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[Loud Whispers]

Something's always buggered me...

Why do bookkeepers always drag a barrel full of alcohol to their little studies to update the stockpile?

Do they drink on the job, to gain an omniscient level of quasi-meditative/half dead state that allows them to see every single tooth that falls in your fort?

Do they record the stockpile records on the booze, for all to see?

Dwarves, you confuse me.

[Blizzlord]

The alcohol strengthens the link to the hive mind. They see what everyone has seen, counts it and writes it down on the stocks screen directly. Because the stocks screen lies on his desk.

[SRD]

...Well if you were going to count every fucken thing in your town you'd get thirsty too!

[Loud Whispers]

But they don't even drink from it. They just haul it to their table, and begin 'updating stockpile records.'

When they're done, they put the booze back in the stockpile.

Just staring at the booze... Staring... At the booze...

[King DZA]

Could be motivation.

"Just gotta get this shit to High Precision level, and I can finally have a drink..."

[Blizzlord]

But they don't even drink from it. They just haul it to their table, and begin 'updating stockpile records.'

When they're done, they put the booze back in the stockpile.

Just staring at the booze... Staring... At the booze...

I didn't say they drank the booze.

[BigFatStupidHead]

It was originally intended that the book-keeper would take each and every item into his office for tabulation one at a time; the current booze barrel is just a placeholder. Toady will eventually get around to fixing it.

[Blizzlord]

It was originally intended that the book-keeper would take each and every item into his office for tabulation one at a time; the current booze barrel is just a placeholder. Toady will eventually get around to fixing it.

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Blizzstarlord has been struck down.

[Sus]

They use the booze as a viewing pool to work their Dwarven Omniscience.

The alcohol strengthens the link to the hive mind. They see what everyone has seen, counts it and writes it down on the stocks screen directly. Because the stocks screen lies on his desk.

This would also explain why sober dwarves barely work at all... Without alcohol to power their cortical nodes, they can no longer fuction as a part of the Dwarf collective.

Urist McHu, Dorf drone cancels Clean: attained individuality.
Urist McHu, Dorf drone has gone stark raving mad!

[Lordraymond]

I still don't understand why my military haul empty barrels out to combat then drop them as soon as they see an enemy. I can only imagine what goes through their beards minds same difference:

"Oh, man I'm going to fill this barrel with the blood of my enemies! It's gonna be so awesome! Let's go guys!

*Charges towards combat*

Damn, this barrel is heavy! Maybe if I throw it... TAKE THAT!

*Throws barrel. It plunks down only a few feet in front of the dwarf.*

I really need to do some strength training when I get back to the barracks..."

[wierd]

Ok, apparently none of you know the finer parts of dark age divination technique.

In addition to gutting animals for visceromancy, casting bones/runes, and the ubiquitous tarot, there is also the "glass bowl of water" technique.

This is the technique reportedly used by the notorious nostradamus.

warning, newage wiccan hocus pocus

(Since all forms of divination are hocus pocus, it seemed acceptable to link to.)

*made a very intensive independent study of magic and magical beliefs as part of a historical/anthropological/psychological curiosity. Knows all kinds of obscure things now.*

So, now so properly armed:

It is abundantly clear that the dwarf takes the booze barrel, because dwarves don't use water ofr anything but taking a bath if they can avoid it.

He takes it to his scrying meditation room, pops the top off, sits at his desk and peers into the top for several hours as the hypnogogic effects induce a hallucenatory hyptonic trance, in which he can then scry all the goodies in the fortress and write it all down before he forgets it all.

Then he puts the lid back on, and returns it to the stockpile.

[Alidus]

It was originally intended that the book-keeper would take each and every item into his office for tabulation one at a time; the current booze barrel is just a placeholder. Toady will eventually get around to fixing it.

I hope that's a joke of some kind. 

There's no way I'm allowing my broker to carry potentially thousands of items around one at a time.

Edit: I mean bookkeeper. 

[wierd]

Damnit!  Why does neo have to fly over MY town!?

(Fixing the deja-vu double post)

[Loud Whispers]

That's so eerie... It's like the two posts are exactly the same...



New age scrying wine

[wierd]

Its probably the cell company suffering technical difficulty and duplicating packets or something. We did just have a tornado.

Either that or the machines are trying to fix the matrix after neo flew over.

I will amend one od the duplicates.