I MUST update tonight! MUST! NOT! RUIN! PERFECT! RECORD!
Use pant-lasers to blow up the heat ray!
[3] You remembered to install them! [1] You installed them backwards, burning off your legs!
SELF DESTRUCT
So, what
do you do?
Get a +5 bonus then join Tim.
[5] You get a +4 bonus. Tim lets you join.
Steal incomplete heat ray.
Put on jeep.
Hire dwarf, put on jeep.
Drive jeep recklessly.
[2] Sadly, there's no jeep around.
>Rally troops with an epic speech and launch an assault against the supervillains!
You are kinda dead...wait, that's old!you. [4] You rally them!
ADOPT TRUE FORM
LINK IS TRANSFORMATION CUTSCENE
What is this I don't even.
[6] You turn into a guy in a bathrobe.
Persuade Rebel Hatlings to join me.
Protect the Heat Ray!
Oh, and summon elites than elite hatlings
[3] Negotiations have been opened. Demands include democratic election of a leader, adequate equipment, and less mosquito spraying in the park by that spider colony.
Give up. This is pointless.
You surrender. No one notices.
Summon an army for the Sane People's glory!
[2] No one answers.
BOSS TURN:
Black Mage finishes resting! [6] He uses his Kamehameha Hadouken spell, killing a lot of people! Deaths include...pretty much all NPCs without bonuses, no way I'm rolling for everyone. Because I'm sick of him, it also destroys the Shoehorn Emperor. He rips open rifts to [6/2] the Foundation, a Super Smash Brothers arena, and Alagaesia.
The Embodiment [2+4] summons a bunch of tanks.
The Magical Girls [3] make a little cheerful cottage.
The Supervillains [2] don't make much progress in the middle of battle.
More rifts open. [4] They open to the Galaxy Core and the lich's tower, half an hour ago. [2] No one goes through the portals.
IF YOU WERE SKIPPED, YOU PROBABLY DIED.
No faction leader may have a faction leader bonus greater than half the number of the leader's followers.
Familiars and other weak minions always die with the faction, unless tied closely to the master.
One action per turn.
Lich's Rebuilt Tower (lich is genus loci)
Crumpled Spacetime
Former Shoehorn Empire
Cheerful Cottage
Portal to YAFB Aperture Science
Portal to Ray's Castle
Portal to Site Something-or-other
Portal to SSB Arena
Portal to Alagaesia
Portal to Galaxy Core
Portal to Half an Hour Ago
da_nang, Reality-Supporting Dragon from Space (+4 to avoid dying)
LordSlowpoke, LordSlowpoke
Pufferfish, Embodiment of Logic Gates
Vorthon, Sick Gibbon (Tim'd)
TheZoomZoll, interim Cthulhu
Leader: Embodiment of Technology (+4)
Black Mage
Minor Barrier (-1 to attackers)
Leader: scapheap, Sailor Moon (+2 from faction)
Corai
Furtaka, killer bunny rabbit (+1 on Killing)
Akira
Blossom
Bubbles
Buttercup
Cardcaptor Torika
the Enchantress
Pam Akumachi
Kitty Pride
Lyrical Nanoha
Pistachio, GraveHaunter's Daughter, a twice-orphaned Froslass
Sailor Mars
Sailor Mercury
Sailor Jupiter
Leader: TopHat (+1 from faction)
Lieutenant: HatLeader (+1)
Leader: Tim (+3)
Persus13 (+4)
Spinal_Taper, Former Crippled Cybernetic Hermaphroditic Improper Fraction Actress/Singer/Etc, Current Guy in a Bathrobe
Old Spinal_Taper
Leader: GreatWyrmGold (Old) (+3, +1 from Faction)
Lieutenant: GreatWyrmGold, golden dragon (+2, +1 from Faction)
Sublieutenants: Nighthide Dragon (black, 1/4 silver) (+1 from Faction); Stealthy Sharpmawed Stormer Serpent (half-brass-dragon Large viper) (+1 from Faction)
[spoiler=Supervillains]
Leader: Ray
HERACLES (X2)
Mirror (Kamehameha Hadouken)
Psyghost
Shaper