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Author Topic: Terrible Jokes  (Read 712524 times)

Dutchling

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #1260 on: November 01, 2014, 06:51:46 pm »
Except that's not funny.

So I guess it does work in German!
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Sean Mirrsen

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #1261 on: November 02, 2014, 10:20:46 am »
A new, fully automated factory of a famous European footwear manufacturer unexpectedly failed to produce any merchandise on its recent test run. Examination of the factory's central computer revealed

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

(also, ptw)
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Multiworld Madness Archive:
Game One, Discontinued at World 3.
Game Two, Discontinued at World 1.
"Europe has to grow out of the mindset that Europe's problems are the world's problems, but the world's problems are not Europe's problems."
- Subrahmanyam Jaishankar, Minister of External Affairs, India

Bohandas

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #1262 on: November 02, 2014, 05:39:51 pm »
-I just had a lightning rod installed. I can't believe how fast they put it up

-I was going to tell a great ebola joke but if you're not black you probably won't get it

-Apple's CEO recently came out as gay. Samsung's CEO is expected to announce tomorrow that he is even gayer

Q. What kind of bug blows itself up
A. a jihaddy longlegs

-You've gotta feel sorry for Justin Bieber, he's been to every Justin Bieber concert

-Fewer americans have died of ebola than have been married to Kim Kardashian. The ebola victims also suffered less.

-If all the bibles and korans ever printed were laid end to end, they would fprm a six foot high wall around the Earth. And then all the Christians and Muslims could fuck off and live behind it.

(from http://www.sickipedia.org)
« Last Edit: November 02, 2014, 05:47:02 pm by Bohandas »
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Slayerhero90

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #1263 on: November 02, 2014, 05:56:31 pm »
Quote from: Bohandas on November 02, 2014, 05:39:51 pm
-Apple's CEO recently came out as gay. Samsung's CEO is expected to announce tomorrow that he is even gayer
and waterproof
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My tumblr.
Yeah no I don't haunt here anymore. Peace

NAV

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #1264 on: November 02, 2014, 06:03:35 pm »
First woman on the Moon:
"Houston, we have a problem."
What?
"Never mind"
What's the problem?
"Nothing"
Please tell us?
"You know what the problem is."

Courtesy of Sickipedia.org: http://www.sickipedia.org/sex-and-shit/women/first-woman-on-the-moon-houston-we-have-a-problem-1597614#ixzz3HxHmUafM
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Quote from: Th4DwArfY1 on November 15, 2013, 01:23:21 pm
Highmax…dead, flesh torn from him, though his skill with the sword was unmatched…military…Nearly destroyed .. Rhunorah... dead... Mastahcheese returns...dead. Gaul...alive, still locked in combat. NAV...Alive, drinking booze....
Quote from: DreamerGhost on May 23, 2015, 03:37:47 pm
The face on the toaster does not look like one of mercy.

Orange Wizard

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #1265 on: November 02, 2014, 06:34:42 pm »
Quote
-If all the bibles and korans ever printed were laid end to end, they would fprm a six foot high wall around the Earth. And then all the Christians and Muslims could fuck off and live behind it.
:'(
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Quote from: Loud Whispers on June 04, 2016, 07:55:42 pm
Please don't shitpost, it lowers the quality of discourse
Quote from: Cinder on July 21, 2016, 09:25:53 pm
Hard science is like a sword, and soft science is like fear. You can use both to equally powerful results, but even if your opponent disbelieve your stabs, they will still die.

Mr. Strange

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #1266 on: November 02, 2014, 07:37:21 pm »
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Quote from: Loud Whispers on October 02, 2014, 03:30:30 pm
Then you get cities like Paris where you should basically just kill yourself already.

You won’t have to think anymore: it’ll be just like having fun!

Helgoland

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #1267 on: November 02, 2014, 07:50:07 pm »
From that reddit thread:

So I painted my laptop black, so it would run faster... Now it doesn't work.
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Quote from: MetalSlimeHunt on December 28, 2014, 03:28:43 am
Arguably he's already a progressive, just one in the style of an enlightened Kaiser.
Quote from: Wolfhunter107 on May 26, 2017, 08:10:14 pm
I'm going to do the smart thing here and disengage. This isn't a hill I paticularly care to die on.

Bohandas

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #1268 on: November 02, 2014, 08:08:51 pm »
A first-generation Apple computer built by Steve Jobs in 1976 recently sold for approximately one million dollars. This makes it the most affordable Apple product on the market.
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Bohandas

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #1269 on: November 02, 2014, 09:21:39 pm »
Q. What people are cheap and greedy, run all the banks, and are involved in sinister worldwide conspiracies?
A. The Republican Party.
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Noel.se

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #1270 on: November 03, 2014, 01:22:28 am »
Quote from: Mr. Strange on November 02, 2014, 07:37:21 pm
More horrible jokes.
From the imgur comments:
"If the camera adds ten pounds, do African children actually exist?"
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Sheb

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #1271 on: November 03, 2014, 01:37:49 am »
Ahah, I loved that one from that imgur thread:

How many blacks does it takes to start a riot?

-1
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Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.

Sergius

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #1272 on: November 03, 2014, 09:41:07 am »
A chicken was passing by with a bouillon cube under its wing.

When asked what he was carrying, he said "the remains of my mother."
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Sergius

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #1273 on: November 03, 2014, 09:42:55 am »
What did the hard boiled egg say?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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ggamer

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #1274 on: November 03, 2014, 10:11:41 am »
The worst one from sickipedia

Quote
I'm not racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.
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