I MUST update tonight! MUST! NOT! RUIN! PERFECT! RECORD!
Even if it ruins my REM sleep!
This is actually on time!
Star eliminating factions. Summon Tim to help.
[3] You summon Tiny Tim. [6] You eliminate the Defenders of Reality faction first! ...Wait. Crap.
BOOM!The universe collapses. Everything is transported to the Infinite Featureless Plane of Death.
Head Death:
"OKAY, WHO DESTROYED THE UNIVERSE?"Merge self with Arceus, the liches, and the Dark Lords to become the new final boss
[6] You override my previous decision
All the PCs, who were furtakaing everything pretty well even before I started twisting the results of your rolls towards that to create Furtakarcichlordandrandomprisonertoo. Who is not you. And who has bonuses equal to the total bonuses of all who merged to form him, plus unrealized faction bonuses, for a total bonus of: Oh, right, the minions. Let's just call it +50, just over what it would be without faction bonuses.
Lead the heroes faction in elimating the dark lords faction, with Persus' help.
Furtaka beat you to it.
Upgrade to Magnificent Bastard Complete Monster.
Summon yet more me's from the Far Realms.
[2] You stay the same. As to the summon-replication: [6] Some actual Magnificent Bastard yous approach and decide they don't like you.
Harness the distortions to reality to teleport away to somewhere safe.
Meh. The distortions were destroyed with the universe.
become more powerful.
[3] You get another +1 bonus.
For miasma.
Watch as rotting bodies gives me a +1 to my rolls. Consume slade.
Sadly, the rotting bodies count as features. [3] You kinda do, too...
I never had a contract!
Yes, you did. You got it when the Dark Lords summoned you, but that's a bit moot now that you got sucked into the new boss.
BOSS TURN:
The Deaths start processing people.
IF YOU WERE SKIPPED, YOU PROBABLY DIED.
No faction leader may have a faction leader bonus greater than half the number of the leader's followers.
Familiars and other weak minions always die with the faction, unless tied closely to the master.
One action per turn.
If you want to make sure your bonus is accounted for, speak up.
Infinite Featureless Plane of Death
Furtakarcichlordandrandomprisonertoo (+100)
Unharmed
Minor Barrier (-1 to attackers)
Terrific Teamwork Training: +1 when Working Together
Extra bonus: All get +1 to EVERYTHING
Leader: Doomblade (+6, +3 from faction)
Persus13, Immortal? (-2), Missing Fingers
Pufferfish, Hut Genus Loci
scapheap, Sailor Moon (+1); Pokemon: Pikachu
Blossom; Pokemon: Charmander
Bubbles; Pokemon: Squirtle
Buttercup; Pokemon: Bulbasaur
Cardcaptor Torika; Pokemon: Porygon
Gyarados (+2); Pokemon: Alakazam (+2), Charizard (+2), Dragonite (+1), Snorlax (+1), Starmie (+1)
Pam Akumachi; Pokemon: Caterpie
Kitty Pride; Pokemon: Ghastly
Pistachio, GraveHaunter's Daughter, a twice-orphaned Froslass; Pokemon: Self, Abra
Sailor Mars; Pokemon: Voltorb
Sailor Jupiter; Pokemon: Magnetite
Animal Mascots: 100, No Faction Bonuses
Bush (the second)
Lincoln
Jackson (+1)
Roosevelt (the first) (+2)
1,868,668 assorted Magical Girl fans
Xantalos, Complete Monster Dignityless Smug Snake Clown
Atlas (+2)
Dr. Bright
Dr. Clef
Dr. Gears
Agents [REDACTED], [REDACTED], [REDACTED], and [REDACTED]
12 Research Assistants
SCP-076-2 (+2)
SCP-105
Former Zeus (NSCP-027) (+2)
Agent [REDACTED], wearing NSCP-007 (+1)
134 D-Class Personnel
Spinal_Taper, Former Crippled Cybernetic Hermaphroditic Improper Fraction Actress/Singer/Etc, Current Drunken Guy in a Bathrobe, In Japan
Random Drunk Girl
Leader: NPC!Xantalos (+3, +1 from Faction)
NPC!da_nang (+1)
NPC!Xantalos (+2)
NPC!Xantalos (+2)
NPC!Xantalos (+2)
NSCP-001: The Living Tower. The lich's tower inhabited by the lich's spirit. Also Site-N01
NSCP-002: The Portal Gun. Xantalos the ASHPD. Decommissioned.
NSCP-003: The Pocket Monsters. Pokeballs and -mon. Uncontained.
NSCP-004: The Magical Girls. Magical Girls. Cooperative.
NSCP-005: The Feline Warrior. Knight Tiger.
NSCP-006: The Mad Hatter. TopHat. Uncontained.
NSCP-007: The Secret Agent. Employed.
NSCP-008: The Luckless Immortal. Persus13.
NSCP-009: The Dead Walking. Liches. Uncontained.
NSCP-010: The Toroidal Portal. Two big chinks of space that wrap around to each other.
NSCP-011: The Familiar Statue. SCP-███, or a [REDACTED] Angel.
NSCP-012: The Two-Edged Scimitar. A sword which cuts back.
NSCP-013: The Deadly Wands. Death Eaters'. Uncontained.
NSCP-014: The Changing Machine. SCP-███
NSCP-015: The Eye Spiders. Spiders which control people from their eyes.
NSCP-016: The Tough Creature. A nigh-indestructible and adaptive cephalopod.
NSCP-017: The Silver Golem. Decommissioned.
NSCP-018: The Cloning Mirror.
NSCP-019: The Laser Pointer. Part of a rifle.
NSCP-020: The Titanic Being. Atlas. Uncontained.
NSCP-021: The Infinite String.
NSCP-022: The Russian Spoon. It bends people.
NSCP-023: The Living Hut. Pufferfish.
NSCP-024: The Living Armor. Corai's magical powered armor.
NSCP-025: The Electric Boggarts. A race of creatures which are made of electricity and like scaring people.
NSCP-026: The Red Man. A person who turns things red by physical contact.
NSCP-027: The Former God. "Mortal"!Zeus
Everyone, in all universes