I MUST update tonight! MUST! NOT! RUIN! PERFECT! RECORD!
Even if it ruins my REM sleep!
This is actually on time!
Well, dang it.
My record is finally gone.
But I will rebuild it!
Damn it, Chrome, why did you crash, taking 2/3 of the turn with it and making me redo the turn on Firefox?
Early turn, record safe!
Almost-forgotten turn, record in jeopardy!
More or less on time.
Gain bonus
Ah, yes. That's worked so well for, say, Doomblade.
[5] You get a +2 bonus.
Attack the final boss
[5-106v2+100] You strengthen Furtakarcichlordandrandomprisonertoo; I assume that's what you meant? POLL TRIGGERED
Yay.... well time to follow the commands of my Voices.
Look for something more powerful then the explosives. Chuck that the giant hat guy! Once again aim for the hole.
[2] You find nothing of use. [4] You spit quite accurately into the hole.
Fail to get a +150 bonus.
Okay.
WAHAHA! FEAR THE WRATH OF A MAGICAL FAN GIRL!
Feed these metaphorical flames and recruit my golem's golem as well! Dungeon crawlers for the dungeon!
[3] "Do you offer dental?"
"...You're a golem."
"Irrelevant."
Fire the other one at Persus13.
[1] random.org must think you suck, you know that? You broke the other gun, too.
Make friends with the demonic magic girls again
[6+3v6+2+12+1] The demonic magic girls
"make friends" with you. Friendship hurts.
CAST CONFUSION AGAIN
[6] You confuse yourself!
WAHAHA! FEAR THE WRATH OF A MAGICAL FAN GIRL!
Feed these metaphorical flames and recruit my golem's golem as well! Dungeon crawlers for the dungeon!
No! This is my dungeon! I do not want to incur UristMcBossGuy's wrath!
Summon hatlings inside the dungeon and have them stop that guy's action!
[1+2] You summon two Hatlings.
BOSS TURN:
Furtakarcichlordandrandomprisonertoo [4+100v2] squashes superBLAST.
The research assistants [1v1+3] are contained by 239.
Terry [4+3v1] wrestles Spinal_Taper to death.
The World Golem reminds everyone that it is everyone's leader, and to therefore stop fighting.
Zoe Jackson [6] summons a candy monster! Somehow!
The Martians [4] finish their rock grinder!
The Mythbusters [1] explode something important.
IF YOU WERE SKIPPED, YOU PROBABLY DIED.
No faction leader may have a faction leader bonus greater than half the number of the leader's followers.
Familiars and other weak minions always die with the faction, unless tied closely to the master.
One action per turn.
If you want to make sure your bonus is accounted for, speak up.
Infinite Featureless Plane of Death
Furtakarcichlordandrandomprisonertoo (+100)
Unharmed
Hats for Blood
Furtaka shoved in orifice
Pufferfish is an internal dungeon, taken care of by TopHat
Minions:
Corai
Pufferfish
TopHat
Aluminum Foil and Penny Golem
Ultra Hatlings (100)
Leader: World Golem (+8, +1 from Faction)
scapheap, Sailor Baator (+3); Pokemon: Pikachu
100 Animal Mascots (+1)
Black Tiger
Captain America (+2)
Random Drunk Girl
Pistachio (+1), GraveHaunter's Daughter, a twice-orphaned Froslass; Pokemon: Self, Abra
SCP-239 (+3)
Superman (+2)
LEADER: HEAD DEATH (+??)
Persus13, Immortal? (-106), Missing Fingers, Death of Getting Glared At Angrily By a Giant Salamander
Death of Universes Suddenly Ending
Doomblade (-5)
Empiricist, Severed Head
LordSlowpoke (Confused!)
Spinal_Taper, Dead Former Crippled Cybernetic Hermaphroditic Improper Fraction Actress/Singer/Etc, Current Drunken Guy in a Bathrobe, In Japan
superBLAST, mush
Xantalos, Flattened Blown Up Complete Monster Downplayed Evil Genius Dignityless Maxwell Smart Former Smug Snake Former Clown (+2)
Adam Savage
Agent [REDACTED], wearing NSCP-007 (+1)
Alexander Hamilton
Allosausus (current President)
Ash Ketchum (+4 for Plot-Critical Actions) (Pokemon: Who Knows?)
Atlas (+2)
Benjamin Franklin (+1)
Cthulhu (+3)
13 Demonic Magical Girls (+2)
Gyarados (+2); Pokemon: Alakazam (+2), Charizard (+2), Dragonite (+1), Snorlax (+1), Starmie (+1)
5,000 Hatlings
Jamie Heineman
Jane Freaking Goodall
1,868,668 assorted Magical Girl fans
Martians (2)
Napoleon Blownapart
NPC!da_nang (+1)
NPC!Xantalos (+2)
NPC!Xantalos (+2)
NPC!Xantalos (+2)
NPC!Xantalos (+2)
12 Research Assistants
Pope
President Bush (the second)
President Kerry
President Lincoln
President Jackson (+1)
President Roosevelt (the first) (+2)
President Washington
Terry
Thomas Jefferson
Ursula (+3)
William Shakespeare
Zeus (+3)
Zoe Jackson
[/quote]