I MUST update tonight! MUST! NOT! RUIN! PERFECT! RECORD!
Even if it ruins my REM sleep!
This is actually on time!
Well, dang it.
My record is finally gone.
But I will rebuild it!
>Become the aforementioned amount of smart.
Become Magnificent - wait a minute. A REAL Magnificent Bastard wouldn't focus in trying to get the trope - he'd go out and EARN that bitch!
>Kidnap a family member of Samuel L Jackson while wearing a Furtukalichlordandarandomprisonertoo outfit.
Step 1: Get Smart. [1] You become an incompetent secret agent.
Step 2: Get a Furtukalichlordandarandomprisonertoo outfit. [5] You instead find a cloak which allows you to mimic the form of any boss or boss-like creature.
Step 3: Find a member of Samuel L. Jackson's family. [5] You find all the Jacksons!
Step 4: Kidnap. [5-1] You kidnap...um...Zoe.
get a larger negative bonus
[5-3] Nope.
Direct the amalgamation to attack itself.
[2+5v1+100] Nope.
Send hatlings to destroy everyone else.
Take control of the unpronounceable boss and crush the magic girls.
[6v6+100] Nope.
Make the magic girls the body in charge of everybody else faction.
[2+2] They are.
Ask Head Death what would happen if someone died in the realm of the dead.
THAT IS AN EXCELLENT QUESTION. I'M BUSY NOW.Drunken heroic speech! Let party power wash over all!
[1] "I'm such a hero. I did some heroic stuff. Like that drunk girl! Ha ha, I did her...you're my best friend, you know that?" This does not encourage anyone to party.
Put self out! Make hut inflammable.
[4] You are not on fire. [5] You are inflammable. Very inflammable.
Man, what a country.BOSS TURN:
Samuel L. Jackson [6] finds Xantalos. Four of them. Jackson gets a chance to test a theory about what happens if you die in the afterlife. He hasn't died yet, so it's inconclusive.
Furtakarcichlordandrandomprisonertoo glares at Doomblade. [5+100v1+3] Doomblade is flattened to a pulp but not killed. I think we may have an answer.
IF YOU WERE SKIPPED, YOU PROBABLY DIED.
No faction leader may have a faction leader bonus greater than half the number of the leader's followers.
Familiars and other weak minions always die with the faction, unless tied closely to the master.
One action per turn.
If you want to make sure your bonus is accounted for, speak up.
Infinite Featureless Plane of Death
Furtakarcichlordandrandomprisonertoo (+100)
Unharmed
Hats for Blood
Minions:
Furtaka
Leader: scapheap, Sailor Moon (+2); Pokemon: Pikachu
100 Animal Mascots (+1)
Blossom (+1); Pokemon: Charmander
Bubbles (+1); Pokemon: Squirtle
Buttercup (+1); Pokemon: Bulbasaur
Cardcaptor Torika (+1); Pokemon: Porygon
Random Drunk Girl
Kitty Pride (+1); Pokemon: Ghastly
Pam Akumachi (+1); Pokemon: Caterpie
Pistachio (+1), GraveHaunter's Daughter, a twice-orphaned Froslass; Pokemon: Self, Abra
Sailor Mars (+1); Pokemon: Voltorb
Sailor Jupiter (+1); Pokemon: Magnetite
SCP-239 (+3)
LEADER: HEAD DEATH (+??)
Persus13, Immortal? (-3), Missing Fingers, Death of Getting Glared At Angrily By a Giant Salamander
Death of Getting Glared At Angrily By a Giant Frog
Doomblade, Pancaked Mush (+3)
LordSlowpoke (Confused!)
Pufferfish, Imflammable Hut Genus Loci
Spinal_Taper, Former Crippled Cybernetic Hermaphroditic Improper Fraction Actress/Singer/Etc, Current Drunken Guy in a Bathrobe, In Japan
Xantalos, Complete Monster Downplayed Evil Genius Dignityless Maxwell Smart Former Smug Snake Former Clown
Adam Savage
Agents [REDACTED], [REDACTED], [REDACTED], and [REDACTED]
Agent [REDACTED], wearing NSCP-007 (+1)
Allosausus
Atlas (+2)
Cthulhu (+3)
134 D-Class Personnel
Dr. Bright
Dr. Clef
Dr. Gears
Former Zeus (NSCP-027) (+2)
Gyarados (+2); Pokemon: Alakazam (+2), Charizard (+2), Dragonite (+1), Snorlax (+1), Starmie (+1)
5,000 Hatlings
Jamie Heineman
Jane Freaking Goodall
1,868,668 assorted Magical Girl fans
NPC!da_nang (+1)
NPC!Xantalos (+2)
NPC!Xantalos (+2)
NPC!Xantalos (+2)
NPC!Xantalos (+2)
12 Research Assistants
Pope
President Bush (the second)
President Lincoln
President Jackson (+1)
President Roosevelt (the first) (+2)
SCP-076-2 (+2)
SCP-105
Terry
Ursula (+3)
William Shakespeare
Zeus (+3)
Zoe Jackson
NSCP-001: The Living Tower. The lich's tower inhabited by the lich's spirit. Also Site-N01
NSCP-002: The Portal Gun. Xantalos the ASHPD. Decommissioned.
NSCP-003: The Pocket Monsters. Pokeballs and -mon. Uncontained.
NSCP-004: The Magical Girls. Magical Girls. Cooperative.
NSCP-005: The Feline Warrior. Knight Tiger.
NSCP-006: The Mad Hatter. TopHat. Uncontained.
NSCP-007: The Secret Agent. Employed.
NSCP-008: The Luckless Immortal. Persus13.
NSCP-009: The Dead Walking. Liches. Uncontained.
NSCP-010: The Toroidal Portal. Two big chinks of space that wrap around to each other.
NSCP-011: The Familiar Statue. SCP-███, or a [REDACTED] Angel.
NSCP-012: The Two-Edged Scimitar. A sword which cuts back.
NSCP-013: The Deadly Wands. Death Eaters'. Uncontained.
NSCP-014: The Changing Machine. SCP-███
NSCP-015: The Eye Spiders. Spiders which control people from their eyes.
NSCP-016: The Tough Creature. A nigh-indestructible and adaptive cephalopod.
NSCP-017: The Silver Golem. Decommissioned.
NSCP-018: The Cloning Mirror.
NSCP-019: The Laser Pointer. Part of a rifle.
NSCP-020: The Titanic Being. Atlas. Uncontained.
NSCP-021: The Infinite String.
NSCP-022: The Russian Spoon. It bends people.
NSCP-023: The Living Hut. Pufferfish.
NSCP-024: The Living Armor. Corai's magical powered armor.
NSCP-025: The Electric Boggarts. A race of creatures which are made of electricity and like scaring people.
NSCP-026: The Red Man. A person who turns things red by physical contact.
NSCP-027: The Former God. "Mortal"!Zeus