But wait, if I'm in Alduin's intestines, and Alduin is 0 miles from work, shouldn't I be?
Burst out of Alduin'schest cavity as a chestburster, then slither into work.
((Alduin works somewhere else. He works inside Cassandra.))
(1) HE FINISHES DIGESTING YOU.
Hmm. The atmosphere is 7 miles high yes?
[Teleport to edge of atmosphere above work
(5) YOU TELEPORT TO THE TOP OF THE ATMOSPHERE, THEN YOU START TO FALL. BETTER FIX THAT.
WARPSTEP AWAY FROM THE NUKE AND TOWARDS WORK
(5) YOU CONTINUE WARPSTEPPING, PORTING AWAY FROM THE NUKE AND SAVING YOURSELF.
DESTROY TOWN
TRY AGAIN
DESTROY ANOTHER TOWN
MORE DRAGONS
(3) YOU DESTROY A SMALL TOWN, CAUSING A HERO TO RISE UP AGAINST YOU!
Three AIs, yes!
Compliment employee's work.
While I'm at it, ask her name.
Create different AIs for different difficulty levels.
(3+1)"Oh! Thank you, sir!"(3+1)"Michelle. Michelle Silver"
'kay, horses are a bit boring, honestly. So...
>Go all Back to the Future and ride my hoverboard to work.
(2) BUT THEY WEREN'T INVENTED IN TIME...
>Respawn with my own version of the TARDIS with it being on the ground, on Earth in a field that has no one-else on it, and the TARDIS being three feet to my left, unlocked and in perfect condition without it having a Time Lord, and I can pilot the TARDIS.
(I think that covers nearly all situations. Watch, I forget one and something extremely bad happens.)
(4) YOU GET YOUR STUPID PERFECT SITUATIONS.
use asexual reproduction to make me into an army. Go medieval on Xantalos.
(3) YOU SPLIT INTO TWO, AND PLAN TO INFECT XANTALOS. (1VS1) DESPITE HIS LACK OF REALLY, ANY HYGIENE PRACTICES, YOU STILL FAIL AT INFECTING HIM.
Relize I fell asleep on my workplace and that I have been dreaming. Then wake up.
(4) AND?
>SUMMON TYPE-52 TROOP CARRIER, FLY TO WORK WHILE BLASTING POLICE HQ WITH MAIN CANNONS
(3) A CHILD PRESENTS YOU WITH ONE OF HIS TOYS, WHICH YOU PROMPTLY STEP ON WHILE SCREAMING ABOUT KILLING COPS.
"FINE. BUT I'M USING YOU AS A HUMAN SHIELD."
GO ATTACK POLICE OFFICERS AND GANSTERS. USE NINJA AS SHIELD.
(5) THE GANSTERS AND COPS DIDN'T STAND A CHANCE. YOU SICK BASTARD.
DISTANCE TO WORK:
VORTHON: 20 miles
YOINK:20 miles and a dimensional leap
PERSUS: Pretty damn far
MULLET MASTER: 20 miles
SLAYER:10 miles
CORAI:20 miles
ONYX:20 miles
CASSANDRA: 0 miles
GUININANRUNIN: 27.5 miles
GWG: 20 miles
XANTALOS: 20 miles
MIAUW: 20 miles
ZANZETSUKEN: 20 MILES
TAVIK TOTH: 0 MILES
BORNO: 10 MILES
SLOWPOKE: 20 MILES
TRYRAR: 7.999999 MILES
TCM: 10 MILES
MISKO: 7 MILES
ASEAHERU: 20 MILES
SCAPHEAP: 20
DA_NANG: 20
THURIS: 19
GREENSTAR: 20
SomeGuy: 20
DIRG: 20