Now, onwards to the actual turn.
Turn 34: Yo dawg, so I heard you like stat checks, so I put stat checks after stat checks so you can check your stats while you get your stats checkedMaka
(3 - Slight Success) The jelly isn't fashionable. It periodically emits low voltage currents, making Maka's hair even more messed up. (No, Maka, static electricity in your hair is not fashionable, either.) It wibbles and wobbles and is really quite wet.
One could say, in the fashion of belt-wielding fathers everywhere on this world, that this hurts Maka more than it hurts the jelly.
Elenor
Elenor waits for the rest of the team.
(Gain 3 XP in Investigation from last turn. Investigation skill level up! Is now Novice Investigator.)
(2 - Failure) It's really boring down here.
Remy
Gather my equipment and join Elenor.
(6 - Overshot) Roger, then. Gather your, wink wink nudge nudge,
equipment. And then help Apollo with gathering his
...crap. His equipment is longer than yours. W-well, it's about how you can use it, not the size of it, right? And also his was definitely super much cooler.
Apollo
Pick up rifle, join the others.
Think. Do we know anything we could brew to make the water easier to go through? If so, keep that in mind for future reference. Also, gather some of that guano. For scientific purposes, of course.
(6 - Overshot) Apollo looks at the guano. He looks back at his rifle. Then back at the guano.
Gunpowder. We have a water problem. GUNPOWDER.
Well, of course one could use
dynamite to get rid of these problems. Or, really, some sort of powder bomb. Recipe's easy. Charcoal, saltpeter, sulfur and explodium, right? Every Alchemist worth his salt had some sulphur in one of his pockets, using it as perfume or method of identification. And saltpeter... well, he had fossilized bird crap. Finally, charcoal should be doable with some driftwood and a fire source.
Fire source.
Apollo peers over to Remy creepily.
It was time to do !!SCIENCE!!.
(Remy SCIENCE Roll: 5: Aww.)
(Apollo Invention Roll: 3: Nothing.)
A few precious minutes later, Apollo has one less set of eyebrows and one more stash of firebombs.
(3 XP gained in Alchemy.)
Obtained: Firebomb x4!Taren
Carry Komas and bring him along.
Let's go. Elenor leads, obviously. Carry Komas and bring him along.
Request Helskaya!
(4 - Partial Success) The ferryman not having gotten up yet worries Taren. Time to hoist him and pick him up... (LV.8 STR check! 4+2-8 = -2) Whew, he could try to lose some weight. Should be okay, though, as long as he doesn't have to carry him for too long. Oof. To the stairs. Aaand... oh, wait, Hel is approaching with the ass and, whoa, hey! Whatcha doing?!
Komas
>Examine surroundings
>Demand explanation from companions
>Should no explanation be forthcoming in a satisfactory timeframe (i.e RIGHT BLOODY NOW), dole out a few whacks with Heinkel to cheer myself up obtain information.
(2 - Failure) Komas is as irate as a man slung over the shoulder of another and with a bear ass in his face can be. He, however, is also as confused as a man slung over the shoulder of another and with a bear ass in his face can be. As such, the irate tirade his brain tells his mouth to launch is interpreted by the mouth as an order to politely request getting put down. Taren, who is basically just relieved, obliges, only to see Helskaya advance, finger drawn.
Helskaya
Take the bear ass and wave it under Komas' nose in the manner of smelling salts. See if it revives him.
Helskaya accepts the bear ass transfer and stows it in his inventory.
See if Taren will sniff the bear ass, and if so analyse the results using my considerable shamanic knowledge. If that fails to give a clear diagnosis, then focus all of my anxiety regarding the limited quantity of spirit-journey enabling materials I have into my magical shamanic finger and poke him firmly in the chest until he feels better.
(6 - Overshot)
Operation Bear Ass was a success. Komas did wake up pretty quickly. After smelling it yourself - just to test - Hel can certainly certify it is an effective method of waking someone up. The stench is spectacular, and not only because it had already aged some. It was stuffed, like a particularily weird hunting trophy, but whoever stuffed it didn't do a good job. No living bear had this succulent an...
Ahem. Kind of a shame to have lost this exemplar. Hel would have liked to ask the owner of this posterior out, to a romantic burning beehive dinner. But alas.
It was time to practice medicine. He snapped a stray gut over his operation hand.
"Tell me where it hurts."Taren seems quite unwilling to tell him where it hurts.
"Please. This is for your own good."Taren's eyes indicate that he cannot possibly see how this could be for his own good.
"Are you possessed by a foul spirit, perhaps?"Taren's sigh tries to quietly hint that the only foul spirit possessing him goes by the name of common sense.
"--Then there is but one way."Taren seems resigned to the fact that this one way is not just leaving the situation be, which suddenly seems like a rather attractive option.
"EN GARDE! I'LL GET THIS OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM, FRIEND!"With one terribly long leap, Helskaya Arkut lunges at his unwilling patient, his finger burning with withdrawal symptoms. His other hand is at Taren's throat, then his jaw, wrenching open a mouth clamped tightly shut, to jam the shining shamanic-- Oh god.
(LV.8 TGH Check, Taren: 3+1+(2)-8 = -2 Minor Failure) HUARGLBLARGHBLUEEEEEERGHKOFFKOFFGRUAAAHRGgllbrlllgrHUARGHARFARG
"There! 'tis the spirit of foulness, now gone from your body."And, after wiping the remainder of this 'spirit' from his mouth, Taren does feel somewhat better. And weakened. And hungry.
(2 XP gained in Herbal Medicine.)
--
Now then, did I mention that the stairs were slippery? They did not lose much of that property. Party-wide LV.7 SWF check to not slip.
Maka 4+(2)-7 = -1: Minor Failure
Hel 3+(1)-7 = -3: Major Failure
Taren 3+(6)-7 = 2: Flawless Success
Remy 5+(4)-7 = 2: Flawless Success
Apollo 3+(1)-7 = -3: Major Failure
Komas 2+(5)-7 = 0: Flawed Success
Maka is the first to skip down the stairs. About halfway down, she slips, sliding down the rest on her rear end. (LV.5 TGH check: 2+(6)-5=3 Flawless Success) While she technically got a sore arse from that, she doesn't mind at all, since she had far too much fun. She lands next to Elenor with a big, silly smile.
Right after her, the tangle of a scared Helskayabear and an even more scared Apollo hugging the bear tightly comes crashing down. (LV.8 TGH checks: 5+2-8=-1, 3+2-8=-3: +1 Pain, +2 Pain) Because Hel was a bear, he got through without too much trouble, and managed to stop before sliding down. Apollo had a bit of a harder time, since he was only a squishy human, but he is fine enough as well.
After them, Taren, Remy and Komas, approaching the stairs with more respect, manage to descend on their legs. And Helskaya managed to transform back after wrenching away Apollo still bearhugging him.
All that remains is one closed door. Elenor opens it.
((The numbers seem to work out pretty well. Get used to seeing a lot of LV.7 checks as a task of moderate difficulty, and anything above being serious problems.))
---
The room that, after an awkwardly long period of Elenor fiddling with the lock, opened up to the adventurers, revealing a grand room, as wide as the entire tower and so high that the adventurer's entrance door is a good deal above the ground, connected by one more set of stairs. The ground is littered with mountains of untold riches, with gold, gems and many other marvels, stacked so abundantly that they form a miniature hill landscape, inviting the intrepid adventurer to bathe in them. Several stained glass windows, some broken, some still intact and all as tall as the wall, let in the day's light, colored by the glass.
Oh, and there's a gigantic dragon with blue scales sleeping peacefully on the loot, taking up at a bit less than half of the room. A humanoid figure clad in a blue garment that looks suspiciously like a bathrobe lies snuggled next to him.
The group's entrance is located to the west of the room. There's a grand, closed portal on the other side of the room, and a huge gaping hole in the south side of the wall.
---
Character Sheets
Helskaya Arkut (lawastooshort)
Status: Some Pain.
Injuries: Scar on left leg. Slight indigestion.
Equipment: Northern white bear skin, weaponized magic bong,
Northern white bear jawbone on necklace.
Inventory: Lesser healing potion x1, slice of magic x4, pestle and mortar, One Bear Ass
Attributes: 2 STR/3 TGH/4 DEX/3 SWF/4 INT/4 MND
Perks:
Wild HippieSkills: Skilled Herbal Medicine [2/15], Skilled Shamanic Magic, Skilled Northern Loremaster, Competent Wilderness Survival
Spells:
Shining Shamanic Healing Finger!, Transform: Raging North Bear, Summon Water Elemental
Elenor Warsen (Caellath)
Status: Some Pain.
Injuries: Several scarred cuts on left shoulder.
Equipment:
Masterwork Chainmail, Longsword, Crossbow, 8 bolts
Inventory: None.
Attributes: 3 STR/3 TGH/3 DEX/4 SWF/3 INT/4 MND
Perks:
Detached Mind,
Pragmatic FighterSkills:
Proficient Swordsmanship, Competent Melee Defense, Competent Marksmanship (Crossbow), Adequate First Aid, Adequate Taunting, Novice Investigator.
Spells: None. He's notoriously unmagical.
Apollo Anderson (Spinal_Taper)
Status: Moderate Pain.
Injuries: Rock firmly embedded in face. Bruised all over. A distinctive lack of eyebrows.
Equipment:
Reinforced lab coat,
Rudimentary RifleInventory: Bullets[10], Enchanted Bullets[3], Gunpowder, Ammo Mod, Firebomb x4
Attributes: 3 STR/3 TGH/4 DEX/3 SWF/4 INT/3 MND
Perks:
Scholar ,
InventorSkills: Skilled Alchemy [3/15], Competent Potion Brewing, Skilled Alchemic Magic (Rudimentary Enchantments), Adequate Marksmanship (Rifle), Adequate Metal Working.
Spells: Enchantment: Better wearability!, Piercing [?] Bullet Enchantments
Taren Creyn (Tiruin)
Status: Hilt Charge: 90% (Ice), 55% (Fire), 100% (Lightning). Weakened, somewhat hungry.
Injuries: Somewhat sick.
Equipment:
Broadsword, white cloak, grey tunic, belt,
solid holey leather bootsInventory: Cloth, Element Hilt.
Attributes: 4 STR/3 TGH/4 DEX/3 SWF/3 INT/3 MND
Perks:
Kind Soul,
UprightSkills: Skilled White Magic (Healing and Cleansing), Competent Anatomy, Skilled Swordsmanship, Competent Marksmanship
Spells:
Menscur, Fogili, Nonsens, Mendia,
Leonic Cleanse,
Vi Vanita,
Vento Aureo.
Remy Maelle (Remaelle)
Status: Normal.
Injuries: Minus five toes and right middle finger.
Equipment: Knife, traveling clothes, a backpack, Vintage pair of Chain Revolvers.
Inventory: Bedroll, rope, tinderbox, Gunchucks Guide Book w/ Leaflet, Remote Control Tape, Ornate Key x1, Plain Key x1, Trap Components x1, Bikini Armor x1.
Attributes: 3 STR/3 TGH/3 DEX/5 SWF/4 INT/2 MND
Perks:
Master of Overkill Presence of MindSkills: Proficient:
Shamanistic Magic (Elementalism), Competent: Hand-to-Hand Combat, Skilled: Marksmanship (Gunchucks).
Spells:
MEGA BRAND,
Perfect Freeze,
Flare Arrow Maka R'lyeh-Voile (IronyOwl)
Status: Normal.
Injuries: None (that she notices).
Equipment:
Magical golden scepter, Very Frilly Dress, Backpack
Inventory: Very Frilly Towel, 105 cp, Electro-Jelly-inna-cage (illoyal, remote-controlled servant, currently seated on Maka's head), Belt w/ pouches.
Attributes: 3 STR/2 TGH/3 DEX/4 SWF/5 INT/2 MND
Perks:
Voile Heritage Insanely Energetic Delightfully UnhingedSkills: Skilled Servant Creation, Competent Alchemic Magic (Augmentation), Competent Getting The Hell Outta Here, Skilled Black Magic (Curses).
Spells:
Psycho Shackles.