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Author Topic: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - Please do not feed the nobles  (Read 576724 times)

SpaceKGreen

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #930 on: October 19, 2012, 08:31:47 am »

Space, who... well...
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I like how he has almost no personality compared to everyone else. With a title like "Makes The Weapons," it figures he'd be a blunt individual.

Glaciergold, heh.  Good name.

Wait... "admired own fine Seat"?  What.

-----

Echoes from a forgotten forge...

Mah name is Space.

KLANG

And I makes tha weapons.

KLANG

I don't use tha weapons...

KLANG

I don't tell others what ta do with tha weapons...

KLANG

I jes' makes tha weapons.

KLANG

Not mah fault Dumbarse McNoblesson went and whacked Urist McDukesboy using an axe I made...

KLANG

But no, they can't punish a noble's kid, now can they?

KLANG

Now they be sending me and mah wife to some 'Mok-forsaken fortress in tha middle of nowhere, even though I'm the bes' damn smith they've got.

KLANG

Screw 'em.

KLANG

Screw 'em all.

KLANG

This is a masterwork steel axe.  On the item is an image of a dwarf and a noble.  The dwarf is making a rude gesture.

-----

Echoes on a foul wind...

...'Mok dammit.

Is this fortress set up in tha middle o' 'Mok's freaking bathroom floor?!
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Dinjoralo

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #931 on: October 19, 2012, 03:02:37 pm »

*Super long thing*
This is a brilliant piece of writing. If it wasn't so long, and was more related to the events in the fort, I would recommend this for the OP. Alas, I cannot.
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Clover Magic

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #932 on: October 19, 2012, 03:08:39 pm »

I has a dorf!  I laughed at the whole "leprechaun" bit.  I also like how he likes coffins.  Very fitting for this fort.
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CatalystParadox

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #933 on: October 19, 2012, 03:09:13 pm »

*Super long thing*
This is a brilliant piece of writing. If it wasn't so long, and was more related to the events in the fort, I would recommend this for the OP. Alas, I cannot.

On that note, I'd like to recommend that Spish's turn get special billing (bolded, glowing, something?) in the turn list, as it seems like one of the more epic turns in this fort certainly if not Battlefailed history.
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My proud turn in Failcannon | Uzolnom - "Oiledgod"

Quote from: Mego
I opened up the Unread Replies page and saw that you were the last poster. I got scared. Something about you posting scares me, ever since Failcannon.

Teneb

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #934 on: October 19, 2012, 04:08:17 pm »

*Super long thing*
This is a brilliant piece of writing. If it wasn't so long, and was more related to the events in the fort, I would recommend this for the OP. Alas, I cannot.

On that note, I'd like to recommend that Spish's turn get special billing (bolded, glowing, something?) in the turn list, as it seems like one of the more epic turns in this fort certainly if not Battlefailed history.
When he is done, I will.
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Monstrous Manual: D&D in DF
Quote from: Tack
What if “slammed in the ass by dead philosophers” is actually the thing which will progress our culture to the next step?

Eric Blank

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #935 on: October 19, 2012, 06:07:19 pm »

Maybe not in Battlefailed history, as your description of the massive tantrum spiral was pretty entertaining.

It's certainly the first year in Horrorfailed where everything's going pretty well!
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

CatalystParadox

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #936 on: October 19, 2012, 10:14:49 pm »

Maybe not in Battlefailed history, as your description of the massive tantrum spiral was pretty entertaining.

It's certainly the first year in Horrorfailed where everything's going pretty well!

Uh, yes, Doctor?  I've been noticing some swelling in my ego?
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My proud turn in Failcannon | Uzolnom - "Oiledgod"

Quote from: Mego
I opened up the Unread Replies page and saw that you were the last poster. I got scared. Something about you posting scares me, ever since Failcannon.

Mego

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #937 on: October 19, 2012, 10:30:03 pm »

Maybe not in Battlefailed history, as your description of the massive tantrum spiral was pretty entertaining.

It's certainly the first year in Horrorfailed where everything's going pretty well!

Uh, yes, Doctor?  I've been noticing some swelling in my ego?

Probably not best to say that here. Dwarven doctors are not to be trusted. They'll let you die of dehydration and not give any fucks.

Strategia

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #938 on: October 19, 2012, 10:49:09 pm »

Maybe not in Battlefailed history, as your description of the massive tantrum spiral was pretty entertaining.

It's certainly the first year in Horrorfailed where everything's going pretty well!

Uh, yes, Doctor?  I've been noticing some swelling in my ego?

Probably not best to say that here. Dwarven doctors are not to be trusted. They'll let you die of dehydration and not give any fucks.

Only if their medical skills are high enough. A low-skilled doctor would diagnose him with a broken femur, cut open his belly with a training axe and sew his intestines to his arm.

Mego

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #939 on: October 19, 2012, 11:13:34 pm »

Maybe not in Battlefailed history, as your description of the massive tantrum spiral was pretty entertaining.

It's certainly the first year in Horrorfailed where everything's going pretty well!

Uh, yes, Doctor?  I've been noticing some swelling in my ego?

Probably not best to say that here. Dwarven doctors are not to be trusted. They'll let you die of dehydration and not give any fucks.

Only if their medical skills are high enough. A low-skilled doctor would diagnose him with a broken femur, cut open his belly with a training axe and sew his intestines to his arm.

That would at least be an interesting experiment!

CatalystParadox

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #940 on: October 20, 2012, 02:01:10 am »

Maybe not in Battlefailed history, as your description of the massive tantrum spiral was pretty entertaining.

It's certainly the first year in Horrorfailed where everything's going pretty well!

Uh, yes, Doctor?  I've been noticing some swelling in my ego?

Probably not best to say that here. Dwarven doctors are not to be trusted. They'll let you die of dehydration and not give any fucks.

Only if their medical skills are high enough. A low-skilled doctor would diagnose him with a broken femur, cut open his belly with a training axe and sew his intestines to his arm.

That would at least be an interesting experiment!

My final words: "At least I die... knowing I... received praise... from an internet forum." *expires*
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My proud turn in Failcannon | Uzolnom - "Oiledgod"

Quote from: Mego
I opened up the Unread Replies page and saw that you were the last poster. I got scared. Something about you posting scares me, ever since Failcannon.

ThatAussieGuy

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #941 on: October 20, 2012, 02:30:05 am »

Then you'll wake up in Hell to find me standing over you with a strawberry smoothie in hand....

Teneb

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #942 on: October 20, 2012, 10:31:38 am »

Then you'll wake up in Hell to find me standing over you with a strawberry smoothie in hand....

And they lived happily dwarfily ever after.
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Monstrous Manual: D&D in DF
Quote from: Tack
What if “slammed in the ass by dead philosophers” is actually the thing which will progress our culture to the next step?

blarg552

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #943 on: October 20, 2012, 08:59:37 pm »

May I ask for an update on how the oddly shiny Dorfitron is doing?
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Dinjoralo

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #944 on: October 20, 2012, 09:19:47 pm »

Hey, I was reading through Hellcannon, and I came across this:
...Gamemaster catches a case of the melancholy. Once the fortress has calmed down, I shall commission a silver statue in her honour.
A skeletal polar bear is drinking the booze the elves left behind. Somehow.
Urist is beating random people for being criminals. With gusto...
Yes.
EDIT: Someone please draw a polar bear skeleton drinking illicit wine.
« Last Edit: October 20, 2012, 09:31:50 pm by Dinjoralo »
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