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[Comrade P.]

Fahrenheit is good for nothing.
Celsius is master race.
Kelvin is space magic.

[TheBiggerFish]

Fahrenheit is perfect. In Celsius, a fever is around 38 degrees. But in Fahrenheit, the fever is a glorious 100 degrees.

I all seriousness, Kelvin is best for physicists, Celsius is best for chemists, and Fahrenheit is best for everyday life. Cause 'Merica

I prefer Fahrenheit for measuring the temperature for human consumption.
Anything science-y, Celsius or Kelvin, though.

[Spehss _]

If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

They're usually around 90 degrees.

Did you hear about the mathematician who had a pie? Rumour has it he turned around one day and suddenly he had 2 pies.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

radians math joke ayyy dear god i'm making trig jokes what kind of nerd am i

[crazyabe]

Whats Black and blue and red all over?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

You after a gang fight

Whats Red, White, Blue, and Hot?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

A burning American flag

Whats the largest pile of shit on earth?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

You

[Sheb]

Two hot girls are fleeing from a zombie horde. One of them notice the other is smiling brightly.

"Why are you smiling? We're going to die!"
"Well, it's nice to have boys liking me for my brains for once."

[Comrade P.]

Two men are lost in the woods. They ramble and ramble, then they see a bear in the distance. The bear spots them too, and he appears to be hungry. He starts running towards them. As the first man starts running away, the second one secures his shoelaces. The first one stops and asks: "What are you doing? He is gaining on us, run now, or we won't outrun him!"
The second man replies: "I don't have to outrun the bear, I only have to outrun you."

Totally stolen from Imitation Game.

[Spehss _]

One day, 3 little girls are talking about their names. They wonder why their parents named them like they did, so they go to ask their mother.

"Mommy, why was I named Rose?" asked the first one.
"Because when you were born, a bouquet of flowers was thrown in the air, and a rosepetal fell squarely on your head, sweetie," the mother replied.

"Mommy, why was I named named Tulip?" asked the second one.
"Because when you were born, a bouquet of flowers was thrown in the air, and a tulip landed squarely on your head, sweetie," the mother replied.

"Mummy, y wuz i ggngnnbblblblb?" said the third one.
"Shut up, Brick," the mother replied.

[Bohandas]

Degrees Rankine, anyone?

Yeah, Rankine is the best. It's just as good as Kelvin and much better than Celcius and Farenheit.

[TheBiggerFish]

Degrees Rankine, anyone?

Yeah, Rankine is the best. It's just as good as Kelvin and much better than Celcius and Farenheit.

What are these Farenheit and Celcius you speak of?
(*Fahrenheit, Celsius)

[hector13]

Rankine is even worse than Fahrenheit because it equates to that particular scale like Kelvin does to Celsius.

I mean brine freezes/melts at 0 degrees Fahrenheit but something like 450 degrees Rankine.

[Orange Wizard]

Centigrade4life

[My Name is Immaterial]

Fahrenheit.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

That's the joke.

[Tack]

Rankine is even worse than Fahrenheit because it equates to that particular scale like Kelvin does to Celsius.

I mean brine freezes/melts at 0 degrees Fahrenheit but something like 450 degrees Rankine.

459.67 degrees rankine, I'll have you know.
Because Fahrenheit is just an awesome and useful measurement system.

[SealyStar]

The reason we don't use Kelvin or Rankine is because anything less than ~250/~450 of each, respectively, is rarely useful outside of scientific applications (and Russia).

[Graknorke]

Fahrenheit.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

That's the joke.

I kekd heartily.