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[Darvi]

Why do Elves suck at advanced maths?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Because they refuse to use natural logs.

[Slayerhero90]

What's the most flammable tree of all?
Still elves.

[Zrk2]

I can't beleaf yew guys are still stuck on these sappy puns.

[The Darkling Wolf]

Ye be walking a Darcke road with these puns.
Ye be.

[Descan]

Ye be walking a Dalek road with these puns.
Ye be.

FTFY

[The Darkling Wolf]

The Daleks nae be Darcke, not in the sense I be speaking of.
Nae.

[RedWarrior0]

Do you know what the best mythological parody is? the Satyre

[zombie urist]

Teacher: Bobby, I hope I didn't see you looking at your neighbor's test.
Bobby: I hope so too.

[Yoink]

What is the difference between a politician and a slug?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Slugs are smaller, and not as slimy.

Where do you go to find a sober Irishman?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The morgue.

What do you call a tall, thin man who lives in a tree?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Bo.

Back when dinosaurs walked the earth, they thought they were invincible. They were the biggest creatures around, they could kill just about anything. But there was one dinosaur who said it couldn't last. He said they were too big, if they didn't learn to be smaller they would all die. They laughed at him, they didn't believe him for a second.
Thus, all modern lizards are descended from the...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Itoldyousaurus.

[Helgoland]

Alice has cheated on the test and copied everything from her neighbor Bob - to the letter. However, she gets an F, while he gets a B+.
She goes to the teacher to complain.
The teacher tells her: "On question two, Bobby wrote 'I don't know', right?"
"Right."
"Well, and you wrote 'Me neither.'"

Also, a really evil one:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Putin, Merkel and the prime minister of Canada are talking, and they start bragging about their respective countries' forests.
The Canadian premier says: "We have forests you can get lost in and not find out for days!"
Putin says: "That's nothing. In the Russian forests, sometimes you only come out after a few months."
And Merkel says: "Well, we have Buchenwald. Noone ever got out of there.

(The joke being that "Wald" is german for "forest" and "Buchenwald" was a concentration camp. Yeah, I shouldn't be telling that one.)

[Darvi]

If she copied everything to the letter, shouldn't she have also written "I don't know"?

[Helgoland]

Damn, I need to get my story straight...

[GreatJustice]

When did the prime minister morph into (the?) Premier?

[Dutchling]

There's a difference? The Dutch prime minister (minister president) is also called premier...

[USEC_OFFICER]

In Canada they're the heads of provinces/territories, so it's a bit of a difference.