Outside the lair of the most frustrated necromancer of all, Bernie von Glautzenheiser...Bruce resolves to make Samuel's life even more miserable by heaping more verbal abuse at him!
"You idiot! What have you done? I'll have you reported, just you wait!"He runs off!
[Bruce speedy traveling roll: 4]
He gets back to the inn in half an hour and proceeds to look for a guard station!
[Bruce search roll: 6]
There is no station, but a unit of twelve soldiers appears to have ridden into town for a drink! Bruce approaches them!
[Snitch, snitch, snitch on the evil necromancer: 6]
"Guards, you must help me!""What is the matter, stranger?"Bruce stands still for a second. He realizes he doesn't actually know the skeleton's name. He decides to report Bernie instead!
"A necromancer most foul has taken residence in the Bradford family mausoleum! He is raising the dead, consorting with hellspawn, plundering treasures, kidnapping maidens and BINDING SOULS!""Oh, the humanity! Something must be done at once!""Yes, at once!""Let's ride! The necromancer must be apprehended!"Bruce takes a seat behind one of the guards on horseback and they ride swiftly back to the mausoleum!
Samuel, meanwhile, feels a great sadness descend upon him as his skeletal butler dreams grow ever more distant and improbable. He decides to attempt to make his own fortune in the world by blundering into the woods like some kind of skeletal adventurer!
[Samuel adventuring roll: 2]
And boy, does he blunder or what. He blunders to the left, he blunders to the right, he blunders all around in many, many circles! Unsurprisingly, he doesn't find any ancient ruins or abandoned magic equipment! In fact, he doesn't find anything at all! Not even a wild animal to fight out of boredom and frustration! How utterly droll. He re-emerges from the woods an hour later, the disappointment on him almost palpable. There appear to be a lot of heavily-armed goons at the mausoleum. Huh.
In crazy country...James, delighted at the new turns his life is taking, produces a toothless grin and loots the corpse of the unfortunate guard! It takes a while, but he gets all of the
chainmail off and puts it on himself! Also, he pries the
halberd from the guard's fingers, making this the second completely naked corpse (aside from himself) he's seen today! Flush with triumph, James decides to scout some more!
[James scouting roll: 1-1]
However, his plans are immediately ruined when he is set upon by...
[Deadly creature roll: 2]
... a wild hare!
[Hare vs. James: 4+1 vs. 1+2-1(
surprised)]
The hare leaps into the air, as hares are wont to do, and goes for James' unprotected face, savaging it greatly! It keeps hanging on, biting, scratching and generally being unpleasant and diseased!
James is ugly now! He is also in dire peril!
Back at the inn...Vincent, feeling left out by virtue of not having any meaningful amounts of money and awesome swag, decides to get in on all that sweet criminal action!
[Vincent pickpocketing roll: 4+1(contextual skeleton censor in place)]
He, exploiting the fact that he is currently subjected to an odd visual censor, walks around the entire inn, stealing from people to his heart's content. After making his rounds, he checks the loot:
23
gold coins, 57 copper coins,
many keys,
various notes, a box of snuff and what's this? Skip's spellbook, containing many complex spells of illusion! Score!
He sits down in his corner, beaming with joy at the tremendous loads of loot in his lap! Just in time, in fact, to see
Jordan enter, axe in hand and questions in mind.
[Jordan searching roll: 5]
He approaches Skip Rogers!
"Hello, my good man. I say, do you happen to know anything about a man named Skip Rogers?"Skip slightly recoils at the sight and smell of Jordan, but is too polite to say anything.
"Oh, you're one of those undead guys, right? You're in luck - I'm Skip Rogers, pleased to meet you.""Jolly good! Tell me about yourself, will you?""Well, where should I start, I'm a magic user, and a good one at that, I've studied in the University of Magic for several years and am about to graduate. I'm in love with my girlfriend Tammy here, she's great.""In love, you say? How marvelous! Are you engaged yet?""Well... uh...""Skip? What's the matter?""Well, there is something I need to say."Skip faces Tammy, drops to one knee, takes out a box from his pocket and opens it! Inside is a beautiful ring!
"The real reason I've brought you all here tonight is this: Tammy, I love you with all of my heart and soul. You are the only woman in my life that has ever mattered. No other woman in any land compares to you in beauty, kindness or wisdom! This is the most important night of my life, and I'll be damned if I let Bernard von Glautzenheiser ruin it! Tammy Rutkowski, will you marry me?"Tammy takes the ring and places it on her finger!
"Oh yes, Skip, as sure as you and I live, I will marry you!""Good show, chaps!"[Jordan vs. Skip: 5+1 vs. 5-2 (surprised, oblivious with love)]
Jordan brings the axe down with a mighty swing! Skip's head is messily separated from his shoulders! It rolls in Tammy's direction!
[Inn reaction roll: 3]
Tammy collapses crying in front of Skip's headless corpse! The room goes silent! Jordan picks up the head by its golden locks and begins to stroll out of the inn, whistling on the way! However,
Philip and some of the mages aren't done with him!
[Philip telekinesis roll: 2]
[Mage 1 fireball roll: 3 (inebriated)]
[Mage 2 lightning bolt roll: 1 (inebriated)]
Philip attempts to crush Jordan, but his inexperience with ghostdom clearly shows as he struggles to even nudge him a tiny bit! A mage launches a massive fireball, but it goes wide and hits a wall next to the entrance, setting it on magical fire! A third attacker makes lightning arc from his fingers in Jordan's direction!
[Jordan reaction to lightning bolt: 6]
Jordan turns around and raises his one true friend and companion: his axe! The lightning strikes it, but something must have gone wrong in the casting of the spell, as it does not fry him instantly, but makes the axe glow and spark!
Jordan points the axe at the three assailants! An arc of lightning comes out from the tip! It strikes Philip!
[Philip's resistance to lightning: 2-1(surprised)]
Philip is caught completely unprepared by the massive amounts of magical current! It courses through his incorporeal form, delivering massive punishment to his unlife-essence! Philip's ghostly presence blinks for a few moments, then disappears!
Philip is dispersed![Mages' morale roll: 1]
The mages, still drunk and faced with a crazy zombie that shoots lightning, rapidly wave their arms and disappear in a puff of smoke!
Jordan calmly walks out of the inn.
[Fire roll: 2]
As he does so, the fire spreads along the inn! Well, that's not Jordan's problem anymore, he supposes.
"I say, that was easy!"I loved writing this turn, in case you couldn't tell. Wrote Philip out of the story pretty nicely, I think (peglegpengeuin dropped out). Now to only write the next waitlister in.
If you think I played fast and loose with the rolls here, feel free to notify me so I don't attempt it again. I feel a bit guilty about all the assumptions going on in this turn, but I also think the scene was worth it. Jordan is so much fun to write for. Silly speech + axe-craziness = amused GM.
Author
Topic: Life Begins At Death - Epilogue: We Live And Live Again (Read 564176 times)