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Furtakarcichlordandrandomprisonertoo

President Bush

Persus13

Xantalos

Obligatory Other

[GreatWyrmGold]

((You were supposed to roll for it...))

Now why would I do that? Anyone who's trying to fail can just fail.

[superBlast]

((You were supposed to roll for it...))

Now why would I do that? Anyone who's trying to fail can just fail.

Because failing to fail means succeeding.

[GreatWyrmGold]

((You were supposed to roll for it...))

Now why would I do that? Anyone who's trying to fail can just fail.

Because failing to fail means succeeding.

But you can't fail at failing if you're trying to fail.

[Doomblade187]

((You were supposed to roll for it...))

Now why would I do that? Anyone who's trying to fail can just fail.

Because failing to fail means succeeding.

But you can't fail at failing if you're trying to fail.

See my new action.

[superBlast]

((You were supposed to roll for it...))

Now why would I do that? Anyone who's trying to fail can just fail.

Because failing to fail means succeeding.

But you can't fail at failing if you're trying to fail.

And that is why you roll to see if he fails to fail or if he succeeds at failing.

[Gentlefish]

"Then yes, I offer dental. And health."

"Just fill up mah dungeon!"

[TopHat]

Tidy dungeon.

[scapheap]

Practice at friendship

[Spinal_Taper]

Reveal that death was only drunken stupor. Go rescue drunken sidekick/.

[GreatWyrmGold]

I MUST update tonight! MUST! NOT! RUIN! PERFECT! RECORD!

*

F---7

F███7

F█████7

L█████/

L███/

L---/

_{From Furtaka with XOXO}

Even if it ruins my REM sleep!

This is actually on time!

Well, dang it.
My record is finally gone.

But I will rebuild it!

Damn it, Chrome, why did you crash, taking 2/3 of the turn with it and making me redo the turn on Firefox?

Early turn, record safe!

Almost-forgotten turn, record in jeopardy!

More or less on time.

First, the Boss Vote results:
Xantalos and Furtakarcichlordandrandomprisonertoo are tied, with 4 votes. The Obligatory Other also has 4 votes, though. I've decided to run the vote another day, keeping only the options which had multiple votes. (Unless I messed up.)

Collapse the quote pyramid atop the amalgamation's enemies

[1] You convert the Quote Pyramid into a weapon to be used against Furtakarcichlordandrandomprisonertoo!

Blow up stuff.

[3] You kasplode a phone booth.

Produce ten rifles, each of them temporarily inverses the roll bonuses of the target, each of them ignore their target's bonuses.

[3-1] Your attempt to mass produce such a weapon fails.

Man... good thing I'm already a pile slushie gore.
"Voices... got any advice? Besides rape, maim, and kill?"
Go back to the explosive pile and chuck as many as i can at the giant guy. You should know by know that I go for the hole.

Huh, the explosives stockpile exploded a few turns ago.
Explosives that explode, who'da thuinkit?

avoid becoming the final boss.

So far, not so good...

((You were supposed to roll for it...))
Roll in an attempt to fail to get a +150 bonus.

[5] No bonus.

"Then yes, I offer dental. And health."

[2] "No way. Those benefits always detract from salary.

"Just fill up mah dungeon!"

[3] You find a pair of goblins.

Tidy dungeon.

[6] You clean the dungeon of everything, including pennies, aluminum foil, and goblins. Oh, wait, those were the dungeon's inhabitants.

Practice at friendship

Hold on, normal-friendship or defeat-equals-friendship?

Reveal that death was only drunken stupor. Go rescue drunken sidekick/.

[1] You are in the afterlife. And a mush.

Spoiler: Rules Discovered (click to show/hide)

IF YOU WERE SKIPPED, YOU PROBABLY DIED.
No faction leader may have a faction leader bonus greater than half the number of the leader's followers.
Familiars and other weak minions always die with the faction, unless tied closely to the master.
One action per turn.
If you want to make sure your bonus is accounted for, speak up.

Spoiler: Arena (click to show/hide)

Infinite Featureless Plane of Death

Spoiler: BOSS (click to show/hide)

Furtakarcichlordandrandomprisonertoo (+100)
Unharmed
Hats for Blood
Furtaka shoved in orifice
Pufferfish is an internal dungeon, taken care of by TopHat

Minions:
Corai
Pufferfish
TopHat

Aluminum Foil and Penny Golem
Ultra Hatlings (100)

Spoiler: In Charge of Everyone Else (click to show/hide)

Leader: World Golem (+8, +1 from Faction)

scapheap, Sailor Baator (+3); Pokemon: Pikachu

100 Animal Mascots (+1)
Black Tiger
Captain America (+2)
Random Drunk Girl
Pistachio (+1), GraveHaunter's Daughter, a twice-orphaned Froslass; Pokemon: Self, Abra
SCP-239 (+3)
Superman (+2)

Spoiler: Deaths (click to show/hide)

LEADER: HEAD DEATH (+??)

Persus13, Immortal? (-106), Missing Fingers, Death of Getting Glared At Angrily By a Giant Salamander

Death of Universes Suddenly Ending

Spoiler: Everyone Else (click to show/hide)

Doomblade (-5)
Empiricist, Severed Head
LordSlowpoke (Confused!)
Spinal_Taper, Dead Former Crippled Cybernetic Hermaphroditic Improper Fraction Actress/Singer/Etc, Current Drunken Guy in a Bathrobe, In Japan
superBLAST, mush
Xantalos, Flattened Blown Up Complete Monster Downplayed Evil Genius Dignityless Maxwell Smart Former Smug Snake Former Clown (+2)

Adam Savage
Agent [REDACTED], wearing NSCP-007 (+1)
Alexander Hamilton
Allosausus (current President)
Ash Ketchum (+4 for Plot-Critical Actions) (Pokemon: Who Knows?)
Atlas (+2)
Benjamin Franklin (+1)
Cthulhu (+3)
13 Demonic Magical Girls (+2)
Gyarados (+2); Pokemon: Alakazam (+2), Charizard (+2), Dragonite (+1), Snorlax (+1), Starmie (+1)
5,000 Hatlings
Jamie Heineman
Jane Freaking Goodall
1,868,668 assorted Magical Girl fans
Martians (2)
Napoleon Blownapart
NPC!da_nang (+1)
NPC!Xantalos (+2)
NPC!Xantalos (+2)
NPC!Xantalos (+2)
NPC!Xantalos (+2)
12 Research Assistants
Pope
President Bush (the second)
President Kerry
President Lincoln
President Jackson (+1)
President Roosevelt (the first) (+2)
President Washington
Terry
Thomas Jefferson
Ursula (+3)
William Shakespeare
Zeus (+3)
Zoe Jackson

[Persus13]

Destroy the weapon. Decide to join the final boss.

[Empiricist]

Erase the concepts of factions and their associated bonuses from existence.

[Furtuka]

reconfigure the weapon to be used against Xantalos

[GreatWyrmGold]

Erase the concepts of factions and their associated bonuses from existence.

Here's hoping you get a 6!

[Xantalos]

Continue explode stuff with my +3.