I know what to do. EVERYBODY! HELP ME SUMMON SPONGEBOB TO ANNOY THE LICH!
ALSO, SUMMON SPONGEBOB TO ANNOY THE LICH WHILE WE (SCP-682PA LOOMPAS) SING A SONG OF SACCHARINE HAPPINESS.
(1) YOU DO NOT SUMMON SPONGEBOB. YOU BECOME SPONGEBOB. YOU HAVE BEEN TRANSPORTED TO BIKINI BOTTOM.
Time machine....
I travel forward in time and get blueprints for the time machine.
Then I travel back to five minutes before I got to the battle and tell me to pray to misko27, so he becomes a god the first time he tries.
Then I put the fire orb into the freezer to see what happens.
(2) NO. THE BUTTONS ARE WAY TO CONFUSING FOR YOU TO WORK. I MEAN, WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO SUBTRACT 1?
CREATE OWN FACTION, AWAY FROM THIS BOSS, MAYBE CREATE A NICE FARMING VILLAGE? OR A MOUNTAIN VIEW? THEY SAY THE HUNGRY PEOPLE WOULD FIND THE VIEW AMAZING.
(3) YOU ESTABLISH A GHETTO.
TEAM UP WITH OTHER HEROES USING CHAOS ORB TO EITHER HELP ACTIONS OR DO COMBINATION ATTACK.
(1) NOONE LIKES YOU, SO YOU TEAM UP WITH NOTHING. KNOWING WHAT TO DO, YOU NOD AT NOTHING, BEFORE JUMPING INTO ITS ACCEPTING ARMS. WAIT A SEC. YOU PLUMMET, TOWARDS NOTHING IN PARTICULAR.
Uh...Er, Unleash the ball of whatever-it-is at the stupid heroes!
(1) YOU DEVOUR IT, INTENDING TO PASS IT THROUGH YOUR BOWELS, TO MAKE IT BOTH LETHAL AND SMELLY. THAT DOES NOT GO WELL. AT ALL. YOU ARE CURRENTLY BLIND, SHEDDING YOUR SKIN, BLEEDING FROM ALL ORIFICES, AND ARE COVERED WITH RASHES. AS WELL AS OTHER THINGS.
AMASS ARMY OF POPULAR PEOPLE IN CULTURE, BOTH REAL AND FICTIONAL, SIMILAR TO LEMON DEMON'S "ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN OF ULTIMATE DESTINY." (That was the shit back in 6th grade.)
(1) YOU AMASS AN ARMY OF FAMOUS CHARACTERS, BUT THEY FORM A MASSIVE COALITION TO KILL YOU, JUST LIKE POOR CHUCK.
CONTINUE BEING DICK DESPITE LOSS OF ACTUAL DICK.
Because hey, I managed it when I was a FREAKING HAWAIIAN PIZZA, why WOULDNT I be able to as a albino?
ALSO JUMP IN FRONT OF CAERWYNS AIDS BALL, CONTRACTING SUPER AIDS, THEN TRANSFER MY BLOOD TO FAMILIES OF EVERYONE INVOLVED IN THIS.
BECAUSE ONCE AGAIN DICK
(1) NO. YOUR INEPTITUDE CAUSES THE GODS OF DICKITUDE THEMSELVES TO STRIKE YOU DOWN, TRIPPING YOU BEFORE STEALING YOUR THINGS!
Incinerate dick with fire breath, and then use my time machine to dump him in the Holocaust!
(6)YOU RUN UP TO THE DICK, INTENDING TO BURN HIM TO CINDERS. SADLY, WHEN THE GODS OF DICKITUDE TRIP HIM, HE FALLS ONTO YOU, CRUSHING YOU INTO SMALL PIECES. ALSO, A MUSH. JUST FYI.
((In that one part, I was just listing the orbs I had.))
FIND WAY TO GET KNOWLEDGE ORB. EAT IT, GET KNOWLEDGE BACK.
GET METAAAAAAAL MAGIC.
(5) YOU DEVOUR THE ORB OF KNOWLEDGE, GAINING OMNISCIENCE. UNLIKE THE CHICK FROM INDIANA JONES, YOU DO NOT EXPLODE, HOWEVER.
NO, METAPHYSICALITY IS MY DOWNFALL ONCE AGAIN!
CORRUPT THE MIND OF THE PINEAPPLE GOLEM USING SUBVERSIVE AND RADICAL LYRICS TO FORCE HIM TO ATTACK RODNEY.
Pray to help this!
(5+1) YOU CORRUPT THE MIND OF THE GOLEM. HE PULLS OUT A LAPTOP AND BEGINS BROWSING 4CHAN. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
I've also Decided to incincerate one non-follower/hero each turn, To make them convert, or die.
START WITH CAERWYN, CONVERT ALSO USING PAGANISM AND RAP AND METAL AND SHIT.
Incinerate dick with fire breath, and then use my time machine to dump him in the Holocaust!
FOR SOME REASON WHEN I READ THIS I THOUGHT IT WAS A COMMAND TO INCINERATE HIS OWN DICK. WAS VERY CONFUSED.
(1) YOU BURN DOWN YOUR TEMPLES, CAUSING YOUR VILLAGES TO RANDOMLY TAKE DAMAGE, RUINING YOUR ALIGNMENT.
WARN EVERYONE OF IMPENDING DIVINE VENGEANCE
ALSO EXPLAIN PREVIOUS PRAYER MORE CAREFULLY.
(4) "GOD'S PISSED. WATCH YOUR ASSES."
Dear god almight, this is the strangest RTD ever.
Harness the Power of Friendship, use it to boost everyone else's rolls!
(Oh really?)
(4) NEXT TURN, NEXT TURN.
Reminds me, I need to read through this thing.
...I just had an idea.
GET THREAD POSTED ON TV TROPES. LINK LICH TO IT.
(6) HE GETS FAMOUS, BECOMING AN INTERNET GOD!
Convence the lich to pull in the pistols and then create a shield of Ice around the sphere.
(4-2) HE MENTALLY PIMP SLAPS YOU. HE THOUGHT HE TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP!
((So first of all, Welcome to the RTD board, all you new faces!
And by that, I'm seeing a lot of new people lately. ))
Tiruin, having been rotting since the turn of the epoch, decides to SHATTER THE BIOLOGICAL LAW of GENETICS!
(Oh lawd, Tiruin's back. So, yeah, somehow the people have not quite yet defeated the Lich. Welcome back, and welcome to all you n00bs.))
(1) YOU START WITH YOUR OWN GENETICS, REMOVING YOURSELF FROM THE TIME STREAM.
JUMP 30 SECONDS INTO THE FUTURE AND STEAL A LIGHTSABER
REMOVE END CAP AND FIRE IT AT THE MAGIC ORB PURSE
(1) YOU JUMP 30 ETERNITIES INTO THE FUTURE, BEING LOST INSIDE THE ENDLESS VOID OF THE LICHS MIND.
(I'm really raging at my bad rolls now. i'm out of inspiration.)
Use cheat codes to escape paradoxia.
(4) WELCOME BACK TO HELL ON GALAXY CORE.
BOSS TURN:
(2+3) Zomara vanishes from the Lichs subconscious.
BOSS STATUS
Magic Incarnate
Spheres Discovered:
Flame-Misko
Frost-Lich
Gun-Lich
Blood-LICH
Chocolate-Xantalos
Meta-Miuaw62
Heart-Lich
Blood-Lich
Chaos-Dirg
Sound-Misko
Dragon-Green
Mud-Green
Light-Green
Imagination-Xantalos
Law-Lich
MINIONS
ZOMARA
1 PINEAPPLE GOLEM
The Wizard
NEUTRAL
WOLFCHILD DEMON OF WAR
CAERWYN HARBINGER OF PLAGUE
TIRUIN FAMINE BRNGER
RTD FAMINE BRINGER
NIRUR TORIR DARK CONVERSATIONALIST
CORAI, THE MOST RECENT TRAITOR
LUCAS
CHRISTEHCHRIS, FISH WIELDER
RAPTORFANGAMER, THE NEEDY
HEROES
GREENSTARFANATIC LIFE/LOVE INCARNATE AND LOVING HUSBAND
GREATWYRMGOLD, A DRAGON
YOINK, THE RETURNER
CORAI, THE SACRIFICE
XANTALOS, SCP-682/OOMPA LOOMPA
MISKO, SCREAMING NUTJOB
JETEX, MCCLAY SLAYER
DIRG, THE ULTIMATE PARTY CRASHER
LORDSLOWPOKE, THE NETHACK REFERENCE
TCM, TWOPACK
MIAUW62, THE WORLDS WORST STAGE
HANSLANDA, CTHULU
OBDURA, THE GUY I FORGOT
MISKO, THE GOD OF FLAME AND MUSIC
ARENA STATUS
DICK