1 Granite, 511
Today, our current overseer -- the lass with the odd name -- sprinted up to me, threw a document and some keys at me, laughed evilly, and sprinted away. For somebody often teased as "Slowpoke," she certainly could get a move on. Anyway, when I came to look at the document, I almost fainted. it seems that I am the new overseer for this pit of perdition.
I am dumbstruck. Is this legitimate? Was I really voted into a position of responsibility without knowing it? Was this some move by the people who sent me here? Has this made me a target?
Regardless, this place is mine for the moment, so I need to play the part of overseer to the hilt. Must play it cool, avoid suspicion, act like a typical overseer. I don't know where anything is or what anything does. I can't make any sense of the fortress layout, I know nothing about projects larger than statue-carving, and I don't even know how to shut the front door. Perfect.
First: Get me a room -- a good one, with a good bed. Maybe I can get some good statues -- ones created by me rather than that hack Gizogin. And I can make it into a dining room, too, with a rocksalt table, so if my food isn't seasoned enough I can just rub it on the table.
Second: Get rid of some of these ghosts. I can't take them anymore. They won't leave me alone, and none of them have any new jokes. I can't find the paperwork on a couple of them, though, so their slabs will have to wait.
Third: Get Spishaban some better furniture. As our sheriff, she deserves it. It has nothing to do with being afraid of the guy in charge of the justice system or of her kill roster, which includes a titan.
Fourth: When I find whoever took my fedora, he will be making a one-way trip outside into the goo. I am having to make do with a horrible pig-tail fiber cap. You can't lurk menacingly in the shadows in a pig-tail cap.
Fifth: One of the lads -- a spinner named "ThatAussieDwarf" -- keeps looking at me oddly. Need to keep an eye on this one.
Sixth: Brew. Need brewage.
Seventh: We have prisoners in cages. We can have some entertainment! Begin digging an execution pit. Have the prisoners dragged through a dining room on their way to the doom room.
7 Slate, 511
Migrants! Spies, more likely; I had better keep an eye on these people, assuming they make it into the fortress alive. Population up to 62. How so? We had 53 and added 11 immigrants. How are we only at 62?
Oopsie: Id Kilsulus, Dwarven Baby has been found dead, dehydrated. When will the other shoe drop?
22 Felsite, 511
Count Eric has ended a mandate! Armok be praised! I had no idea there was a mandate. Melbil the soaper paid the price but is no worse the wear for his hammering. Two whacks from Echostatic, the Hammerer, and he has not so much as a bruise. Also, he's ecstatic.
7 Malachite, 511
More migrants. Apparently, word has spread of the recent improvements in
my some of the living space in Horrorfailed. Coincidentally (or not? TAD?), we are under attack from a Forgotten Beast, one
Leto Letothefin Sedastshishen. ("Leto the Fin?" I may need to look into the existence of dwarfish gangsters.) Eyewitness reports state that Leto is "an enormous hairy pterosaur. It has a pair of spindly antennae and it squirms and fidgets. Its fuchsia hair is very curly. Beware its poisonous bite!" Leto is on level 95, near EmeraldWind.
Fortunately, EmeraldWind the Legendary Marksdwarf is in the vicinity of two wolf pups who bravely take on Leto! Unfortunately, Emeraldwind is carrying neither a crossbow nor a quiver, so she opts for punching Leto in the tongue from behind, which I will bet was a surprise to both of them. I have ordered EW's squad, the Reputed Rims, to muster for battle a z-level above, along with the Rags of Breath and the Rough Crotch-Pinnacles, but the tongue-bloodlust is upon her and she will not be stopped. Now she is kicking and biting, when she should be running. If Leto gets any of its poison into her veins it will be all over for EmeraldWind. I order all three squads to attack Leto . . .
. . . so naturally we are attacked by another beast -- Oxut Nomartega Thretelhode:
Rhyolite, wings, and poisonous vapors. Uh oh.
Oxut tears into poor Olin Stukosliruk, taking him down by the (sheep wool trousers) and exhaling poisonous vapors. A finger-lock, a kick, and for all I know a dive off of the top rope later, Olin is nearly down for the count! What will our hero do?
Nothing, actually, except continue to serve as a chew toy for Oxut. Meanwhile, EmeraldWind is in a dance contest with Leto (lots of "The Forgotten Beast misses The Marksdwarf!"), but Oxut has now broken Olin's ankle. Can nothing save him? Is there no one who will come to his aid?
Well, no. But EmeraldWind finally has some help with Leto. Arcangelsd, Sabretache, and Ledi, along with their comrades in arms, are there to protect our bravely dancing Marksdwarf!
Olin, however, is on his own, savaged, brutalized, and rotting away from the poisonous vapors. Picture two pages of really disgusting text describing broken limbs, swollen tongues, and rotting eyes. Wait -- you don't have to! Here they are!
Somewhere in the middle of all of this, EmeraldWind becomes an Elite Marksdwarf. Meanwhile, Ledi is putting the "Crazy" in "Crazy Cat Lady" by using the flat of her axe more than the blade. No matter, though; Leto is down! The crowd goes wild! Arcangelsd is credited with the kill.
Now comes the hard part: Oxut. I order the construction of a wall to keep Oxut down below until we can come up with a good plan. Let's see if we can get it done before he makes it up the stairs. Naturally, just as I give the order, I receive word of a thief's being spotted at the entrance. Ashsaber took care of our kobold friend.
Hmmm. Within the space of two days, we have had two FB attacks in the depths followed by thieves testing our defenses on the surface. This is no coincidence; this was too well-planned.
While I was pondering the best way to go after Oxut, Helgoland got herself kicked to death by a reindeer corpse out in the muckmist. Why? Why was she out there?
A diplomat has left unhappy. He cannot possibly fathom how little I care. Arcangelsd, hero -- or at least glory-grabber -- of the Battle in the Depths with Leto has died to another reindeer corpse. Again, he should never have been outside. I can only assume that the kobold thief was sent in as bait to draw our warriors out. Who hates us that much out there?
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Topic: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - Please do not feed the nobles (Read 577904 times)