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[ottottott]

You're yet another of those newbie adventurers, heading down to a dungeon to stop some great evil or something, and try and become famous.
So, let's start with the dungeon. What shall the difficulty be? Easy, medium, or hard?
And what skills shall our hero have? We get to pick 7 of 43 skills. Oh what a great variety. Luckily this will only have to be done once. Per life. So try not to die, OK?
(I'll mark skills with a bold font. My sentences are purely illustrative. You can pick any 7 skills even if they seem to conflict with eachother.)
We got masteries of: swords, axes, maces, staves, arrows, thrown weaponry, our limbs (Y'know. Unarmed combat and whatnot.), and shields. Or we could ditch the shield and pick dual wielding. Or we could learn how to employ rage or evasion. Or make sure we don't put our armor on backwards. Maybe you'd prefer to be a vampire or werewolf instead? Maybe you'd like to create golems, or not be as squeamish and learn fleshsmithing. Or perhaps we should learn the magic of math, mind control, or undead economics. There's other magic as well. That of vikings, astrologers, fire, and even blood. Or you could stick to the dry knowledge of magic. You could go all sneaky and study burglary or assassination. There's also a wide variety of crafting knowledge available. Smithing, engineering, or even creating wands or potions. You could also train your perception or ability to regain magic. Maybe you want to know about fungi or archeology instead? Some of the final options include becoming a hunter, necromancer, vegetarian, or pirate. We could study demons, geology, or warlockry. And finally, you could be a clockwork knight or a rogue scientist.
I'll wait until a few people have voted on skills and then venture onwards. I'll try updating as often as possible, but if there are multiple suggestions between updates I'll choose based on what is suggested the most, what seems the best course of action, and who suggested earlier. In that order. So then, let's start picking. A 15 floor dungeon and great evil awaits us.

Spoiler: Stat Descriptions (click to show/hide)

No need to worry yourself with stats all too much. Higher stats are always better, just remember that.
There are 6 main stats:
Burliness - Affects HP, Melee Power, Block Chance
Sagacity - Affects MP, Magic Power
Nimbleness - Affects Dodge Chance, Sneakiness, Hit Chance, Counter-Attack Chance
Caddishness - Affects Critical Hit and Counter-Attack Chance
Savvy - Affects Haywire Chance, Sneakiness
Stubbornness - Affects Magical Resistance, Block Chance

And there are 14 less-important stats.
Melee Power - Each point gives 1 damage bonus to weapons and... limbs. Also thrown stuff, but not arrows.
Critical Chance - Each point gives 1 percent chance to deal double damage with a weapon upon hit.
Counter Chance - Each point gives 1 percent chance to deal an addition attack if an enemy hits you.
Magic Power - Affects the power and MP cost of your spells.
Haywire Chance - Affects the chance for a spell to deal extra... something.
Magic Resistance - Affects damage dealt to you from magical sources.
Armor Absorption - Each point blocks 1 unit of physical damage.
Block Chance - Each point gives 1 percent chance to mostly nullify a physical attack.
Dodge Chance - Each point gives 1 percent chance to dodge a physical attack.
Hit Chance - Gives a higher chance to hit enemies.
Sneakiness - Helps being unseen by enemies, not waking them, and the chance of not triggering traps.
Visual Sight Radius - Affects how far you can see.
Trap Sight Radius - Affects how far you can see traps.
Trap Affinity - Affects the chance of not triggering traps and successfully disarming them.

Spoiler: Inventory (click to show/hide)

Your inventory has 57 slots. Similar items occupy only 1 spot.
17 Boomerangs - 2 Dam - Throwing
4 Acid Flasks - 1 Dam, 1 Magic Dam - Throwing
6 Concussion Bombs - 4 Dam - Throwing
2 Sewer Brews - 6 MP - Drink
Cheese Log - 14 HP - Food
Weird Drink - 8 MP - Drink
Apple - 5 HP - Food
10 Lockpicks - Misc

Spoiler: Character (click to show/hide)

27 HP
28 MP
0 HP Regeneration Bonus
0 MP Regeneration Bonus
(They affect how fast you regenerate your HP and MP. You still regenerate at 0, just, rather slow.)
Resistances:
None
Melee Attack - 3
Ranged Attack - 0
Hat - Fedora - 2 Critical Chance, 4 Dodge Chance, 3 Counter Chance
Armor - Shirt - 1 Dodge Chance, 1 Counter Chance
Belt - None
Pants - None (O.o >.>)
Shoes - Sandals - 1 Dodge Chance
Right Hand - Wooden Sword - 2 Dam - Sword
Left Hand - None
Crossbow - None
Gloves - None
Amulet - None
Ring 1 - None
Ring 2 - None

Spoiler: Stats (click to show/hide)

Burliness - 8
Sagacity - 9
Nimbleness - 14
Caddishness - 13
Savvy - 14
Stubbornness - 10

Melee Power - 1
Critical Chance - 8
Counter Chance - 8
Magic Power - 5
Haywire Chance - 7
Magic Resistance - 5
Armor Absorption - 0
Block Chance - 2
Dodge Chance - 18
Hit Chance - 4
Sneakiness - 1
Visual Sight Radius - 0
Trap Sight Radius - 2
Trap Affinity - 1

[Bluesproto]

swords, thrown weaponry, dual wielding, evasion, knowledge of magic, assasination and perception

EDIT: Also, lets make it hard

[ottottott]

Glad there's a swift first reply. I think I'll wait until 5 replies or for another 135 minutes. Whichever comes first.

[Yoink]

>We are a piratical, dual-stave-wielding rogue scientist with a diploma in fleshsmithing, a Certificate in Demonology and a casual interest in Archaeology.
We like it hard.

[lopocozo]

>We are a piratical, dual-stave-wielding rogue scientist with a diploma in fleshsmithing, a Certificate in Demonology and a casual interest in Archaeology.
We like it hard.

+1

[ottottott]

Well, my patience is at an end, onwards to the dungeons. Hard difficulty it is. But the skills, there can only be 7.
You both picked dual wielding. I'll just roll a die for the other 6, picking 3 from either of yours' suggestions.
So... Archaeology, Evasion, Piracy, Thrown Weaponry, Fleshsmithing, aaand knowledge of magic, referred to Magic Knowledge from now on.
And, humm, I forgot to ask for a name for our hero. What shall it be?
Anyways...
You descend the stairs into the dungeon lying below. You first arrive to a room with a food vending machine to the west and drink vending machine to the east. In the room you also see some Sewer Brew, a Wooden Sword, and 10 Lockpicks. There's a door east, west, and south of you. But enough about the surroundings. You didn't come to this horrid place empty-handed. Well, technically you don't have anything in your hands at the moment, but still. You also discover that every item you own has a neat label on it, describing its stats. You quickly remember what you've been taught about stats and form a handy list with everything you need to know.

Spoiler: Stat Descriptions (click to show/hide)

I'll copy this over to the 1st post for easier access.
No need to worry yourself with stats all too much. Higher stats are always better, just remember that.
There are 6 main stats:
Burliness - Affects HP, Melee Power, Block Chance
Sagacity - Affects MP, Magic Power
Nimbleness - Affects Dodge Chance, Sneakiness, Hit Chance, Counter-Attack Chance
Caddishness - Affects Critical Hit and Counter-Attack Chance
Savvy - Affects Haywire Chance, Sneakiness
Stubbornness - Affects Magical Resistance, Block Chance

And there are 14 less-important stats.
Melee Power - Each point gives 1 damage bonus to weapons and... limbs. Also thrown stuff, but not arrows.
Critical Chance - Each point gives 1 percent chance to deal double damage with a weapon upon hit.
Counter Chance - Each point gives 1 percent chance to deal an addition attack if an enemy hits you.
Magic Power - Affects the power and MP cost of your spells.
Haywire Chance - Affects the chance for a spell to deal extra... something.
Magic Resistance - Affects damage dealt to you from magical sources.
Armor Absorption - Each point blocks 1 unit of physical damage.
Block Chance - Each point gives 1 percent chance to mostly nullify a physical attack.
Dodge Chance - Each point gives 1 percent chance to dodge a physical attack.
Hit Chance - Gives a higher chance to hit enemies.
Sneakiness - Helps being unseen by enemies, not waking them, and the chance of not triggering traps.
Visual Sight Radius - Affects how far you can see.
Trap Sight Radius - Affects how far you can see traps.
Trap Affinity - Affects the chance of not triggering traps and successfully disarming them.

Finished, and confident with this re-found knowledge, you look over your inventory.

Spoiler: Inventory (click to show/hide)

Your inventory has 57 slots. Similar items occupy only 1 spot.
17 Boomerangs - 2 Dam - Throwing
4 Acid Flasks - 1 Dam, 1 Magic Dam - Throwing
6 Concussion Bombs - 4 Dam - Throwing
Sewer Brew - 6 MP - Drink
Cheese Log - 14 HP - Food
Weird Drink - 8 MP - Drink
Apple - 5 HP - Food

You also decide to remember what spells you know. Sadly, only 1 comes to mind.

Spoiler: Spells (click to show/hide)

Zombiefication - 13 MP - Brings back a dead monster as a zombie.

Finally, you look over yourself.

Spoiler: Character (click to show/hide)

27 HP
28 MP
0 HP Regeneration Bonus
0 MP Regeneration Bonus
(They affect how fast you regenerate your HP and MP. You still regenerate at 0, just, rather slow.)
Resistances:
None
Melee Attack - 1
Ranged Attack - 0
Hat - Fedora - 2 Critical Chance, 4 Dodge Chance, 3 Counter Chance
Armor - Shirt - 1 Dodge Chance, 1 Counter Chance
Belt - None
Pants - None (O.o >.>)
Shoes - Sandals - 1 Dodge Chance
Right Hand - None
Left Hand - None
Crossbow - None
Gloves - None
Amulet - None
Ring 1 - None
Ring 2 - None

Having overlooked everything, again, you decide to venture onwards, but remember that you forgot to check your own stats.

Spoiler: Stats (click to show/hide)

Burliness - 8
Sagacity - 9
Nimbleness - 14
Caddishness - 13
Savvy - 14
Stubbornness - 10

Melee Power - 1
Critical Chance - 8
Counter Chance - 8
Magic Power - 5
Haywire Chance - 7
Magic Resistance - 5
Armor Absorption - 0
Block Chance - 2
Dodge Chance - 18
Hit Chance - 4
Sneakiness - 1
Visual Sight Radius - 0
Trap Sight Radius - 2
Trap Affinity - 1

Phew, that's everything. I'll be keeping everything up to date in the 1st post and occasionally post them in the updates I make.

[ottottott]

=/ No one? Was the last post too much? I'll try and sum it up more understandably.
Stats - Don't worry about them. Higher is always better.
Inventory - We don't have that much in here, do we? Everything seems neatly explained to me.
Spells - 1 spell, cmon, bear with me.
Character - You're mostly not even wearing anything. HP and MP shouldn't be a difficult concept.
I can even suggest you pick the stuff in the room up and equip the wooden sword, as you have no weapon at the moment. So, don't let this die before it started. Glory awaits!

[Sirus]

This is totally Dungeons of Dredmor

Don't try to fool me, I have a half-forgotten LP of it (which I really need to get back to one of these days).

[Yoink]

Our name is Cyrus the Bludger.
>Let's grab the sword and ready it to throw at anthing that startles us, and then carry a few lockpicks in our teeth. Since we're, y'know, naked.
Oh, and, >Go East.

[ottottott]

Sirus, shhh! Don't let the others know. I'm taking the trouble of even renaming some stuff to cover it up.

Cyrus, as fine a name as any.
You grab the stuff from the ground and prepare to stuff the lockpicks between your teeth, until you realize you're carrying a backpack, and just throw them there. You hold onto the wooden sword with your right hand. the label on it reads: "Wooden Sword - 2 Dam - Sword". Its undeadliness alarms you slightly and you hope to find a better weapon soon. You proceed to the eastern door and open it. You are greeted by two small bird-like things. They seem to have spotted you and wish your demise. Further along the room you spot one of their eggs, but can't make out much else due to the darkness and the distance. You prepare to throw your sword at those bird-like monsters but reconsider as you remember the label telling you it's a sword. Perhaps one of the throwing weapons in your backpack would be more sufficient. But, honestly, they don't look all that tough.

[Sirus]

I might not have noticed, but "Undead Economics" was a dead giveaway

I don't think it's a problem anyway, lots of forum games are based on existing properties.

[Yoink]

...We have throwing weapons in our backpack? Oh right. I must've missed that spoiler. 

>Apply palm to forhead in exasperation at the audience's stupidity
>Apply sword to bird-thing.

[Bluesproto]

>Apply sword to bird-thing.

And several times.

[ottottott]

You confidently approach the... fine, I'll quit the playing. Those things, they're diggles. No clue what it means, but that's what they are. So, you approach the diggles and proceed to beat one with your sword.
Sadly, you're outnumbered. After three strikes, one seems half-dead, but you only have 7 HP remaining.
This might be a good place to add, that food doesn't heal your HP instantly, but rather 1 per... turn. Yeah, this game has a grid and turns. And everyone can move 1 square per turn.

[lopocozo]

Eat an apple and back off.