DISCLAIMER: The fort's management will not be held responsible if, hypotheticaly, an Aussie, a non-existent creature of myth, stabs you and steals your identity. Proceed at your own risk. If it turns out that Aussies exist and one stabs you and steals your identity, please inform the fort vampire so he or she can
feed on you handle the problem.
Shit. History is repeating itself. AGAIN. I guess we just don't ever learn from the past.
Hey let's try building a cannon!
Most accurate description of the forts to date.
Also, there's corpses everywhere and at the moment the only 2 dwarves capable of any work are currently attending a party. That's the fort in a nutshell really.
Hey guys, just checked in again to see what you were doing with th
FUCK
So, apparently, Horrorfailed is self-aware and hates Linux.
Gentlemen we have created an Eldritch Abomination. Well done.
Hey guys, I left for a bit and-
...
What the hell is going on here? Dwarves getting in the fort? Dwarves being happy? Dwarves working? What the fuck happened when I was gone?
I believe this is more accurate...
Seven dwarves stood before Kûbuk, the general of The Sacrificial Sword. They had been dragged to his office from the dungeons of Bodicereleased, where they had been previously imprisioned for several charges, including, but not limited to, stealing socks, starting a tavern brawl, aiding philosophers and consorting with kobolds.
For most prisioners, being summoned by Kûbuk was a death sentence, and for these dwarves, it'd be no different.
"Listen up, you criminal scum! His magnificence, King Ïngiz, has declared that you are to go to the area known as The Brutal Tundras of Gristle, and dig a "fortress" for yourselves there. More of your filthy criminal friends will be sent each year, until no more criminals taint the glory of The Sacrificial Sword. You'll be given a wagon and supplies to ensure you get there. If you have questions or complaints, I don't want to hear them. Now, get moving!"
Without any choice or opportunity to complain, the dwarves were escorted to the already prepared wagon and sent on their way, without any idea of the hell-hole they were being sent to.
---
If you haven't already, read
Battlefailed,
Failcannon and
Hellcannon.
Or get it from the archive as either
a .doc or
a pdf (note: the doc will always be the most up to date. The pdf may not be up to date. doc made by myself, pdf by helf)
TURN LIST:
(
CobaltBlue = waiting for confirmation;
MicrolineCyan = currently playing;
OlivineGreen = turn complete;
CinnabarRed = skipped)
1 -
ThatAussieGuy - First try. Fort dead
2 -
Gizogin - Reclaimed
3 -
Deathsword - Entire fort population (save 2) wiped out twice
4 -
armeggedonCounselor Population went from 4 to 4.5
5 -
DevilEd - Aquifer defeated
6 -
Sinpwn - The curse strikes again
7 -
CatalystParadox - Happy dwarves. The horror
8 -
Spish - When a quail attacks
9 -
Eric Blank - The Barony of Horrorfailed
10 -
SethCreiyd - The County of Horrorfailed
11 -
Strategia - Another soul consumed by the fort
12 -
Lord Slowpoke - Horrorfailed > Weather
13 -
Silverlock Count Eric the Blank is now Count Eric the Dead
14 -
arcangelsd Brains...
15 -
Mr Space Cat Minimalistic turn
16 -
Dark_T_Zeratul How to pump: Fail edition
17 -
Urist Imiknorris18 -
Megaman 332119 -
RhymeNorReason20 -
ThatAussieGuy21 -
inspiredsimji22 -
Crocatowa23 -
Greasemunky IT LIVES!
24 -
Dinjoralo The Shit
25 -
Andreus Description/Subtitle Pending.
26 -
Deathsword Partial turn, low FPS strikes again.
27 -
NCommander28 -
Johuotar29 -
Neotemplar30 -
gchristopher31 - StLeibowitz
32 - rrigdway
33 - laularukyrumo
34 - CatalystParadox
35 - Helgoland
36 - Eric Blank
37 - Silverlock
38 - Temporarily9
39 - Dark_T_Zeratul
40 - The Master
41 - Crocatowa
42 - Ieb
43 - sensei_shade
44 - Sumyunguy
Author
Topic: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - Please do not feed the nobles (Read 577648 times)