The arena is prepared. Upper right, a nearly breached candy spire surrounded by obsidian; two cages to the left of the spire. One contains the crocodiles and some random wildlife; the other contains a captured dragon. We don't trust the crocodiles too much, however many of them there are, so the dwarves are placing a line of spikes and several bridges to close off the passageway. Adjoining the walkway is a shooting gallery for the marksdwarves.
A courageous "volunteer" breaches the spire and makes a run for it as the bridges are raised, miraculously surviving the experience.
The dwarves man the levers, and the melee begins. Will the crocodiles actually manage to make a dent in the popularion of clowns?
The first casualty is an emu, quickly followed by two cave crocodiles, both killed by the deadly frozen extract the Ecru Devils are fond of spitting. (Ecru? Seriously? Since when was that a color to anybody but interior decorators?)
The crocodiles fight like wrestlers, with strong jaws, but with the same tendency to randomly hold and release body parts. This lack of strategy will cost them.
The first demon casualty, a One-Eyed Demon, costs eighteen cave crocodiles and nearly all of the dozen or so Assorted Wildlife. A few moments later, a crocodile tears a Blizzard Monster into a flurry of snow body parts. But that will be the crocodiles' last victory.
Everything in the arena is now coated in blood, goo, vomit, and various ichors. Cave crocodiles are getting bashed into the walls. Spines and heads are being shattered all over the place, but they're getting their teeth into the demons too. The stocks menu shows various torn-off demon body parts scattered among the mass of cave crocodile teeth.
But then the firebreathing demons enter the arena, and for a long time everything is covered in smoke--and only one side in this fight is vulnerable to flames. I can smell a distinct odor of crocodile flambe.
The stocks screen confirms my fears: Crocodile corpses are burning and scattered all over the place. The fire-breathers are doing their work brutally, and about a hundred crocodiles are down. Crocodiles are getting caught in each others' boiling blood. In minutes, they'll all be dead.
The flames have burned open the cage containing the dragon. The demons mob and kill it easily before it has a chance to strike a single blow.
When the flames clear, every animal in the arena is dead, and only the demons remain.
At 10-20 FPS, the fight has taken less than five minutes.
The score is Crocodiles 2, HFS 365. A clear victory for the circus.
When the miasma clears, the dwarves will attempt to succeed where the crocodiles failed, using the backup spike traps and shooting gallery to take the enemy on a few at a time, hopefully impaling the flame-spitting demons on the adamantine spikes before they roast too many dwarves. It's a boring way to fight, but at least it doesn't involve being choked by the boiling blood of your squadmates.
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Topic: Crocsplosion! (Read 6662 times)