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Author Topic: Terrible Jokes  (Read 715239 times)

Roundabout Lout

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2775 on: October 21, 2015, 12:44:00 pm »

A mother shark wants to teach her child how to hunt and feed, so she takes him to a beachfront with a lot of people in the water.

She has her child follow as she circles the swimmers for about ten minutes before finally picking someone to drag down.

After the two feast on the catch, the child shark asks his mother why she had to circle around the prey first.

She answered, "Well, they taste a lot better once you scare the shit out of them!"
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Dirst

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2776 on: October 22, 2015, 08:23:25 am »

What did one spider say to the other who was accidentally spilling food on the floor?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Just got back, updating:
(0.42 & 0.43) The Earth Strikes Back! v2.15 - Pay attention...  It's a mine!  It's-a not yours!
(0.42 & 0.43) Appearance Tweaks v1.03 - Tease those hippies about their pointy ears.
(0.42 & 0.43) Accessibility Utility v1.04 - Console tools to navigate the map

origamiscienceguy

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2777 on: October 22, 2015, 08:24:51 am »

Everybody, your socks are untied


OH WHY ARE YOU SO GULLIBLE MCFLY!?
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"'...It represents the world. They [the dwarves] plan to destroy it.' 'WITH SOAP?!'" -legend of zoro (with some strange interperetation)

martinuzz

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2778 on: October 24, 2015, 09:50:51 pm »

Two guys are sitting in a Saudi prison.

"What are you in for?" Asks one of them

"I was caught reading the Playboy. Now I'm getting 500 strikes with the whip."
"Wait. Don't you get the death penalty for that?"
"Nah, thank goodness they no longer print naked pictures. So what are you in for?"
"I allowed my wife to drive a car. Now I'm getting 200 strikes with the whip"
"That's harsh man"
"You think that's harsh? Man. It's nothing compared to how she totalled my car!"
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

My Name is Immaterial

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2779 on: October 27, 2015, 04:04:07 pm »

Hey girl, do you like hobbits?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Tawa

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2780 on: October 27, 2015, 04:04:43 pm »

What's worse than a dead baby joke?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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I don't use Bay12 much anymore. PM me if you need to get in touch with me and I'll send you my Discord handle.

Rubidium

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2781 on: October 27, 2015, 04:05:50 pm »

What's worse than a dead baby?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Dutrius

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2782 on: October 27, 2015, 04:29:34 pm »

What's even worse than that?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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NAV

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2783 on: October 27, 2015, 04:30:11 pm »

No a pile of dead babies is much worse than half a dead baby
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Highmax…dead, flesh torn from him, though his skill with the sword was unmatched…military…Nearly destroyed .. Rhunorah... dead... Mastahcheese returns...dead. Gaul...alive, still locked in combat. NAV...Alive, drinking booze....
The face on the toaster does not look like one of mercy.

My Name is Immaterial

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2784 on: October 27, 2015, 04:36:33 pm »

I disagree; half a dead baby means you're almost out of dead babies, and need to go get some more.

Rubidium

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2785 on: October 27, 2015, 04:38:06 pm »

Even worse than a pile of dead babies?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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My Name is Immaterial

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2786 on: October 27, 2015, 04:39:14 pm »

Even worse than a pile of dead babies?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
God, pests will get into anything, won't they?

Rubidium

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2787 on: October 27, 2015, 04:57:47 pm »

Even worse than an alive baby in a dead pile of babies?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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TheBiggerFish

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2788 on: October 27, 2015, 04:59:54 pm »

No, the worst thing is that this exact sequence is repeating itself.
Well, the half a dead baby was new.
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It has been determined that Trump is an average unladen swallow travelling northbound at his maximum sustainable speed of -3 Obama-cubits per second in the middle of a class 3 hurricane.

Spehss _

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2789 on: October 27, 2015, 05:00:57 pm »

What's worse than dead babies?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Steam ID: Spehss Cat
Turns out you can seriously not notice how deep into this shit you went until you get out.
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