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Voting closed: April 07, 2013, 10:34:35 am


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Author Topic: Einsteinian Roulette On ship Thread: Maurice's One Night Stand  (Read 6006159 times)

kisame12794

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: Kinder Surpise of Death
« Reply #5805 on: August 26, 2012, 12:28:03 pm »

(So my recovery time is dependent on how much or how little a bunch of bungling idiots in another dimension screw up?  Good to know.)

((Oh shush. At least you can move.))
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The non-assholes vastly outnumber the assholes but the assholes can fart with greater volume.
((You're an arm and a torso in low orbit. This was the best possible resolution of things.))

SeriousConcentrate

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: Kinder Surpise of Death
« Reply #5806 on: August 26, 2012, 12:51:50 pm »

(Sorry, Tavik. I was busy all yesterday. ^^^; Did you need something from Jim?)
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SerCon Shorts: This Is How You Do It - Twenty-three one minute or less videos of random stupidity in AC:U, Bloodborne, DS2:SotFS, Salt & Sanctuary, and The Witcher 3.

Toaster

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: Kinder Surpise of Death
« Reply #5807 on: August 26, 2012, 12:56:21 pm »

Close to a good distance before firing.  If he acts like he's going to surrender, kneecap him.
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

Tavik Toth

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: Kinder Surpise of Death
« Reply #5808 on: August 26, 2012, 01:03:40 pm »

((General Charecter interaction.))
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SeriousConcentrate

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: Kinder Surpise of Death
« Reply #5809 on: August 26, 2012, 01:14:52 pm »

(Ah, OK. Looks like you've already moved on, though. I'm going to be busy for probably the rest of today, too, so I guess it's for the best. >.<)
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SerCon Shorts: This Is How You Do It - Twenty-three one minute or less videos of random stupidity in AC:U, Bloodborne, DS2:SotFS, Salt & Sanctuary, and The Witcher 3.

PyroDesu

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: Kinder Surpise of Death
« Reply #5810 on: August 26, 2012, 01:16:09 pm »

If he acts like he's going to surrender, kneecap him.

((
Quote from: Terminator 2: Judgement Day
The T-800, after John tells him he can't kill anyone:
John: (after the T-800 kneecaps a guard) Hey, you promised!
T-800: (examines the guard, who is still yelling in agony) He'll live.
))
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Quote from: syvarris
Pyro is probably some experimental government R&D AI.

Zako

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: Kinder Surpise of Death
« Reply #5811 on: August 26, 2012, 01:33:07 pm »

(So my recovery time is dependent on how much or how little a bunch of bungling idiots in another dimension screw up?  Good to know.)
((This is why having my brand new healing speed is so good. I don't have downtime like you anymore, nor do I loose attributes from recovery. It's GOOD and I highly recommend getting it.))
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kisame12794

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: Kinder Surpise of Death
« Reply #5812 on: August 26, 2012, 01:39:50 pm »

((Yeah but in order to heal yourself your body consumes itself. It will start with the fat, then muscle (-1 to STR and DEX?), then organs. If I was you, I'd look into some way of storing food so you can eat it in your suit.))
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The non-assholes vastly outnumber the assholes but the assholes can fart with greater volume.
((You're an arm and a torso in low orbit. This was the best possible resolution of things.))

Zako

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: Kinder Surpise of Death
« Reply #5813 on: August 26, 2012, 02:09:49 pm »

((Dude, that's what all our bodies do naturally. Bishop's just does it faster and better. At any rate, I won't let it get so bad that my body will eat it's own muscles. If that is happening, then it means that I died and got brought back on the ship and have woken up from a REALLY bad injury after a decent amount of time, which means I can eat food safely.))
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piecewise

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: Kinder Surpise of Death
« Reply #5814 on: August 26, 2012, 02:34:01 pm »

These are some good painkillers. Best to just bask in the chemical joy, I always say.
Enter a state of great calm. Relax completely on the couch.
You ride the pain killers, drifting in and out of consciousness and hazy darkness.

(So my recovery time is dependent on how much or how little a bunch of bungling idiots in another dimension screw up?  Good to know.)
Make sure I'm in the hospital wing before applying the medical thingy I don't remember the name of to myself.

Look at it this way: if they screw up really bad, you heal really fast.

You roll yourself into the infirmary and park your bed before picking your artifact back up and looking at it.

"Buttons in order." You mumble to yourself. "Just have to do the buttons in order and not stop."

You hesitate above the first button.

(This whole process is just gonna go in one post unless you specify something different. That ok?)

Get back up then get a book on laser rifles if avalable.
You roll out of bed and head back to the Armory.

"You got anything on laser rifles?"

"Got the standard army manual, that good?"


Bishop sighed sadly.

"Yeah, you're right about that one... Anything else of note? Give me stuff like how tough it is, how much temperature it can handle, how it works basically. Has anyone else in the past worked on this thing?"

>No.

Roger fires at a leg of the large Altered, then ducks back down.
[con:3-1]
You close one eye and aim as best you can at one of the beast's legs. You squeeze the trigger and then immediately duck back into the trench, unsure of if you hit anything.

Close to a good distance before firing.  If he acts like he's going to surrender, kneecap him.
[dex:6]
[man dex:5]
You keep after him but can't seem to gain any ground and you're starting to tire.

Harry Baldman

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: Kinder Surpise of Death
« Reply #5815 on: August 26, 2012, 02:41:55 pm »

Check if I still have the remote on me. If so, turn on the TV and watch competitive knife catching, amateur edition. If not, imagine I am watching competitive knife catching, amateur edition. If imagination fails me, have a nice nap instead.
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Tavik Toth

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: Kinder Surpise of Death
« Reply #5816 on: August 26, 2012, 02:54:28 pm »

"Ya."
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Toaster

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: Kinder Surpise of Death
« Reply #5817 on: August 26, 2012, 02:55:27 pm »

If he acts like he's going to surrender, kneecap him.

((
Quote from: Terminator 2: Judgement Day
The T-800, after John tells him he can't kill anyone:
John: (after the T-800 kneecaps a guard) Hey, you promised!
T-800: (examines the guard, who is still yelling in agony) He'll live.
))

((Good thinking!))

Maybe a warning shot will work.  Maybe it'll even hit him.

Fire a single shot at him without slowing.  Keep up the pursuit.
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

Remalle

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: Kinder Surpise of Death
« Reply #5818 on: August 26, 2012, 03:20:24 pm »

Pull Press the button!
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piecewise

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: On ship thread: Kinder Surpise of Death
« Reply #5819 on: August 26, 2012, 06:40:51 pm »

Check if I still have the remote on me. If so, turn on the TV and watch competitive knife catching, amateur edition. If not, imagine I am watching competitive knife catching, amateur edition. If imagination fails me, have a nice nap instead.
You flail your arm around weakly and find the remote wedged into the couch cushions. You can't summon the strength to pull it out, but you can hit some of the buttons. You turn the Tv on and press through the channels till you lose all feeling in your arm. You're not sure what's on the channel you stopped, but you're pretty sure you saw breasts and gore within 3 seconds of eachother, so it's probably pretty good.

"Ya."
She hands you a very childish looking pamphlet with "MR.LASER RIFLE" written on top above a cartoon image of a smiling laser rifle. Oh dear.

If he acts like he's going to surrender, kneecap him.

((
Quote from: Terminator 2: Judgement Day
The T-800, after John tells him he can't kill anyone:
John: (after the T-800 kneecaps a guard) Hey, you promised!
T-800: (examines the guard, who is still yelling in agony) He'll live.
))

((Good thinking!))

Maybe a warning shot will work.  Maybe it'll even hit him.

Fire a single shot at him without slowing.  Keep up the pursuit.
[con:6-1]
You bring up your rifle and take aim, trying to bring the man down with a non-lethal shot. You breathe out and wait, concentrating, waiting for his leg to line up with your shot. You squeeze the trigger at just the right instant and the man falls, splashing into the mud with a startled grunt.


Pull Press the button!
You press the first button marked "Prime" and the little machine beeps out a cheery chime and buzzes as some ancient battery within awakens for the first time in countless years. The top of the machine slides open and a metal cuff unfurls and folds out.

"PLACE ARM IN CUFF"

The machine demands in a tinny voice.

You slip your arm into the cuff and the machine tightens down automatically.

"BEGIN STEP TWO"

"Can't really do much else unless I want to wear this as jewelry for the rest of my life." You mutter, pressing the "SAMPLE" button.

You feel something jab into your wrist and stay there for several seconds before retracting.

"SAMPLE COMPLETE. BEGIN STEP 3."

You press the "PROCESS" button.

"PROCESSING."

For several seconds the machine does nothing but hum and whir before beeping again and releasing your arm.

"SAMPLE PROCESSED. PRODUCT GENELOCKED. Genelock is a trademark of Beat-all corp. "

The top of the machine opens again, unfurling a long metal belt and a clasp.

"PLEASE SECURE DEVICE TO CHEST, ALIGNING ARROWS TO EITHER SIDE OF THE STERNUM."

You shrug and do as the machine asks, strapping the belt around your chest and tightening it in place after making sure it's correctly aligned. The machine autotightens it a bit more and then beeps.

"BEGIN STEP 4"

You press the button marked inject. The machine beeps again and you feel another needle prick on your chest.

"Oh, thats not so ba-"

And then a hollow 4 inch wide drill bit extends from inside the machine's casing and begins drilling straight through your chest. You don't feel it, but the sound bone and meat shredding and the copious amounts of blood oozing down from under the machine and out across your legs and bedspread is enough to make you feel very ill. You can vaguely feel the drill penetrate your chest chavity with a dull clunk and suddenly you can't breathe and nothing but a taste of metal and blood is coming up.

"INJECTING"

And then you don't even notice the fact that you're suffocating over the 5 pounds of razorblades that the machine begins pumping straight through the fresh hole in your chest. You gurgle and sputter, your body shivering and spasming involuntarily.

"COMPLETE. BEGIN STEP 5."

You paw weakly at the machine with blood slick fingers and dying vision until you find the "ACTIVATE" button and press it. You pass out even as the cheery chime plays again and that damn tinny voice announces: "THANK YOU FOR YOUR PURCHASE"



You wake up some time later and immediately look down at yourself. You're still covered in blood and the machine is laying off to the side, it's strap loose around you, but you feel no pain and you don't look injured. You touch your chest and your bones are all back. You sit up to get a better look and suddenly realize you can feel your legs again and that your spine is no longer flayed out of your back. You pat yourself all over, trying to find something that doesn't feel fine and you can't find anything. Well, besides your stomach, you're goddamn starving. You put your hand on your belly and immediately pull it back when you feel something moving inside.

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