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[Ochita]

Jonathan looks at the ball of light, backing away slowly, until he reaches his computer, showing the pesterchum window, with someone pestering him.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

SL: Hello?

LR: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
LR: THERES A SPRITE, THING IN MY ROOM
LR: Okay hold on a second. Gonna try throwing something at it.

Jonathan, with a cry, throws the nearest thing at the sprite/ball of energy, this case, it was the Touhou poster.
Throw touhou poster at sprite

[Blade Master Model 42]

I'll tag the +2. Penny SMASH.

[Dermonster]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

SL: Hello?
LR: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
LR: THERES A SPRITE, THING IN MY ROOM
LR: Okay hold on a second. Gonna try throwing something at it.
SL: I-
SL: You know what, I don't care. Tell me when you're available. It is somewhat urgent.

[TherosPherae]

Jack: Deploy everything. Do what you can to avoid accidental toilet destruction this time.

[Liber celi]

>ACHIM: Oh man, viral marketing agai- wait, what?

Spoiler: Show pesterlog (click to show/hide)

SG: you know you guyƨ ∀re ∀ huge pit∀
SG: ive been tryin to tr∀ck you down for p much weekƨ now
SG: but nope IP getƨ to you before i c∀n even find where the hell weƨt germ∀ne iƨ
SG: giveƨ you the fuckin ∀mulet juƨt ∀b∀ndonƨ uƨ
SG: we only h∀d two you know
SG: you're b∀ƨic∀lly cre∀ting ƨc∀rcity in the m∀gic∀l worthleƨƨ ∀mulet dep∀rtment
SG: wh∀tever i fin∀lly found one of you thiƨ "penny" girl
SG: ƨheƨ re∀l d∀ngerouƨ but not like the Rogue iƨ
SG: im he∀ding in now, b∀i
DD: yeah, thanks for this trinket. I just wish you would tell me--
DD: One moment. Penny?
DD: Oookay, which kind of Creep are you now, the enthusiastic Telemarketer kind of Sucker or the sociopathic psychothriller serial Killer kind of unreasonably intelligent killing Machine?
DD: What I am trying to say is, you should take care of yourself in any Case. Because Penny will BREAK you. As in, "punch you until you break down suffering lethal internal haemorrhage".
DD: Good Day!

>ACHIM: Calm down dude!
Okay, this guy is actually kind of giving you the creeps. Not his silly typing style... what's up with this Ss and As? Is he some kind of mentally deficient nazi? ...but the way he comes out of nothing, threatens people he shouldn't know of and refers to an amulet that is behaving strange in your inventory... It just doesn't sit right with you. Could this be some kind of elaborate prank... no.
Time is of the essence... and you hate it when time does shit like that.

Spoiler: show Pesterlog (click to show/hide)

darkeningDork[DD] began pestering prettyPugilist[PP]
DD: Hey, it's me again.
DD: Take a look at this please.
darkeningDork[DD] sent prettyPugilist[PP] the file "Somecreepkindofthreateningpennyorsomething.txt"
DD: Hope that helps. Do you know the guy?
DD: ...
DD: afk?
DD: Well, he will take a while to get to your house. If he even tries to get there. If this were a thriller, this would be an elaborate trap to catch one of us off-guard.
DD: Okay, in a bad thriller this SG dude would answer me now using your computer.
DD: Ha ha.
DD: Just... take care of this, alright?

You close the PESTERCHUM window before that SG dude can answer you using Penny's computer. Okay. No reason to worry now... it probably is going to be some kind of forced meme.
You will take a closer look at this pendant... LATER.
There are games to play.

>ACHIM: Take the CRUXITE PEN & JOURNAL and sit down on top of the CRUXTRUDER to espy feline advances in time!

[Blade Master Model 42]

>Penny: Receive text file.

You cannot receive the text file because you are a frothing ball of hate right now.

[freeformschooler]

I'll tag the +2. Penny SMASH.

ASPECT TAG! [Unarmed Combat (Fair) +1 vs. Escape Artist (Good) -1] You spend your last Fate Point to rush the clearly mistaken jerk with your fist. NOTE: You will not be able to resist the next Compel, if any.



You manage to knock him back into the wall. He pauses and coughs, but looks back up to you and hefts his wooden gun. He'll take a -1 to his next roll from the damage.

?: y∀ jerk if i could kill y∀ i would∀ by now truƨt me i w∀nn∀
?: but thereƨ only two w∀yƨ thoƨe goeƨ down
?: either you finiƨh yer ƨtupid puzzle ∀nd t∀ke me b∀ck with y∀
?: or i be∀t y∀ to ∀ pulp ∀nd port y∀ myƨelf
?: either w∀y y∀ ∀int gonn∀ eƨc∀pe me
?: wh∀tƨ it gonn∀ be?

Spoiler: Combat explanation (click to show/hide)

Combat in SUBURB: FATE version is just like a normal Dynamic Challenge based scene in FATE 2E. The main difference is Range. There's three possible ranges: Melee, Medium and Far. You can move between them at a rate of one per turn if you want to. Many weapons only have a specific range, and some have a variety of possible ranges but take a penalty outside of a specific one. Note: If you attempt to move back a range when you're at Far range from all your foes, this is considered to be an Abscond and will end the Strife.

Spoiler: Penny's Health Vial (click to show/hide)

Minor damage: [][]
Major damage: [][]
Injured: [][]
Knocked out: []

Jack: Deploy everything. Do what you can to avoid accidental toilet destruction this time.

[Plumbing (Mediocre) +1] You easily deploy everything to Andrew.

Throw touhou poster at sprite

You launch the Touhou Poster at your sprite. A flash of light is seen, and the sprite morphs into... a bright-green version of Youmu Konpaku with a green sprite tail! Or maybe that's her ghost thingy. It's really hard to tell.

Spoiler: spritelog (click to show/hide)

YOUMUSPRITE: Greetings, new master.
YOUMUSPRITE: I am here to herald your arrival to LoMaD.
YOUMUSPRITE: With my Roukan-blade, forged by youkai, I shall defend you!

[Blade Master Model 42]

>Penny: Beat him unconscious. Consider further actions after.

[freeformschooler]

>Penny: Beat him unconscious. Consider further actions after.

[Unarmed Combat (Fair) -3 vs. Escape Artist (Good) -3] You dive at the annoying dude again, aiming at his head. However, with his gun pointed directly at the ground, he pulls a trigger and a blue portal opens under him immediately.



The portal fades and closes. After getting your bearings, it seems he's somehow hopped to a different corner of the room.

?: OM told me you were ∀ big g∀mer
?: m∀ybe y∀ recognize th∀t one
?: thiƨ next iƨ pretty ƨt∀nd∀rd though

He hefts his barrel in your direction, looks through the scope and pulls back his finger.

? you ∀in't gettin' ∀w∀y from me []

[Gunning (Fair) +2 vs. Running (Average) -1]



Three shots fly right by you so fast you would have missed them if you'd blinked. Luckily, he didn't manage to hit you.

...Wait, no, you look down and you're almost certainly bleeding from your right hip. Ow! Talk about a delay. (MAJOR DAMAGE: You will take -1 to all combat rolls for the duration of the Strife.)

Spoiler: Penny's Health Vial (click to show/hide)

Minor damage: [][]
Major damage: [X][]
Injured: [][]
Knocked out: []

[Blade Master Model 42]

>Penny: Take cover behind the sarcophagus. Pluck something suitably heavy from your sylladex to throw at him.

[freeformschooler]

>Penny: Take cover behind the sarcophagus. Pluck something suitably heavy from your sylladex to throw at him.

You take cover behind the sarcophagus. It will provide a temporary +1 to defenses. Or it would if your defensive skill wasn't called RUNNING. Either way, you eject a chair from your Syllabus.

[Improvised Weaponry (Mediocre) -2 -1 vs. Escape Artist (Good) +1]



He twirls on his feet again to dodge out of the way. Your hip is really hurting your combat mojo here. Hefting his stick-gun again, he points and shoots.



[Gunning (Fair) -3 vs. Hiding (Mediocre) +3 -1]

Luckily, the sarcophagus provides suitable cover, and you remained unharmed from his next volley.

?: wow you ∀re ∀ bitch to fight
?: i kind∀ like you though, you remind me of me ∀nd UT defending the Cit∀del
?: it'ƨ w∀y more efficient to fight dirty

[ShoesandHats]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[01:08] -- avianAxepert [AA] began pestering pseudoSkeptic [PS] at 13:08 --
[01:08] AA: yo
[01:08] PS: Goddamnit.
[01:09] PS: One day, you will stop bothering me, and it will be the best damned day of my life.
[01:09] AA: oh come on
[01:09] AA: i'm not that bad, am i?
[01:09] PS: Yes.
[01:09] PS: Yes you are.
[01:10] AA: whatfeather
[01:10] AA: just
[01:10] AA: listen to me for a second
[01:11] PS: Fine.
[01:11] PS: No doubt what you'll have to say will be vague and unhelpful.
[01:11] AA: well
[01:12] AA: probably a little less vague and unhelpful than usual
[01:12] PS: Good.
[01:15] AA: so
[01:15] AA: thing #1 you gotta do right now
[01:16] AA: you gotta turn the cranky thing on the side of the tube-looking machine
[01:17] AA: if the lid doesn't come off give it a good thwack with your book
[01:17] PS: Okay.
[01:18] PS: And what exactly happens when I do those things?
[01:18] AA: you'll see
[01:18] AA: and i guess owl tell you wren you get to that part
[01:20] AA: aaaand then for the second thing to have to do
[01:21] AA: you have to put the thing that comes out of the tubey machine into that weird like
[01:21] AA: lathe-looking thing
[01:22] AA: and put the card into the slot in the same machine
[01:22] PS: Well, those descriptions certainly help.
[01:23] PS: Next, you'll be telling me to put the thingy into that one other thing, and you'll expect me to know what you're talking about.
[01:23] AA: okay look i think my descriptions are sufficient
[01:23] AA: just
[01:24] AA: bluh
[01:24] AA: okay third on the agenda is you gotta put the result of the lathey-thingy onto the smaller platform of the platformy-thingy
[01:25] AA: and then i'm not entirely sure i can help you past that point
[01:26] PS: And how exactly do you know that I have to do these things?
[01:26] AA: do you really expect me to answer that question
[01:26] PS: No.
[01:26] AA: that's what i thought
[01:26] AA: now go
[01:27] AA: do the stuff
[01:27] AA: do all of it
[01:27] PS: I guess I'll take your word for it.
[01:28] PS: But if this ends up screwing me over, believe me, you will NEVER hear the end of it.
[01:28] AA: yeah yeah
[01:28] AA: that's all the help i have to offer right now so
[01:28] AA: bye
[01:29] PS: Yup.
[01:29] PS: Bye.
[01:29] -- avianAxepert [AA] ceased pestering pseudoSkeptic [PS] at 13:29 --

>Andrew: Turn the 'cranky-thingy.'

[Liber celi]

>ACHIM: Look into that journal!

[Blade Master Model 42]

"You're gonna like me a lot less when I show your nose what the inside of your brain looks like!"

>Penny: Captchalogue the lid for the sarcophagus. Chuck more junk at this asshole.

[ShoesandHats]

>Andrew: Realize that some weird machinery stuff just randomly appeared in your house and flip the fuck out

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[02:28] -- pseudoSkeptic [PS] began pestering avianAxepert [AA] at 14:28 --
[02:28] PS: Hey.
[02:29] PS: I almost forgot to ask:
[02:29] PS: What the fuck?
[02:29] AA: what
[02:29] PS: As in, where the fuck did these weird machines come from?
[02:31] AA: i dunno
[02:32] PS: I mean, seriously.
[02:32] PS: What in the everloving fuck is going on here?
[02:32] PS: These things just appeared out of goddamned nowhere.
[02:33] AA: look all i know is that they're all really important game constructs
[02:33] PS: Okay.
[02:33] PS: What are these game constructs doing in my fucking house?
[02:34] AA: look you know how this game is kinda like
[02:34] AA: uh
[02:34] AA: i'm trying to think of the name here
[02:34] AA: 'the sims'?
[02:34] PS: Yeah.
[02:35] AA: well it's like the sims in real life almost
[02:35] PS: What.
[02:35] PS: The fuck.
[02:35] AA: just roll with it okay
[02:35] PS: I will not just roll with this shit.
[02:36] PS: The shape of this shit does not allow it to roll.
[02:36] AA: what do you want me to do about it
[02:36] AA: i don't know anything about the science behind it
[02:37] AA: or even if there is science behind it
[02:39] PS: Well, it's sure as hell not magic or something.
[02:39] AA: how can you be so sure
[02:40] PS: Because magic doesn't fucking exist.
[02:40] PS: Sorry for being so profane, it's just that...
[02:40] PS: This kind of shit doesn't usually happen.
[02:42] AA: i guess i understand
[02:42] AA: but still dude
[02:42] AA: calm the hell down
[02:42] PS: Okay, whatever.
[02:43] PS: I guess I'll just treat this like it was a dream.
[02:43] PS: In fact, it probably is.
[02:44] PS: A very vivid dream, but a dream nonetheless.
[02:45] AA: okay dude
[02:45] AA: you can go do your pretend dream shit i guess
[02:45] AA: just uh
[02:45] AA: treat it like real life i guess
[02:45] AA: i don't want you to get hurt
[02:48] PS: God, you sound like you're my mother.
[02:48] PS: That is, you would, if she wasn't dead.
[02:48] AA: oh
[02:48] AA: uh
[02:48] AA: sorry?
[02:49] PS: It's okay.
[02:49] PS: It's not like it was your fault.
[02:50] AA: well uh
[02:50] AA: bye
[02:50] AA: i guess
[02:51] PS: Yeah.
[02:51] PS: Bye.
[02:51] -- pseudoSkeptic [PS] ceased pestering avianAxepert [AA]