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Author Topic: Looks like it's time for a not-so-joke thread  (Read 3545 times)

paraxite

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Looks like it's time for a not-so-joke thread
« on: May 24, 2012, 06:39:59 am »

Since there's been a joke thread, but it really had some good and/or cool suggestions in it (Dragon fueled furnaces? F**king brilliant.), I thought it would be better if I made a thread for those ideas.

So here's my ideas:
-Dragons gain sentience and magic abilities after living enough years.
-When a dragon is butchered by a high skilled butcher, you can get one 'Dragon Heart'. A dragon heart is a very high value rough gem.
-A furniture embedded with the dragon heart will gain magical attributes, and dwarves near that furniture will gain happy thoughts by 'blessed by the heart'.
-Sentient dragons will enslave other sentient beings, and command them like Necromancers do zombies.
-If a fortress is lost to a dragon invasion, the dragon will make the abandoned fortress its lair. The lair will be inhabited by the dragons slaves, and the dragon will be residing in the most valuable room in the fortress.
-The 'Dragon Room' will be filled with high quality and value artifacts.
« Last Edit: May 24, 2012, 06:43:56 am by paraxite »
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Wannazzaki

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Re: Looks like it's time for a not-so-joke thread
« Reply #1 on: May 24, 2012, 06:44:52 am »

Embed stone in sword. Sword possesses dwarf. Dwarfdragon slakes his lust for revenge on the dwarves with a blade of dragonfire and husk levels of murderous unstoppability. Did i mention the sword would breath fire?
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Son of Slaanesh, full of desire, He does cocaine and his head's on fire! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOM Rider! Doom rider! Na na, na na!

King DZA

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Re: Looks like it's time for a not-so-joke thread
« Reply #2 on: May 24, 2012, 06:48:51 am »

Dragons wearing dragonmail mounted on dragons and wielding smaller dragons.

FUCK YEAH dragons!

Wannazzaki

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Re: Looks like it's time for a not-so-joke thread
« Reply #3 on: May 24, 2012, 06:50:26 am »

Dragons wearing dragonmail mounted on dragons and wielding smaller dragons.

FUCK YEAH dragons!

Dragons stack like minecarts now?
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Son of Slaanesh, full of desire, He does cocaine and his head's on fire! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOM Rider! Doom rider! Na na, na na!

paraxite

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Re: Looks like it's time for a not-so-joke thread
« Reply #4 on: May 24, 2012, 07:02:01 am »

-When elves die in the sunlight, their body parts turn into sprouts, which after some time grow into 'Elvbark', a type of tree.
-When an Elvbark is cut down, it covers the woodcutter in a blood like substance, giving him/her bad thoughts.
-If an elf manages to stay underground for a long enough time, it turns into a dark-elf. Dark-elves become sick in the sunlight, have a passive high sneaking stat, and become invisible to the dwarven and human eye.
-Elves can harvest wood from trees like dwarves can harvest sand and clay from sand and clay floor.
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I am Leo

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Re: Looks like it's time for a not-so-joke thread
« Reply #5 on: May 24, 2012, 07:33:56 am »

-Unicorn horn can be ground down at a millstone to produce an aphrodesiac
-New "vampire" types that subsist on sinister things other than blood (skin, pus, ash, eyes etc)
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ZzarkLinux

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Re: Looks like it's time for a not-so-joke thread
« Reply #6 on: May 24, 2012, 07:48:09 am »

I wouldn't mind Dragonborn of some sort, which are basically just animal-men with dragon.
Plus we could get more dragonboobs :)

Maybe even demon-men and angel-men too.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: Looks like it's time for a not-so-joke thread
« Reply #7 on: May 24, 2012, 02:23:46 pm »

- Standard bearers required for combat.
After your population reaches 50+ each squad will only fight if their is a standard bearer. If they die on the field the nearest dwarf will immediately try to pick it up regardless of what killed the previous standard bearer. If the standard is somehow damaged or stolen the entire squad will tantrum.
All of my Dwarves are in 3 man squads, barring the more exotic specialists, so a field of banners would just be DELIGHTFUL!

oven_baked

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Re: Looks like it's time for a not-so-joke thread
« Reply #8 on: May 24, 2012, 02:44:21 pm »

-Dwarfs can be racist/ have preference for certain features or for what Civ they are from.
-hammer dwarfs being stricter on some than others, Mayors choosing who gets the jail sentence for missed dead-lines, "Accidental" injuries in sparing...
-Mandates banning certain dwarfs from certain jobs or forcing them to be haulers.
-Moods dependent of prejudice: "Urist Mc_racist enjoyed beating up a brown-beard" "Urist Mc_racist is unhappy as he saw a Brown-beard"
-the Justice system doesn't care about crimes against minorities even with plenty of witnesses.
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We just need to get Toady to embed a Lisp interpreter into DF.  Learning lambda calculus in order to play the game wouldn't make DF's learning curve much steeper.

Callista

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Re: Looks like it's time for a not-so-joke thread
« Reply #9 on: May 24, 2012, 02:53:09 pm »

Grenades. Like molotov cocktails, made out of booze; or greek fire, or just blobs of burning tar. Can set enemies on fire, and start fires wherever they burst when they're thrown. Would give access to fire without having to pump magma.

Burning the forest (I guess could be quantified as >20 trees burned down in one season) automatically triggers sieges from nearby elf nations. Yes, even if the fire started thanks to some random dragon trying to roast your dorfs.

There's a random chance that careless human sieges will set dry grass on fire with their campfires.

And have big forest fires be historical events so your engravers can carve them into the walls.

...uhm. I like fire. :P
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Babylon

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Re: Looks like it's time for a not-so-joke thread
« Reply #10 on: May 25, 2012, 01:32:21 pm »

Elves can harvest wood from trees like dwarves can harvest sand and clay from sand and clay floor.

This is a really good idea and would explain how they get all their wood.
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Murgy

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Re: Looks like it's time for a not-so-joke thread
« Reply #11 on: May 25, 2012, 02:15:30 pm »

-Dwarfs can be racist/ have preference for certain features or for what Civ they are from.
-hammer dwarfs being stricter on some than others, Mayors choosing who gets the jail sentence for missed dead-lines, "Accidental" injuries in sparing...
-Mandates banning certain dwarfs from certain jobs or forcing them to be haulers.
-Moods dependent of prejudice: "Urist Mc_racist enjoyed beating up a brown-beard" "Urist Mc_racist is unhappy as he saw a Brown-beard"
-the Justice system doesn't care about crimes against minorities even with plenty of witnesses.

"This Dwarf Fortress business is great fun, mates. But ya'know what this game needs more of? Racism"
 ???
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Quote from: Cruxador
Quote from: NW_Kohaku
I made a mod where giant spiders, snake-people, minotaurs, dwarves, and a gnome-like creature were all the same species.  In spite of being radically different sizes, a snake-person and a spider could get married and have a minotaur as a child.
A wonderful love story of a family that is truly without prejudice.

Ross Vernal

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Re: Looks like it's time for a not-so-joke thread
« Reply #12 on: May 25, 2012, 02:26:31 pm »

The ability to talk to and negotiate with intelligent invaders. Like dragons or some FB's.

Torture. For all we do, there is not enough of it. There is no way to safely put out the eyes of elf traders who come to your fort without modding the raws.
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Bordellimies

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Re: Looks like it's time for a not-so-joke thread
« Reply #13 on: May 25, 2012, 02:27:59 pm »

-Dwarfs can be racist/ have preference for certain features or for what Civ they are from.
-hammer dwarfs being stricter on some than others, Mayors choosing who gets the jail sentence for missed dead-lines, "Accidental" injuries in sparing...
-Mandates banning certain dwarfs from certain jobs or forcing them to be haulers.
-Moods dependent of prejudice: "Urist Mc_racist enjoyed beating up a brown-beard" "Urist Mc_racist is unhappy as he saw a Brown-beard"
-the Justice system doesn't care about crimes against minorities even with plenty of witnesses.

"This Dwarf Fortress business is great fun, mates. But ya'know what this game needs more of? Racism"
 ???
But the Dwarves already do hate elves. If racism inside dwarven society would be implemented, maybe the ones being hated on could be like "I think that the elves are pretty cool actually."
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Loud Whispers

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Re: Looks like it's time for a not-so-joke thread
« Reply #14 on: May 26, 2012, 10:06:02 am »

But the Dwarves already do hate elves. If racism inside dwarven society would be implemented, maybe the ones being hated on could be like "I think that the elves are pretty cool actually."
The Dwarves don't actively hate the Elves, and it's not definite hate. For the most part, they're tolerated until some mayor walks over to Elfy land and discovers a buffet of sentients. Then war happens.