some unholy cross between a laser and a tesla coil. You notice a group of men who must be engineers gathered around a harpoon gun on the port side, and as you approach you notice that the weapon has a hand-shaped indent into which the men are hastily pouring gunpowder into. You shove them aside and place your hand into this slot, causing the harpoon loaded into the gun to spin rapidly as several gears click into place and begin to turn furiously. The engineers simply shrug and walk off, but the man from before who called you onto the ship gives you a hearty pat on the back before calling out to everyone.
"ALRIGHT, THE GUN'S WORKING AGAIN, AND WE HAVE ENOUGH FUEL TO MAKE IT THE REST OF THE WAY TO PALOVIA. EVERYONE, BE PRODUCTIVE; THESE WEAPONS AREN'T GONNA SHIP THEMSELVES!"
Several of the men rush down a set of stairs leading to the belly of the ship, while others run up to man the guns. You feel the ship quake slightly as a set of gigantic twin balloons inflate below the ship, and soon the vessel is aloft, sailing above the stormy-grey clouds like a true ship sails above the waves.

Lucky turns his head as he's running to look at the massive book dragon. "Ah.... Aurwyn.... I think all we did was piss it off!" He says and then runs even faster away from the dragon. "Hey you wouldn't happen to have any ideas on how to get out of this situation would you? 'Cause I'm running out of ideas." Evil Lucky asks the golden girl he's carrying.

Keep on running faster while looking for a cave or alcove or any kind of cover from the dragon. Ask Aurwyn if she has any good ideas. Follow whatever idea she has and if she can't come up with anything, give her my watch and tell her to use it on the dragon. Hopefully she has better luck with it then I ever did.

(Lucky dex: 5-1)
(Bookwyrm dex: 1-4)

(Lucky luk: 6+5)

(Bookwyrm str: 15)


As the bookwyrm begins to charge, you spot a large cave in the side of a steep cliff and rush inside, shifting Aurwyn on your shoulder so that she's piggybacking instead of being carried like a sack of flour. Suddenly, the entire mountain seems to quake as the bookwyrm throws its full bulk against it, collapsing the mouth of the cave completely and trapping you in pitch darkness except for the emerald searchlights provided by Aurwyn's glowing eyes. Well, looks like you're not going to be going back that way...

Are you kidding me? Did Osborn just become Sephiroth? xD
Look for a microphone or something to hook up to the the Doom-Base so I may use it to project my voice to ALL
Oh, I know just what to say, too!

Examining the gigantic speaker-on-a-pole, you notice a microphone protruding out of the pole part, which you could probably use to yell at people.

DA FUNK SPAWNS!
(Da Funk luk: 1-1)

Digging through his pockets, Da Funk realizes that in his hurry to be reborn, he must have forgotten his waiver somewhere... that could be a problem.

Is the last turn you posted an action for.

After the next turn, you posted THIS:

Anyone want to tell me what im doing or am i still running around clutching where my hand was?
also, why have my last two moves been ignored?

And proceeded to not post an action. What you just posted was your first action since the turn above.

[GreatWyrmGold]

He's right about one thing: He's been posting the same thing every turn.

[Wwolin]

I'm really sorry about not being able to get an update in this weekend, but I've only just returned from a band concert that I had to play in, and I have to write an 8-page outline for a 20-page research paper tonight, so I've been a bit pressed for time. But I should be able to get one up tomorrow, provided that no random project appears to ruin my day.

[GreatWyrmGold]

No hard feelings.

Hey, if you're feeling a bit short on looting action and/or want to see your action in ASCII, head on over to The Islands of Misery, where the waitlist is wearing thin.

[Wwolin]

Aaaaaand random project has appeared to ruin my day... But on the bright side, my sheer awesomeness has caused a group of children to legitimately wonder if I am a god. Now, to see if I can get a gang of seven-year olds to write turns for me as a religious obligation...

[GreatWyrmGold]

I wouldn't try. They're 7-year-olds, I'm not sure if they'd understand what to do and the quality would almost certainly decrease.

...Out of curiosity, what did you do?

[Persus13]

I wouldn't try. They're 7-year-olds, I'm not sure if they'd understand what to do and the quality would almost certainly decrease.

...Out of curiosity, what did you do?

Same here. Also I know what project you are talking about

[Wwolin]

I wouldn't try. They're 7-year-olds, I'm not sure if they'd understand what to do and the quality would almost certainly decrease.

...Out of curiosity, what did you do?

Same here. Also I know what project you are talking about

I'm not entirely sure... I was just babysitting like 15 kids and being a general good-guy, and then all of a sudden they begin to discuss whether or not I'm a god, and finally decide that I am. Now I have that little cult, as well as the group of little girls at my grandmother's church who believe me to be an angel. I guess I just have a thing for being mistaken for various divinities by children. And the turn will be up in a couple of hours; I just have to get something to eat.