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I am small and neutral, like Switzerland

[TD1]

That puts a whole new meaning to the newly introduced libraries, then. The storied lore of the Dwarves, stretching back generations into the dimness of the past. An endless, celebrated row of shelves holding alcohol labels.

[Shoruke]

If you actually read all those codexes from the artifact page, it turns out all of them are just tables of drinks and their alcohol content.

[Bogwedgle]

If you actually read all those codexes from the artifact page, it turns out all of them are just tables of drinks and their alcohol content.

That's actually the definition of codex in dorfish.

[Shoruke]

Okay, I'm doing a turn today.
FFXIV (my current "main squeeze" video game) is undergoing maintenance way earlier than usual, so I'll try to be drunk by then so I can segue straight into Drunk Fortress from there. My turn should start in... 5 hours or less.

[Shoruke]

now i don't know how many of you have plaedy throguh plaace of the dead
in ffxiv or toluct
but basically
i played a drinking game
"take 1 gulp every time you dclear a floor"
and onwow

HAHAHA
drunk as fuck
let's play drunk fort

i got to floor 60 btw.
drinking vodka.

[BitterTait]

My god this thread is brilliant. 

I (or rather, DrunkTait) might have to take a turn at this tomorrow.  Planning on getting schloberknockered for the US election, and since it's the last time I'm going to get any parts of drunks outside of family get together for the immediate future. 

Before I do, could someone do me a favor and test this save file?

http://hoalabs.com/forumimages/dftest.zip

I run linux and had to edit a couple of raws to get it to work for me.  For some reason I had to change TIGER_MAN to TIGERMAN and a few others.  I left it running and re-saved it.  Just want to make sure my modding doesn't break it for everyone else

[Shoruke]

How drunk am I"?
HOW DRUNK AM I!?*hic*

I'm dizzy sitting up over here.
I drank water out of teh sink adn got pisn ad needesl
I tried to eat a ananaimo bar and alsmot dtripped over it.
as the persron in chareg of how drunk I am
i decaler i am too daenm drunk for drunk fort
LET THE GAME BEGIN HUE HUE HEUE

sign in and first thign yous ese is

TOO MCUH SHIT

how'mi gon' fuggin'... sheesh

AAPREVO ALL THE PETITTIONS
AFTERALL
IT SAYS TIT IN IT
can't be bad for you rite

my frsit thought is "i need a project"
my second thought is "wait..."



read a thing
mieditate
wat
i dotn' know either of thiese things
toady
with the updates
stahp
no wait dton'
don't
*

*falsheback*
oh yeah, theree was candy
I'MMA GET IT

i hit unpaused and my mining istn' being done. wheres' the miners...

good... for... her? Him? what...

erson isnt' on my 'n'obels screen, i don give a fuck

wait a tick
i zoomed to them
that's a human
why did i get a notification babout a person being promoted to "lady"
was she just a gil before or something o_O

*girl

omigawd, I can't make the bards miners. LAYM

is this our stroeerroom

its'... kidan pretty! o_O


give it canvas, you'll be fi-
...dead?


okay what.
webs?


WHAT


HOLY MOTHERFSHITSHITN
SHITTING FUCK
FUCNKING SHIT
WHAT
you guys
I found spiderman and hes' hudge and a douchebag
also
AAAAAAHHHHHH

I need a drink Q_Q

My god this thread is brilliant. 

I (or rather, DrunkTait) might have to take a turn at this tomorrow.  Planning on getting schloberknockered for the US election, and since it's the last time I'm going to get any parts of drunks outside of family get together for the immediate future. 

Before I do, could someone do me a favor and test this save file?

http://hoalabs.com/forumimages/dftest.zip

I run linux and had to edit a couple of raws to get it to work for me.  For some reason I had to change TIGER_MAN to TIGERMAN and a few others.  I left it running and re-saved it.  Just want to make sure my modding doesn't break it for everyone else

HELLO NEW PERSON
I wa m way too drunk too ...
(lost my train of thought0)
Hi! I'm too drunk for this.
ask someone esle, plez enjoy the mayhem
(turn still ongoing

[Shoruke]

WHOOOOOOOA
i CAN CHANge the zoom by scrolling o_O
in DF
holy...
was i able to tdo this the hole wtime o_O_o


so anyway
sopdermun

*spneds 2 minutes mfinding the *kill shit" button*
wait, that's a camel. fuck.

no, wait
what...
no wait
what
okay
what...
I'm confused!

I go to the unit list
I see this


so i click z
("its' pronoucned zed btw)

and i get


so...
i dotn... what...
ITS' A WERECAMEL TITAN
A WERETIAN CAMEL!?
IT'S...

Code: [Select]

?????????WHAT THE FUCK YOU GUYS


uh... kill it? Sure... should work...


IT'S GOING GR8 M8 R8 8/8

[Shoruke]

waita tick
people are also dead of dehydrtion
BUT WE HAVE LIKE1800 ALCOHOLS
dude waht the fuck


O see water
wonder if taths' why

also how does paint do th-
*hits preview*
WHERE'D THE GRID GO
what the fuck


OH GOLLY GEE YOU GUISE
I WONDERP IF HE MADE IT


I'M REALLY HOPEFUL
...i hit 'f'ollow on the "bursh titan" donkey or w/e
and I'm like
"i told the military to go get him, where are they"


KAMIN YOU LAZY SHIT
I THOUGHT WE WERE MEME-MARRIE DOR SOMETHING FROM THAT ONE JOKE A FEW MONTHS AGO
GET IT IN GEAR


welp
the titan is hanging out at the edge of the zone
and the military (KAMIN YOU LAZY FUCKDERP) Isn'tgoign over there
so
oh no wait it'safter a human or something
bye bye bard
AS I WAS SAYING
MIGHT as ewell leave it along and
BYE BYE OTHER HUMAN
and deal with something else
like candy

*oh man, that web+titan combo. burtal*

'P'etitions available
WHY!?!?!?
Look dude if your're bpetitioning for sanything but one last fuck before you die I dont' know why you're wasting your time because holy god damn this titan tdude
holy shit
holy fuck
omygod
savage AF

screw drunk fort, I'm way too drunk to get shit done. I'm rooting fo rthe titan. Go monsters!
Also, why isnt' the military getting its' ass in gear?!?
(asses?)
KMAIN
WHAT THE FUCK FBRO

fun fact: weretitan camel titan werecamels may or may not breathe warter. I dunno.

I'm starting to think the militia lieaders got my "hgo kill this motherfccuker " order and went "hahaha no"

*epifaphiany*
I think we're locked inside.
on the one hand, not dying, yay!
otoh
not killing this guy. shit.

but the thing locking us in... is a brdige...
*squint*
how do I open it without cave-in-ing the world.

*remove bridge*
AND THEN THERE WERE NO PROBLEMS RIGHT

I mean there isn't even a moat or anythign
what are we dtriying to brdige twiht this bridge

holy shit
we have a tower

KEEP THE BRIDGE
 we just need........
marxdorfs
marksdrofs
marksfrdo
marksdorfs
YEAH
shoot theat matherfocker

#nofortifications LOL


tinypic doesn't want me uploading this and I dont' know why
probbably pbecause it's grsso how our ffort is covered in PUKE

wait.
back up.


(fuck tinypic is buggering up...)
anyway what it says is
terheres' a wren woman in the fort
AND NOBODY EVEN THINKS IT'S EWERID OR ANYTHING
just "hi I haven't seen you areound what's your name cutie"
"CAW CAW MOTHERFUCKER"
"cool so do you want a drink or...?"

...how welse would dorf society work.

OH! fuggin sweet, my mining got done. Fun fact, we now have candy.
Now... gotta be careful about extracting this.
very fvery carefu-
BWAHAHAHA
look whoever's going tdown there is FUCKED and we all nknwow it okay? LOL

but iI'mma sea seal thaem off.
try to gifeve them food and water. I mean booze.
("try")
*goes to "take from stockpile" stockpile menu
...where the actual fuck do we keep shit

Oh, it's in the flooded place. Good.

Begin project: HOW THE FUCK TDO I DRAIN WATER FROM TE THING

IT'S SUMMER
I also still dotn' know where the fuck we keep shit

*still fighting with tinypic, wtf*
"a vile force of derpness has arrived"
WELL DO YOU KNOW FUCKING WHAT
GOOD!
they can have a picnic with teh fugging camel weretian goliath r whatever the fuck
share stories, make friends, have a whole mini-arc of the story with homoerotic subtext
And I'm still going to be over here trying to upload screen shots and not know ing what the FUCK
part of me wants to say "someone else's problem"
butyou know what
FUGGIT LET'S GO
GOBLIN SIEGE ACTIVATE
(really really glad I stop decontstrtuctging the bridge)
holy shit, they have beak dogs
OH MY FUCK THEY HAVE TROLLS
IT'S OVER
OH MY GOD
HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK are they... doing...? Having a barbeque up there? They sure don't siege very fast...

Uh... as fasrr as I can tell, one of the spots of grass is a teleport er to another spot of grass above it and the goblins are using it to get in.

I decided to draft some motherfuckers to deal with the teleporting goobboo threat.
apparently our first militia commanderp is a hauler with no combat skills.
I catn' replace him.

I cant' even...
no do you know whoat? someone who can figure out how grass teleportes upwards to a bush can deal thwith this.
WHAT THE FUCK
because we're under siege... fort is airtight (?)... gobbos keep wandering in but not really as a group, a dorf wanders out where there's no staircase, tinypic doesn't work, what the FUCK.


I'lla add spoiler tags in the morning probssibley
http://dffd.bay12games.com/file.php?id=12549

[Bogwedgle]

OH GOLLY GEE YOU GUISE
I WONDERP IF HE MADE IT

That's a memorable quote if ever I saw one

[Scruffy]

I approve this turn of events

The fort is a decadent bunch of bards and selfish assholes holed up in a sealed fortress that looks like an random maze of half-finished pieces of modern art twisted into architechtural forms, all of which is covered in various bodily fluids. Kind of like a subway station.

[edgemarquis]

old enough to drink but not willing. dorf me as edgemarquis, lady edgelord.

[90908]

The fact that this particular fort does not surprise me says something about this thread.

[BitterTait]

Well, on the plus side a major culling may give an FPS boost. 

Probably start playing at 6:30 eastern

[Random_Dragon]

I found spiderman and hes' hudge and a douchebag

It was inevitable.

So, are we all still dorfed? :V