(XD)
Jim decides now is a good time to take a break. Relax a bit.
"Hulkamania's running mild." you say before turning on some smooth jazz and relaxing. On your back. In the middle of a warzone.
"Oh damnit Jim, was that really neccesary? I mean, I'm sure I could've... Nevermind."
Look around, asses the damage. If anyone is still alive, take their weapons away (stuff them in my backpack) and say following:
"And this is what you get when you anger the psychic robots people. You guys ready to surrender yet?"
You drag your self into the room, wandering blindly through the dust until you start finding bodies. After a few dead ones with executive toys and office supplies lodged in their important bits you manage to find one who only has the leg of a desk chair through his gut. You crawl towards him and try to take his weapon, but raises a clenched fist at you, holding what looks like a pen in it.
"Stay back!" He shouts, trying to crawl away, "Or I'll make sure we both die here!"
Team D - Lukas
Keep laser drones ready and explore the space where the enemies were supposed to stand a few seconds ago. If Lukas sees enemy movement, he fires his gauss cannon.
Well, you see that guy that Miyamoto sees. And like miyamoto, you decide that, rather then just charge and attempt to murder the bastard threatening you with an unknown weapon, you should maybe think about this for a second.
"Sorry. I felt it best to limit casualties on our side," Jim said, making no effort to move. "Which I certainly did. Perhaps a bit too zealously. Ah, well. At least we're all still alive and well. Most of us. I thought I saw someone crawl away with half a leg. Maybe someone should go find him and take care of him," he said, unaware that Mesk was already on it.
(PW, I have to ask. Not counting Pyro's first character since he's dead, do I have the largest kill count in the current HMRC roster? Because I seem to habitually slaughter large groups of people purely on accident. XD)
You do have a pretty big murder boner there Jim. I dunno, I don't keep track of each throbbing inch of homicide phallus, but I would guess you have the most biggest.
Throbbing Homicide Phallus.
"Oh great. Fucking great." said Flint after seeing the destruction "I keep asking myself why they didn't just nuke the place from orbit. I'm going to go away now because you might decide to set the room on fire or something." And with that he started moving towards the morgue. At least Jim probably wouldn't attack corpses and cut them to pieces with a meat cleaver or something. Would he? "*grumble* Stupid Jim exploding rooms of the hospital, acting like he's invincible, not letting us do our job *grumble*"
Go to administration. What's it look like? Any incriminating files, important people, walls with gibberish scribbled on them, videos of alien vivisections? Oh and be on the lookout for traps.
You cut through physical therapy to get to administration. It's almost exactly what you would expect from such a room: Computers, desks, little data storage blocks near all the desks and computers. And of course tacky paint. I mean jesus, who paints a goddam racing stripe on a goddamn administration room? Why not just paint flames and a naked lady straddling an atomic bomb?
More on subject, you don't see anything just kind of sitting around but there might be something on one of the computers. Unfortunately those are password locked. And not with "Password" and there's no password under the desk or in a convenient journal entry near by.
((I LIVE! for now...))
"holy shit I'm alive!" "Barely" "shut it, grumpy" "I'm just saying, you've got a leg and half, there's this scary dude who's gonna "practice medicine" and the elevator up is broken. I think you're pretty screwed" "you mean 'we', right?" "nah, I'm just a figment of your broken mind, I'll be fine"
"I call dibs on one of their weapons, preferably the one that shot me"
Pancaek looks to Mesk and whimpers slightly. "So how's your track record with first aid? are you even qualified? please be gentle..."
Let mesk do his thing, then look for something to use as a crutch
Possible Crutches include:
1. A bit of rubble.
b. A teammate
3. A Female teammate so that you can cop the occasional feel. HEY! Don't judge, you just had your freaking leg blown off. If that doesn't entitle you to some innocent second base action, then what the hell does?
Stacy, Team C DJ, Not Participating In This Shootout, Hoping For Lack Of Asses.
"Okay, please be something more useful than a bunch of ass-scans. Please."
Look at what is in all probability a bunch of ass-scans. Obtain flavorful information regardless of contents.
"Then again, a bunch of ass-scans may come in handy. I will need a projector, however."
Hmm well lets start by putting these into a few piles.
We got the "What the fuck is this even a picture of?" pile. We got the "Useless" pile. We got the "Show this to someone who actually knows how to medicine" pile and we got the "Interesting" pile.
Most of the pictures fall into the former piles rather then the last. You do however get pictures that you think show scans of the deterioration of tissues in Red cough afflicted subjects. You say that because the damage has a goddamn geometric pattern to it, which is certainly different from anything you've ever heard of.
[Team A Medic - Mesk]
"Ehehehehe..."
Practice medicine on him. Gentleness optional.
(By practice medicine I mean practice medicine, not "practice medicine".)
BUT HE DOESN'T NEED MEDICINE, MEDICINE MAN! THE MK II HAS MADE YOU OBSOLETE! WELL, EXCEPT IN THE FIELD OF KICKING PEOPLE'S PARENTS TO DEATH-OLOGY. YOU'RE STILL THE EXPERT THERE.
WHY WAS THIS IN ALL CAPS? I'M NOT EVEN YELLING.
((Won't be able to post for a few days, SC has control.))
Well, that was effective, Jim.
Go in and see if any still live, and take what I can from those who do not.
You hold off on looting the dead because of the whole "Guy threatening to kill everyone thing."
Try to use magical feely powers to evaluate lungs. See if I can diagnose anything else about myself while I'm at it.
You can feel that there is tissue damage spreading from your lungs outward in a distressingly artificial, geometric pattern. Diagnosis: Oh Shit Son.
Cover those who advance
You point your laserbeam stick at the badman and make aggressive hooting noises.
Cover those who advance
Hold Thomas's hand and threaten any fishy looking people.
((I think I should get May a regular lead-firing old Pistol from the Armory, just so she can wave it around and threaten people with outdated gangsterisms.))
You point Thomas's stick at the badman and make suggestive hooting noises.
Pull out pistol in readiness, reload, but don't shoot anyone. Yet. Get ready to shoot people though.
"Faith? Are you alright? I kind of got distracted while Lucas was making sure my working arm still worked. It did. It was fucking awesome."
((I'm back. And not dead yet. Well done.))
YOU'RE ALWAYS READY TO SHOOT PEOPLE! YOU'RE KING BULLET! YOU'RE THE SHOOTIE...wait why is everything in caps again?
((Good to see you won't pass up a chance to have one of us make an ass out of ourselves.))
Team B: Lars, Chaplain
"Amen. Praise be."
If the way is clear, loot a real rifle. If even a little questionable, hold back.
Lars turns to address Saint Milno. "No, your holiness, I just find it best to allow the full religious fervor to fill me with a tremendous spiritual presence whenever I can."
Yeah, guys threatening to kill everyone is a little questionable.
Tossing aside the bit of drywall he was holding, Bishop yells out to the big-ass suit of armor blocking the way forward.
"HOI! Move your metal ass out of the way so we can get going! We don't have all day you know!"
Cover the advance!
You join Thomas in pointing your stick at the badman. You also point your gun at them.
Author
Topic: Einsteinian Roulette (Original Thread: Rules, Armory, Misson archive 1-11) (Read 3937567 times)