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[Rolan7]

https://garfield.com/comic/1990/05/30
This is terrible like "terrifying", or possibly "terrific" in that it made it past the censors.  And people say Garfield is mundane.

[Rose]

I don't get it.

[Rolan7]

Spoiler: What my group came up with after an hour or so (click to show/hide)

For some reason, there was dog semen on the table.
In a coffee mug.
During a cat examination.
And even then it doesn't technically work, obviously, unless it was actually dog fetuses.

And why would any of that look like coffee??  Much less be in a coffee mug.

Much simpler explanation which took a while to reach:  The vet lied to Jon because he stole her coffee, and he is an idiot.
That, or she's an exceptionally poor veterinarian.

[Starver]

The joke is that it's asking for your birthday, and won't go further without it, claiming that it's there to give "...the best Garfield.com experience EVER!", obviously. Which is a laughable reason.

Or at least that's what I take from that link.

(Or that it gives Year values back to 1908, but then complains if you provide anything earlier than 1917...)

[Rolan7]

I'd laugh and agree that it's ridiculous to age-gate a syndicated cartoon from the 90's, but somehow it's almost appropriate.

[Reelya]

How do academics communicate over long distance?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

They Yale

... this one worked. I visibly winced at the punchline. Good job.

[Jimmy]

The joke is that it's asking for your birthday, and won't go further without it, claiming that it's there to give "...the best Garfield.com experience EVER!", obviously. Which is a laughable reason.

Or at least that's what I take from that link.

(Or that it gives Year values back to 1908, but then complains if you provide anything earlier than 1917...)

To be fair, the fact that you and I both used the lowest year possible on the age gate form is honestly far more amusing than the actual cartoon.

Still, seeing semen jokes in a Garfield strip are certainly worth my thirty seconds of lifetime spent.

[My Name is Immaterial]

The joke is that it's asking for your birthday, and won't go further without it, claiming that it's there to give "...the best Garfield.com experience EVER!", obviously. Which is a laughable reason.

Or at least that's what I take from that link.

(Or that it gives Year values back to 1908, but then complains if you provide anything earlier than 1917...)

To be fair, the fact that you and I both used the lowest year possible on the age gate form is honestly far more amusing than the actual cartoon.

Wait, it wasn't just me? Yall also tried 1908?

[Arx]

The best part is that it's not even age gated. I put in today's date and it didn't even blink.

[Jimmy]

Makes you wonder what's really going on. Must be illuminati molemen lizardpeople from mars datamining birthdays from Garfield strips.

[Descan]

Not sure. The only [drug] I take is manufactured in Israel.

Is it for hasidic reflux?

i believe this belongs here

[Culise]

I've been rereading the couple Spider Robinson books I have, and that means...

"A fella named Lonega wondered out loud why theater people are always saying, 'Break a leg,' and without batting an eye, Doc says, 'Well, you can't make a Hamlet without breaking legs.' Hey, I couldn't let him get away with that one, could I? I came up with a better one."

The Doc shuddered. "'Better'? Hah! I remember it yet." He turns to us. "He gives us this five-minute setup about this bizarre compulsion he's been having, to build replicas of Assyrian stepped pyramids, and then burn 'em to the ground. And then he waits...until somebody's just about to change the subject...and he says-"

Long-Drink finished it for him. "I gotta quit smokin' ziggurats before it kills me."

As one, we moaned.

"So of course I take a closer look at him," the Doc said, "and I see he's wearing this hand-painted polka-dot necktie - this was back when men wore neckties in a bar - and I say, 'Nice tie, buddy. More in Seurat than in Ingres.' And we were off and running. As I recall it, his next atrocity was something about a new method of erosion control for beaches-"

"You wait for a real hot day, so the winds'll be violent," Long-Drink interrupted again. "Then you just spread out fishing nets. This results in the formation of-"

"The Doc, and Mike Callahan, chorused the punchline with him. "-A BAKIN' LATTICE AND TORNADO SAND RIDGE!"

And, of course, the puns continue from there. :3

"...until you perpetrated that Byzantine horror about the Middle-Eastern manure salesman.

Long-Drink shook his head. "I don't remember it."

The room held its breath.

"Would that I could forget it.  Let's see...you started with that true story about the guy in the Civil War who got a testicle shot off, and impregnated a lady fifty yards away...only you specified that he was a German named Josef, and that the shot was fired by Scarlett O'Hara, and that the resulting child was named for his father. Then, as I recall the atrocity, you alleged that the child grew to manhood, moved to the Middle East, and used a series of methodical burglaries to finance his vast manure empire-"

"Ah, yes," Long-Drink said reminiscently.  "The Haifa-lootin', routine Teuton, son of a gun from Tara's owner, big-time Cow-Pie Joe..."

[Arx]

What's purple and commutes? An abelian grape.

[Helgoland]

What's purple and a registered sex offender?

A grope.

[Sir Elventide]

What's blue and purple and didn't run fast enough?

A Peeping Tom after eyeing an Amazon.