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[Sus]

- dwarves (male and female) have not only beards and moustaches, but also a thick fur that can be shorn like trolls', to create dwarf hair clothing
- reports section also includes graphic descriptions of dwarven sex life
- new types of bee-like vermin with deadly venom ("Urist McHerbalist has been stung by a paralysis tick!")
- dwarves feel an irresistable urge to "bathe" in any water 4/7 or less deep (factor in waterfalls if you don't understand why this is a terrible idea)

[Iceflame]

- an armor made of old Nokia phones. Simply indestructible.

[Sus]

- Tools required for every single labor. Because the micromanagement of fucking fishing poles was the best part of The Settlers. Oh, and did I mention carrying one type of tool precludes ever using another tool or a weapon of any kind because of hidden "uniforms"?

[Blizzlord]

-Give goblin snatchers the sons and daughters of great engineers.

[snoopychicken]

- Standard bearers required for combat.
After your population reaches 50+ each squad will only fight if their is a standard bearer. If they die on the field the nearest dwarf will immediately try to pick it up regardless of what killed the previous standard bearer. If the standard is somehow damaged or stolen the entire squad will tantrum.

[Loud Whispers]

Don't tell Loud Whispers, he will have a field day with that many ravens.

RUN FOR THE HILLS JOHN LEE, AND NEVER LOOK BACK!!

Ah nope, the mist took him. Shame.

[oven_baked]

-Dwarfs form political parties that the populous must vote in, the wining party's leader is then the mayor. All members of the winning party will do no labors and instead do "politics" and attend "parliament", dwarf parliament of course not dissimilar to sparing. They will also not participate the the economy and instead pay for everything using "expenses".

-Dwarfs eat, drink, work and sleep on a daily cycle, if their bed, booze and work are not close enough together they will starve in transit.

-Dwarfs can have the "pyromaniac" trait, they are only happy if they have recently set something on fire. They enjoy burning barrels the most; mainly those filled with booze, and especially when they are in a stock pile.

-Minecarts can gain sentience and rebel against their bearded and squishy overloads.

[misko27]

How is regular parliment not dissimilar to sparring?
And, I must add,

being idle and staying in one spot for too long is a crime, "loitering"

This is already a crime in my fortress, punishable by enlistment
 EDIT: I got it! make giant sponges amphibious! With wings! And let the goblins ride then into battle.

[Dorfimedes]

Every year in an evil biome there's a 1/8 chance that all bodies of water in the region will become corrupt for the rest of the year. Dehydrated dwarves that drink from it in desperation will become husks. Any and all mist generators will emit evil clouds instead of mist.

[The Bard]

- Dwarves now have the [Grazer] tag.

- Goblins now siege by constructing a tower on your embark, diverting your water sources and raiding your food and booze. They don't attack, they're just awful neighbors.

[Putnam]

How is regular parliment not dissimilar to sparring?
And, I must add,

being idle and staying in one spot for too long is a crime, "loitering"

This is already a crime in my fortress, punishable by enlistment
 EDIT: I got it! make giant sponges amphibious! With wings! And let the goblins ride then into battle.

Technically, they already can ride sponges. [MOUNT_EXOTIC]

[kingubu]

- Dwarves now have the [Grazer] tag.

Yes!

[chevil]

- an armor made of old Nokia phones. Simply indestructible.

heh we used to play soccer with a nokia 3310 during breaks at school. they dont make phones like that anymore.

[nopil3os]

- Goblins now siege by constructing a tower on your embark, diverting your water sources and raiding your food and booze. They don't attack, they're just awful neighbors.

ha. my very first fort that survived the first year was one with only a handfull of lakes that froze in winter. one of the first things i learned in df was conserving water.

[Hanslanda]

Don't tell Loud Whispers, he will have a field day with that many ravens.

RUN FOR THE HILLS JOHN LEE, AND NEVER LOOK BACK!!

Ah nope, the mist took him. Shame.

Imagine your raven stockpile then.  It could defeat HFS by itself with a single necro.