Not tdrunk enough to really make terribad decsions yet so I'm not gonna unpoasue, but I've mentally disabled backspaceing and I'm gonna take a look around.
Dat ass sis still locked in my office...
the craft rooms OH GOD IT'S SO FUCKING SHINY FUCKING FUCK IT ITHRUS
HURTS*
(oh my god tinypic fuck you and your wibbly wobbly captchas)
the overowrlds is swingking at me. there's wood on top of... i dunno other plants I guess? and it keeps winking at me. creepy as fuck.
Hmm. The pyramid is a bit more fleshed-out. and has a penis on one side. Might as well turn that into a magma cannon. The problem is how to get the magma up gthere...
the only metal we have is zinc and you can't make screw pumps out of zinc so what am I gonna do Q_Q
I can't just make the Dwarves carry the magma up there in buckets? Can i?
We have enough idlers to do it... jussayin'...
oh hey, we found hell. And it turns out that hell is Fonzie.
ehhhhhhhh indeed.
almost as Canadian as I am.
did... did you seriously put dorfs there as bait?
that's so evil
I wonder what this fire demon is doing here with all these doors
unlocked doors...
I mean there's a lwall there so no biggie right? but still, odd.
OH HEY CHECK THAT TSHIT OUT
depot is full of stuff
unforbid everything, melt all the shit on repeat
oh yeah
cgonna be screwing pumps somedaaaay~
...I think a bunch of the things I'm saying are easy to take out of context. Go figre
I'm not getting drunk fast enough. Gotta speed this up. Whiskey time.
oh god why diD I EVEN BUY THIS STUFF IT'S SO BAD FUCK
my poor stomach
fuckin' ghosts are back. Man, every goddamn time with this thread.
Hey, I got all the idlers to go do stuff. Build the prymadi, melt the stuff, make some slbas, (bitches love slabs), paw yeah. Productiviyt.
I like how I can build the pyramid by just telling them to build the whole thing and not have to worry about how much materials we have. Never running out of wood around here ever, it's so nice. We all just have so much wood. *chuckle*
Is that ruom STILL on fire? Gods ist's beien like 5 turns so that should be like 3 years or more how the fuck...
I don't understand this little chute that goes from the undreground lakes to the magma sea. Why is there a 300-foot cock and balls staircase?
Naryar #6 is making a thing out of zinc and wood and other things I'm too lazy to read. Gonna be... so lame because he's in a crafter shop. I expected better of you Naryar
Hey Naryar #3, you're the only miner and we already have a bajillionty woodcraftdeptrs, go mine some shit instead
everyone's horrified of stuff but I can't even
is it the ghosts? you've all been here for like ever, srsly get used to it already
I don't even believe in ghosts, bu tisf I spent like 3 years in a fort with several I'd probably eventually just be like "yeah whatever here we go wagina"
Kamin made a amulet. It's worth
moneys because we don't have a borker
so I made myself the bork
FUCK
BROKER
ONE FUCKING TIME
I just want to spell it right ONE GODDAMN TIME
Aw shieeet!
You should dorf a brewer with the name 'Vodcoke' while you're at it.
Good point! So I renamed every brown Dorf into Vodcoke Maker (or something) and gave them the brewing job even if they're supposed to be doing something esle
BECAUSE FUCK YEAH BOOZE
(incidentally I'm now drinking vodka with SHIT -ATSS fruit juice because I ran out of coke)
Hell, you should rename EVERY lever to vodcoke. If they dont dispense booze, why were they built?
I don't know how to rename levers and I don't know how to find all the levers anyway, but that sounds like a great idea!
...Do we have levers? Oh hey, a lever! I wonder what it does
but I'm scared to find out
Hmm. Well it looks like we have a bunch of military fucks already so LET'S DO THIS
dorf ar- ahem.
DORF ARMY, DEPLOY!
ALL SQUADS MOVE OUT
DO A AELIERON ROLL
Uh. Did I miss something? I told the military to attack it and then a bunch of civilians swamred him and won. Only frinedly injury swas Shoruken (heh, awesome name), got his neck snapped so he's taking a dirt nap. By which I mean he's literally using the Rest action outside. Never seen that before.
nobody's coming to save me though
oh wait, I apparently just woke up and decided "fuck that I'll just walk to bed". Like a goddamn champ. MY NECK IS BROKEN AND I'M JUST GONNA WALK IT OFF HOW FUCKING BOSS AM I
Well, Naryar is being a lazy fuck instead of digging out the cemetary expansion, so I'll put the memorial slabs in this other nearby room. Also, Wrex is having a hissy fit because he doesn't have an office. You're the captain of the guard, fuck do you even need an office for? STORING PAPERWORK? we don't even have paper!
In other news, Wrex (a different one I guess) is a ghost now. I'll add him to the list of slabs...
I just put... like... ugh I can't count. Like 6 ghosts to rest.
I got sick of Naryar not digging sutff so I took away all his jobs except digging. Then he finished hauling his wood and went on break. Fucker.
YOU GCANT GO NO BREAK FOREVER YOU SWILL DIG SOME SHIT I SWEAR IT
unless you get injured or something. Then you can just be a vegetable I guess
what are you all still getting horrified at? I put all the ghosts away...
Is it all these Elf corpses? Why aren't you all celebrating?
look I'll make a corpses stockpile will theat ficks everything? Please?
One of the wax workers s finally doing the digging. Naryar, you should be ashamed. You were beaten to the punch by a wax worker.
OH MY GOSD NARYAR IS ALSPEP
asleep* how do I spell so badly sometimes
hmm, an ironic moment. Someone was digging out the new cemetary and found a ghost in the wall XD
i wot
I mean, uh, YEAH! You all gotta listen to me and my arbitarary bullshit now. Mandate #1: NO MANDATES HAHAHAHAHA
BEST MAYOR EVER
oh hey no wonder nobody's going to get the adamantine, there's a wall here. I'll just remove that, it' looks sealed up decently...
I mean yeah, last time I thought that we got invaded by an ass and redcued to 3 dorfs and then the migrant wave got slaughtered
but it should be fine this time
what could possilby wgo rwrong
OH HEY LOOK NARYAR IS DOING THE MINING
GOOD FUCKING JOB
mental note: Naryar can be bribed into DOING HIS GODDAMN JOB if it invovles blue rocks
Hm.
We're been atacked by a werewhore
oh wait sKINK
ahaha that capitalization that was an accident
sknik... QGS reveals that skinks are little lizards
JUST LIKE GECKOS?!? MYTHOLOGY GAG
no but srsly all you military guys, go get him
bonus points if you get bitten non-cripplingly but still win
We lost 4 dorfs to the weresKINK. Renofox, Clover Mgic, Kamin 5 or something, and Naryar (no not that one, the other one). But we won!
Um. Oops. Well at least it didn't really FLOOD, it just kinda... killed someone. My bad?
it happened on the bottom non-sealed level of the adamantium pillar so it's not so bad
OH HYE RIGHT I can still dig upwards, I forgot
I only just now noticed, in the "tasty dorfs here come clowns" room there's a table and some chairs for the clowns to eat at. Nice touch.
WELL NO FUCKING SHIT, INER PEOPLE, OF COURSE YOU FOUND WARM STONE YOU'RE IN THE MANTLE
WHAT DID YOU THINK I WAS TELLING YOU TO DIG THROUGH, ICE CREAm?!?
*someone experiences emotional shock*
look I'm sorry, I just... I'm kinda drunk.
someone's been missing for a week, I won...der... Oh. It's that guy twho... dug and found magma. Uh... I guess he's gonna need a slba.
Bitches love slabs.
Hey, remembr the shoruken that got his neck snapped? well he's making masterwork doors. Give no fucks.
Unrelated, I cued up the Attack on Titan theme right before that happened. That was offically the most UNNECESSARILY AWESOME DOOR EVER
Okay so I'm
to up to ... uh... 3 shots of whiesky and... fuck i dunno like 10 hots of vodka?
It's hard to aim the cursor at any rate
people cekeep finding warm stone and I'm like "well fuck" "I mean good for you CUZ I FUCKING CAN'T"
like how do I even... aim at the... rocks... man. Shit's hard, yo.
at least the dorfs are good at tel- no wait
the dorfs are good at doing what I tell them. To do. I'm just bad atstelling it.
A ghost just toppled a statue.
a) how
b) no you didn't...
c) thanks for the rmeingder I need to remove some statues to put the other statues up... (sthe statues are in the way of the statues)
Hmm. That corpses stockpile is full of Dwarf corpses. I think we need more graves? But we have all these empty ones already
So confuse
WELP MAKE more graves anyway
ohey, the Dorf Traderps are here!
And our dorfs are prioritzing the bring shit to depot jobs! I so proud
"the world is the same as ever"
what, drunk?
What requests do you have
BOOZE, duh
and metal
fuor fu-
I mean for screwi-
I mean for screw pumps
(psssst this is gonna be on the test, better write it down)
(lor like remember to check back here)
HOLY FUCK did farms get a update or what
(I don't pay attention to the devlog, Im just here for the drunk fortress)
HEY WHAT HAPPENED TO THE TRADRS
they were- I just...
I spendt like TWO MINUTES finding stuff to bring to the depot
and the tradrs are just like "nah dude
"
Buncha idiots, I was gonna sell you SO MANY MECHANISMS. And a couple statues.
...but there IS a bunch of new forbidden stuff at the depot... huh. I wonder if they got attacked by, I dunno, that barn owl or something and just fucked off
...ROLL WITH IT
FREE FOOD AND MELTY FLASKS AND STUFF
AW YISS
whoa I just scared the crap out of myself, I missed the textbox when I clicked and hit backspace and I thought I lost a bunch of my post. But I got it back because I'm a super awesome computer person who knows who HOW to use the forward key.
sudden realization: the thing we have the most of is graveyards. Our largest industry is dead people.
Well, okay, we have more wood than corpses I guess
but still
oh and rocks
DO YOU KNOW WHAT the point is we have lots of dead people
being specific about things is annoying sometimes
we're not even remoetly low on wood, but fuck Elves. buncha clucks. CUT DOWN ALL TEH TREES
So I haven't been mentioning it, but all the dorfs are depressed as fuck and I don't know why. Someone just got punched so hard they apparently got PTSD. And also a broken rib. EinsteinSatDown has had so many "oblivious" phases I lost count around 6, and people just dropping thier shit because "horrified" is like, an everydoay occurance. But I don't know what they're all horrified at! The corpses? Dealing with those. The ghost? They're gone..
And besides, I'm listening to such soothing music right now, hwo are you not calm as fuck? Agnes' theme FTW
a) that typo is funnier than it ought to be
b) it's funny that Mr. The Reckoning himself can't bring the reckoning because he has no ammo. Should've been n a movie, then you wouldn't have to reload. Oh snap did I just say THAT out loaud
Migrants/? Oh dear.
Animaler, Huntderp, child, child, traderp, high master hump I MEAN PUMP OPERATOR, traderp (oh hey appraiser skill, you can be the new me), siege engineer, Engie, traderp, .
Sudden re... lizati...
I had a sudden realization a moment ago, during the migrant wave, but I forgot it
OH YEAH CHICKENS
why do dorfs like chicksens for their scratching instead of their eggs? Eggs are ooawesome, chicken scratches suck.
the tree-fucking squad just had an accident. Yoink is dead an Enisea is crippled. Enisiea is having a tantrum. Yeah, pffft. No workers comp for you, it was your fault. Maybe.
(man, a year takes forever like this. Glad I started "early" at like 6PM. I think I started at the start of summer, but I'll go until the start of Spring. It's late autumn now)
You know, I think "horrified at saw person(X) die" actually means "saw the corpse of person(X)". So... maybe if we clear away all the corpses the dorfs will stop getting fhorrified all the damn time? Hmm. But how to get rid of corpses...
*flashback*
something about... garbage disposal into hell? ...Nah, the adamantine chute is too convoluted. And I'm not sure I could do all the grates or whatever probaperly in my current state. So... next person can do that.
Hmm. Dorfs aren't bputting the metal bars into my new metal bras stockpile near the forge. So there's probably another one? Fuck. I dunno how to find it.
Should have figured the bars stockpile would be on the crafting slevel. I wonder if there's any other ones.
HOW THE FUCK ARE
PEOPLEKEAS UINTERRUPTING PEOPLE WHO ARE UNDERGOUND
it's winter! I'm expanding the cemetary. Again. 'cuz corpses.
more accurately, I'm telling the miers to expand the cemetary and they're ignoring me because it's hard for me to fire them from their job as dorfs.
oh hey, usnused tombs! ...in the bedromms hallway.
...I'll take it! But who's the drunk fuck that put 'em there?
Yoink (I don't know which one) just slipped into depression.
I wonder if therapist should be a job depre- what?
I wonder if therapist should be a profeession for dworfs. Maybe, but then the therapists would go insanwe.
Does'tnt matter how long you've been on this turn, as long as it isn't the first for a fort you can always find more evidence of someone else fucking up worse than you :3
Hey... I see more adamantine over there!
Well ovbiously that adamantium needs some american-style freedom
unfortunately Naryar #3 is too busy diggig stupid shit like graves and bedrooms to deal with adamiantium. And everyone else is too undorfenly to dig. We need more miners.
kay, so. The agma sea goes up to Z15. The pyramid is on Z150ish. So we need like 135 screw pumps to get the magma up there, ight? Hmph. Well, I've got a few made. We're 9/135 of the way there! YEAH PROGRESS
Holy fuck, I think I caught up with the graves. It took me FIVE HOURS STRAIGHT of being drunk, but I did it.
*achievement unlocked: caught up with the goddamn graves AGAIN*
meanwhile, I'm pretty sure I fell behind with the bedrooms. Oh well.
I ran out of mix. I guess I'm ging to have to get through late winter with just the drunknensess I've aleady got, bcuz theres no way I'm drinkigng vodka or whiskey straight at this point.
As for how much I've had... I don't know, I lost count.
BITE ME I'M DRUNK
I caught up on the bedrooms. They're suck-ass bedrooms but they have beds and doors. I even have some extra beds in extra rooms for when there's migrants, just set the doors to get built and then assing the besd. Easy.
Even mafter making a bazzjilnty graves, someone STILL managed to turn into a gost. Props to you for your tenacity Etur, but I will prevail! Eat slabs!
I think me and someone else are tag-rteam-wrestling a capybara and winning, bjust... very slowly.
OH LOOK IT'S FUCKING FINALLY SPRING
that only took six hours.
Anyway, I made it over to the secondary adamantine chute, next overseer can finish mining it out. Or not. IDC.