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Poll

Bad Drawing Livestream

Yes
- 156 (42.6%)
No
- 17 (4.6%)
I have no opinion and prefer to select the zany "other" option on forum polls
- 193 (52.7%)

Total Members Voted: 364


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Author Topic: I badly draw your reports!  (Read 333848 times)

Sabretache

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #645 on: October 07, 2012, 03:44:09 am »

In a recent fortress on mine I embarked on a frozen river inside a mountain. The river thawed and all my dwarves drowned while being battered by barrels.
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Things are very seldom what they seem. In my experience, they’re usually a damn sight worse.

Ki11aGhost

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #646 on: October 07, 2012, 12:02:34 pm »

In a recent fortress on mine I embarked on a frozen river inside a mountain. The river thawed and all my dwarves drowned while being battered by barrels.

Reminded me of that scene in The Hobbit where they escape the Wood Elf King's castle. The river wasn't frozen or anything, but they were swept away from a fortress in barrels.
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GoombaGeek

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #647 on: October 07, 2012, 10:18:01 pm »

I got way behind on these. Prepare for a ridiculous post.
I had a somewhat similar situation to Beast Tamer, with dust clouds bringing lifeless husks of sadness and death-huggles. A few stray kittens had been killed as result of a goblin ambush, and I had (stupidly) left them outside to rot. When they were not all that surprisingly turned into carnage machines (about 7 in total, I think) I holed up in my fortress, which had no competent military force at the time, and left a poor miller outside to die. I then watched in a mixture of wonder and horror as the undead kittens proceeded to kill him in the slowest way physically possible, chasing him all over the map and bruising all sorts of things. He was finally ended when he dodged into a pool of stagnant water and drowned.



those sparks
Neatly folded.  In a cabinet.  In his bedroom.  Along with all of the rest of his useless crap belongings.

He has a picture of them in his wallet, and will show you, even if you didn't ask.  Kind of like an annoying first time parent.

Now THAT'S an image!

I am forced to agree with you...
...this time.
Have fun with this one:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

(You were killed by the circus, if that's any help.)

wait
you mean the circus means something else?
holy crap guys
so this adamantine isn't really a portal to festive merriment?
Hai gais i brought an axe


ÑÑÑ

yaaay i'm helping

I DIDN'T AXE FOR YOUR HELP



FUCK YOU SCAVENGERS. THIS IS MYYYYYYY LOOT.

"Look, my hammer is crafted out of aerogel and filled with helium!"
Oh Goomba, I wanna see what spore-reproduction looks like. Mid-catsplosion.  :D

this month's national geographic had an image of a swarm of fish swimming in a cloud of fish sperm because apparently this is what fish do during the full moon
that image may have influenced this picture
#3. One of my speardwarfs emerged from an encounter with only a severe beard injury. X! Broken tissue, D! Heavy damage, In infection. He went to the hospital to Rest Injury. The Chief Medical Dwarf diagnosed him, then she washed his beard with Giant Cave Spider Soap (for the silkiness?), and sutured (?grafted? braided?) the beard with forgotten beast hair thread. (I know for a fact that my only hairy forgotten beast at that point was a triclops salamander with flowing pink hair.) They apparently had an "I love you doctor!" moment, because they married as soon as he got out of bed.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

This was too precious not to share.



"Hey, Obok, how come you smashed that gnome's skull with your fists, but failed to damage a single goblin in the Siege of Legends?"
"All the goblins did was abduct my only child and strangle my wife with her own intestines. But this bastard drank my booze."
In the recent !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! update by Wrex, the whole fort died, me included. The only difference is that my body parts killed about 10 different dwarves together, some of them earning titles, and my intestines strangled someone. With lack of further details, I just imagine my dorf walking along and then suddenly exploding into a fighting force of severed body parts.

Goomba, in my recent challenge fort this happened
Draw it, you know you want to.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Two goblin ambush parties appear - both have elves in them!

In a recent fortress on mine I embarked on a frozen river inside a mountain. The river thawed and all my dwarves drowned while being battered by barrels.

This reminds me of my lakeside resort fortress, Beachquiet.
The lake to the north froze every winter and thawed in mid-spring.
My first giant migrant wave arrived from the north, trekking across the frozen lake.
The lake thawed.
All forty of my ONLY VALUABLE MIGRANTS EVER (about 5 metalworkers, between them Great in every metalworking skill, a Great gem cutter, tons of Great mechanics, and more) plunge beneath the waves in one giant tragic splash.
:(
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My wooden badge was delicious.

bucket

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #648 on: October 07, 2012, 10:24:52 pm »

Reminds me of the first time I tried waterfalls in my fortress. Unfortunately, I hadn't figured out drainage just yet, so when half the river froze, my legendary meeting hall flooded and drowned many dwarves. I hadn't installed floodgates, so soon my entire population was wading in waist-high water. I didn't have time to think. I decided to sacrifice one dwarf to dig out a tunnel for the water to escape. That was when I learned about the toilet effect.
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Xantalos

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #649 on: October 07, 2012, 10:25:20 pm »

In the recent !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! update by Wrex, the whole fort died, me included. The only difference is that my body parts killed about 10 different dwarves together, some of them earning titles, and my intestines strangled someone. With lack of further details, I just imagine my dorf walking along and then suddenly exploding into a fighting force of severed body parts.

Voltron dorf. Best. Thing. EVER.
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Sig! Onol
Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
Quote from: Toaster
((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

misko27

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #650 on: October 07, 2012, 10:26:05 pm »

-snip-
WAIT NO DAMNIT.

I forgot to include this. From the wonderful world of Necrothreat:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

...

That was fast. He took three pieces of golld nuggets and one tetrahedrite.
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The Age of Man is over. It is the Fire's turn now

TruePikachu

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #651 on: October 07, 2012, 10:32:28 pm »

Make sure you post the artifact's description for GoombaGeek to engrave
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He likes Pokémon, composing ≡«☼characters☼»≡, Windows for its compatability, Linux for its security, and Pikachu for its electric capabilities. When possible, he prefers to consume pasta. He absolutely detests Apple.

hops

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #652 on: October 07, 2012, 10:34:05 pm »

While asking around the best misc weapon ever somebody suggested containers.
I promptly made a swordsman with experience in misc object and obtained a coffin from my retired fort where she would stuff the bodies of her conquered foes inside. After 4 kills I switched to using the coffin to bludgeon people, and a while later I have some dragons inside. The strike would make the victim fly into things and explode in gore.
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she/her. (Pronouns vary over time.) The artist formerly known as Objective/Cinder.

One True Polycule with flame99 <3

Avatar by makowka

Sabretache

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #653 on: October 08, 2012, 04:57:00 am »

I have another tragic story involving the terror that is water.

I was installing a well in my hospital with the large reservoir of water below it. At the time I didn't know about water pressure (the water was coming directly from a river) and assumed it would fill up safely with no problems. A while later while building up my entrance I get the messgage "Urist McFisherdwarf has been missing for 1 week!" After searching the river for him to no avail I decided to check the fortress. As I look I realize something isn't quite right... The whole hospital has been flooded!

I have come to the conclusion that Urist McFisherdwarf noticed the hospital starting to flood and heroically, disregarding his own safety, jumped into the well in order to try seal of the water.
This obviously didn't work with him now stuck in a well with with 7 deep water both below and above him.

I will not forget his sacrifice...



PS. Good work with the drawings!
« Last Edit: October 08, 2012, 04:59:04 am by Sabretache »
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Things are very seldom what they seem. In my experience, they’re usually a damn sight worse.

Noobazzah

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #654 on: October 08, 2012, 08:18:19 am »

I realised that my current world is boring when my legendary engraver started making engravings of his own engravings relating to his previous engravings. Of masterwork silk socks, presumably.
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misko27

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #655 on: October 08, 2012, 12:06:59 pm »


FUCK, NOTE TO SELF, MAKE A FUCKING CORPSE AND REFUSE STORAGE FIR- WAIT, A FUCKING ZOMBIFIED HAIR IS KILLING US OFF!?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

...WOW. FUCKING WOW. THAT IS FUNNY AND FUCKING PATHETIC AT THE SAME TIME.

YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING STUPID.

OKAY, THERE'S THIS GUY WHO'S PROBABLY READING THIS THREAD RIGHT NOW. GOOMBAGEEK HIS NAME IS. I KNOW HE CAN MAKE SOME PRETTY FUCKING AWESOME PICTURES OF REPORTS. SO GOOMBAGEEK, IF YOU CAN DRAW A PICTURE OF ANY MOMENT IN THAT ZOMBIFIED HORSE HAIR REPORT, YOU GET THE HONOR OF BEING ONE OF THE FIRST 7 DWARVES THAT MANAGE TO SURVIVE AN UPDATE. AND IF IT'S FUNNY ENOUGH, I'LL USE IT AS MY AVATAR.
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RedMageCole

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #656 on: October 08, 2012, 12:12:16 pm »


FUCK, NOTE TO SELF, MAKE A FUCKING CORPSE AND REFUSE STORAGE FIR- WAIT, A FUCKING ZOMBIFIED HAIR IS KILLING US OFF!?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

...WOW. FUCKING WOW. THAT IS FUNNY AND FUCKING PATHETIC AT THE SAME TIME.

YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING STUPID.

OKAY, THERE'S THIS GUY WHO'S PROBABLY READING THIS THREAD RIGHT NOW. GOOMBAGEEK HIS NAME IS. I KNOW HE CAN MAKE SOME PRETTY FUCKING AWESOME PICTURES OF REPORTS. SO GOOMBAGEEK, IF YOU CAN DRAW A PICTURE OF ANY MOMENT IN THAT ZOMBIFIED HORSE HAIR REPORT, YOU GET THE HONOR OF BEING ONE OF THE FIRST 7 DWARVES THAT MANAGE TO SURVIVE AN UPDATE. AND IF IT'S FUNNY ENOUGH, I'LL USE IT AS MY AVATAR.

THANKS FOR SAVING ME THE COPYPASTE
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Jahsg

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #657 on: October 08, 2012, 12:26:13 pm »

This made me laugh out loud. Am i a horrible person?

warning... Candy spoiler
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: October 08, 2012, 12:29:06 pm by Jahsg »
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Loud Whispers

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #658 on: October 08, 2012, 12:35:23 pm »



Trees will kick your axe

Urist_McGamer

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #659 on: October 08, 2012, 12:44:46 pm »

This made me laugh out loud. Am i a horrible person?

warning... Candy spoiler
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
How exactly does one obtain a goblin baby? In other words, how is goblin babby formd?
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But others might prefer to have the mess contained behind windows to avoid tracking blood all over the their nice, color coordinated floor patterns. Kind of the Ozzy Osborne vs. Martha Stewart debate.
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