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Yes!

No!

I am small and neutral, like Switzerland

[Bogwedgle]

But I DO have some flat coke zero

But why though?

[Random_Dragon]

Also, this is going to be my first experience with Kobold Kamp, so... expect disasters.

Eeeh, you'll be fine. Just brew moar kefir.

[Shoruke]

Okay, I'm starting my turn now. Wish me luck!
I got through all the coke, and about 4 shots of creme de menthe. Didn't hit me dtoo hard. Then I started on the voaka and I feel a bit dizzy.

I played the Overwatch drinking game! It's where you play overwatch and drink... basically every cahcen you get.
I'm make a surprisnngly good drunk-ass Torbjörn ,

[Random_Dragon]

In before passed out prinny. 3:

[Shoruke]

Spoiler: the turn (click to show/hide)

Okay so... kobold frot.
shorKobold Kampf.
whatever, lest's play this.

Okay, so the k's are my guys...
uh... this is less workshops than usual right? Been a while.
 Are kobolds supposed to not have masonry / metalwork / smelting.? Cuz' we do

TF is a "salvag shop"
heheh... vag
*slap'd*

oh neat, tooltips. Is that part of Kobold Kampf or does DF do that? *idunno*

*tries to upload a pic*
*this IP has been banned for abuse*
FUCKING TOR I'd appreciate the security if half the goddamn internet was usable
fine I'll switch back to firefux for this...


It's true, I am satisfied that I got some work done. Today was the starta of MOTROCYCLE SEASON AND i got mine fixed up and went for a reide! Now it's raining and my bike is aprtaking of FREE CAR WASH DAAAAAY
it is also treu that I am a penguingbomb of coures

5 of the cutebolds are having storytime
lets' play guess the story
"this is the story of kobold Socrates. Once, there was an oracle on a hill. the end."
"Uh, what?"
"Now we sit here and not do work ofr fifteen fucking days."

I think we need... wa walled fort.
Like Trump's but less racist.
...and more speciesist i guess BUT STILL
IT'LL BE WAY COOLER WHEN i DO IT

holy mother fuck these kobolds work fast

"mak wookd buclkler?" dotn' those suck? ah well, I'm sure... uh, whoever TF knows better than me. I suck balls at DF military-ing. And that's in Dorf Kamp, in Kobold Kamp my strategy is "it's a city-building game right?"

YO WHO'S THE FUCKING MECHANIC
...uh
I think I just found out how the... less jobs thing is enforced. I can't assign mechanic profession o_O
FUCK FUCK FUCK HOW DO I BRIDGE THO

Do I seriously just... not bridge
but then
how do I
secure the... :<

who turned off all the hauling
...Razndom lizard, did you turn off all the hauling/?

ofck o fck the kibbleds have no booz o_O
wait do okbolds drink?

Well, Naryar seems to prefer raspberry wine so since 1/1 kobolds likes an alcohol, all kobolds are alcoholics
I gota 95% on my stats midterm btw 

MOAR BOOZ

kobolds can have the brewrewrewry professsisonin (whoa suo many big ords sucddenly), but so they should be able to use a still. So...
HY IS THER E NO STILL
ho tf wis this not like the second thing made
this is an AFFORNT
i yam AFFROTNED
THESE MIGRANTS ASRE ALSO AFFRONTED
(btw we got migrants)

good, I need morea haulign bitches
and bererwers. gotta hav booz
this is drunkfort
even the non-bboozrs need mbooz.e

theres' no chief medical officer job noble. or whatever.
so this new diagnoser is ... maybe not useuless, but hes almost useless?
Okay. What to call him...

Perfect.


(I actually like conssles as a concept I jsut dont' like any of the curretn gjeneration ones)

I just realized these kobolds' natural names are...uh
unpronouncable? and other things too
but mostly unrpouneoundceable

hey one of the migrants is a brewer
I like him

WHOA DUDE HOLY SHIT WHATS TWIHT THE


'k' examine:
dense cottongrass tufts

* Shoruke resists urge to say something really really racist

where... did I put the still...
I remember... I made one... it wsasys we have one... but where...
guess I'll make snaotner another one

oh neat, I can make >200 size orders now
I mean >30
but the tone oI made is 200

why are the wood haulers not hauling wood >:|

Wait where'd the...
FUCKING GODDAMMIT I LOST THE SECOND STILL
wait I found it
or maybe this is the first one
fukkit, make dat booz

wait
"brew fermented milk drink"
okay so this is either japanese yogurt drank, which I once mistook for milk
or
its' cheez booz
either way, pretty dope for medieval kbolds

is ther much chanec of us getting ivnaded

"wat is "other ppl" lol
taht's a no

hmm, wonder if i shoudl v've made the wall out of fortifications.. eh.

wat u mean theres more migrants
I can hardly build a wall let a lone a whole house

this migrant is an "administrator"
Overseer Scruffy: "Jobs' taken."
Klukaluckafuk: "well shit"

SO I GAVE DAT BITCH SOME CARPENTRY
bitches love carp entry

(why do they bother sending omroe than 1 "adminstratro " position guy each wave)
Oh look a traderp, can we trade him in for someone who ISN'T A USELESS TWAT
We already have a trader!
(wait, right?)
(...kobolds don't have trader nobles omg)
"hey waht do u do for a libving"
"I'm an economist"
"...bitch r u for reals we are so communist we don't even know what trading is"
"but I have a 4 year degree!"
"then use your knowledge of economizcs to trade for a degree in, i dunno, A JOB POSITION THAT FUCKING EXISTS HOLY SHIT BRO"
holy fuck this guy's degree is more worthless than mine and I don't even have mine yet

me right now:

(it didn't work)

Okay I'mma try and make some low-income kobold housing
I dont' promise to succeed, my forewhead is going numb
(jesus chirst the kibbleds finished my designation in the time it took me to type that)

what do you mean, "must be inside"
okay fine
ROOFS THEN

finnickly fuggin kobolds having the same standards as I do
jerks

Aha, you see, by placing the bedrooms along THE WALL, I saveon building materials.
and also if we ma decide to make the 2nd floor into fortifications in the future, the floors are already build
so clever
...and totally not a conveneint fluke

(I'm supposed to be tallying how much alchol I've drank right?
I lost count but I'm at the point where if my head is within a foot of anything flat I nap on it acicditentally)

by complete fluke, the two bridge s of the baes ofare lined up pefectly
I mean, uh, i meatn to do that
makes the bedrooms look all symmetrical


what is WITH THESE FRELLING KOBOLDS AND NOT HAULING THE GODDAMN WOOD
srsly

7 idlers, a bunch of them have all hauling jobs, there's wood lying aroudn outseide and a Wood And Ntohing Else stocki=pile, WHAAAAAT. come onnnn

It's autumn!
When did I start this turn??

I'm trying to drain this slough
but like
there's so much water
I'm making a 4th reservoir to drain it
hold up

I wonder if these things are related.... nah, couldn't be.

another human lasher is visiting. Um...
Is it kink week and nobody told me?!?
This is an outrage!
This is a scaednel!
if anyone eeded an invite to that it's me.

omg more migrants
y tho

And what is happeneing to all the "missign " kobolsd btw?
its' not like the Canadian government is in charge of finding them, we shoudl have some leads by now
*shots fired*

QUESTION!
why arent peasatn cokbolds dorf-paesant colourd
why are tehy faremre coulouerd

oh we found one of the "missing "koblds
dehydrated
WHEN WILL THEY FIND A CUUUUURE *BURIES HIM IN THE RIVER running through the fort*

obtw I got the booz industry working
we have 184 boozes
THIS TURN IS OFFIZCALYY A SUCCESSZ!

okay, I think for my health's sake I'm gonna-

...leave ths shit to seomeone else.
GLHF with the birdbard and his meerrry band of fuck you

Here have a save file or somethi- *snore*

[Shoruke]

Hmm... I don't seem to have enough screenshots. I'll fix it tomorrow...

[Random_Dragon]

Bwahahah. Adorable.

And yeah, you can't actually assign any mechanics, furnace operating, or metalsmithing labors. Masonry is still valid though. :V

Salvage workshop will be handy if we ever survive an invasion.

[Shoruke]

Here's the west side of the fort. There's a wall, a bridge, NO LEVER goddammit, a bunch of wood, a wood stockpile with no wood, and some crappy rooms.

The good news is that the wall is done, and even has some fortifications on the southwest side, but the bad news is that AFAICT the only way to actually make it unbreachable is to deconstruct the bridges and reconstruct them whenever you want someone to cross.


Let's see, other than that, the important thing is

Good luck with those birds though, next overseer.

[Random_Dragon]

Nyahahaha. There are decent ways to make even a fort with no mechanics inaccessible though.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

1. For walls, extend an overhang around the very top of the wall. Use floors specifically, not walls or fortifications, because climbers can't get up it unless there's a wall or fortification at that level to hold onto.
2. Building destroyers can't get past a locked hatch if they're stuck underneath it. Give them a door or something to target when they first show up, close off any walking that would let them get to the upper side of the hatch, then lock it when you see them going after something else. Do it wrong and they'll target the hatch before it's actually locked, which lets them smash it even if you lock it afterward.

Both kinda hinge on something lockpickers can get through, but for that you use guard animals. 3:

[Shoruke]

I found a video that... well, watching it is a lot like looking around when you're too dang drunk.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sAMGC5qMJ1w

...it counts as on-topic 
We need a bump anyway, someone take a turn.

[Shoruke]

Have none of you taken a turn yet? Dammit, I got drunk again but the last turn is mine XD

[Random_Dragon]

Kobolds are scary, evidently. ;w;

[Yoink]

Maybe I will sometime after payday. I haven't had a drink in weeks, so I'll probably be able to get wasted more cheaply than usual! Hopefully!   

[Taupe]

I played the Overwatch drinking game! It's where you play overwatch and drink... basically every cahcen you get.
I'm make a surprisnngly good drunk-ass Torbjörn ,

Oh fuck I just died like a retard...

PLAY OF THE GAME

[Shoruke]

I'm lining up to take a turn this evening, double-turn status be damned.
..... And I'm probably going to start a new fort without kobolds. Nobody's been playing since we went with mods, I'm not familiar with it, not having access to metal or mechanisms removes a lot of the potential for getting things wrong, you know how it is.