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[Errol]

((Today brah. Also, why not try it?))

[IronyOwl]

((Because we're going to die alone in this tower it'll probably take quite a while to get back. I totally would have if I'd thought of it while I had access to it. And some money. And something I knew I wanted to buy.))

[Yoink]

((How about a puppy? I think you should buy a puppy.
We have a distinct lack of any party pets. Well, discounting Hel's bear form.))

[Errol]

Well... turns out I don't have to kick Yoink. For once, turns getting delayed pays off. And I already typed out these sheets. So whatever, we're taking one newcomer. Best sheet wins. Effort may be required.

Spoiler: Sheet template (click to show/hide)

Name:
Appearance:
Personality:
Bio:
Attributes: (STR/TGH/DEX/SWF/INT/MND)
Skills:
Perks:
Items:

Spoiler: Explanations (ye're gonna need them) (click to show/hide)

First of all: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0ApSTExsgbLI3dDhPanNzcGRDc0pNTndPSVdSb2VHOFE&usp=sharing is a scary Google Doc, but also has all the system info you might ever need.

So, why should you make an effort to join this RtD? We've got pretty good players, who probably could be coaxed to roleplay if given a window of opportunity. We've got evolving characters (mostly to accomodate running gags). We've got a GM that might slip in schedule, but won't simply completely drop the RtD, who has experience in GMing and doing PCs, who can write pretty funny stuff and all that. There is an overarching plot, but it's bendy and more or less just a backdrop, there's quite a bit of freedom involved in how you approach every single situations.

So, please, weather the spreadsheets. They're only there to keep me sane.

Most details revealed about the setting so far (or: in which Errol likes to throw around Magibabble): http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=105791.msg4212124#msg4212124
If you want a recap - we're exploring a dungeon. There's some subplots, but that's it, more or less.

Now, onto character sheet specifics.

General character advice: Your character must have a reason to venture into a potentially dangerous, yet promising labyrinth. Any excuse works, though.

Attributes: Abbreviations stand for Strength, Toughness, Dexterity, Swiftness, Intelligence and Mind. For humans, they go on a scale of 0-6, where 0 is Absolutely Incapable and 6 is Pinnacle of Humanity. Let's create a small example chart to illustrate this point.

0 Toughness: Stephen Hawking
1 Toughness: Children, old men, fat nerds
2 Toughness: Average city-dwelling civilian
3 Toughness: Foot soldiers, city watch, street ruffians
4 Toughness: Farmers, Miners (it's backbreaking labor), Veteran Soldiers
5 Toughness: Heroes, Barbarians, Barbarian Heroes, Elite Soldiers
6 Toughness: Bruce Willis

6 in any stat is extremely rare (as is 0). You can go for it, but you have to explain it. There's perhaps 40 people with a natural 6 for Intelligence in the known world, for example.

The average human has 2 across the board, with one or two 3s. You have a total of 20 points to spend on attributes, which means the average character created here has 3s across the board with a few 4s. Adventurers are not quite your average human, after all. Do note that Attributes are fairly important and that dumpstatting something will come back to bite you in the rear end. You can do it - just remember that it's risky.

Skills: You have a total of 110 Experience Points to spend. Refer to the spreadsheet on how much experience needed for each skill rank. I know, the doc is scary, but you don't need to understand every single thing about it, and it's pretty good reference.
If you don't feel like reading it: In total you need the following amount of XP to raise a skill to a certain level: 5 for Novice, 12 for Adequate, 21 for Competent, 33 for Skilled, 48 for Proficient, 68 for Talented, 93 for Adept. Higher ranks don't matter with your starting skill points. So, for example, you could start with three skills at Skilled level and one at Adequate, or two skills at Skilled and two at Competent. Skill levels only have minor impact for each step, but they do add up and are not all that easy to raise.
Skilled is about the average level of someone who knows what he's doing in his skill, but isn't really exceptional at doing so.

Perks: You can select two perks. In terms of general perk power levels, refer to already existing perks, the GM may re-balance. You may also give up one Attribute Point for one additional perk, or gain another positive perk at the expense of adding a negative one as well. (5 Perks in total, maximally.) Perks are there to give your character mechanical flavor, so they're great to sharpen the direction of your character.

Equipment: As with the original characters, one magic item and the items that'd be reasonable for a character of your profession to carry. For example, Elenor Warsen's an impoverished nobleman knight, so he has a pretty well-made armor, a sword, crossbow plus ammo and a few other personal belongings. Some of these items are currently not in his possession, though.

[Errol]

Now, onwards to the actual turn.

Turn 34: Yo dawg, so I heard you like stat checks, so I put stat checks after stat checks so you can check your stats while you get your stats checked

Maka

Spoiler: Action (click to show/hide)

Wear jelly like a hat.

(3 - Slight Success) The jelly isn't fashionable. It periodically emits low voltage currents, making Maka's hair even more messed up. (No, Maka, static electricity in your hair is not fashionable, either.) It wibbles and wobbles and is really quite wet.

One could say, in the fashion of belt-wielding fathers everywhere on this world, that this hurts Maka more than it hurts the jelly.

Elenor

Spoiler: Action (click to show/hide)

Elenor waits for the rest of the team.

(Gain 3 XP in Investigation from last turn. Investigation skill level up! Is now Novice Investigator.)

(2 - Failure) It's really boring down here.

Remy

Spoiler: Action (click to show/hide)

Gather my equipment and join Elenor.

(6 - Overshot) Roger, then. Gather your, wink wink nudge nudge, equipment. And then help Apollo with gathering his

...crap. His equipment is longer than yours. W-well, it's about how you can use it, not the size of it, right? And also his was definitely super much cooler.

Apollo

Spoiler: Action (click to show/hide)

Pick up rifle, join the others.
Think. Do we know anything we could brew to make the water easier to go through? If so, keep that in mind for future reference. Also, gather some of that guano. For scientific purposes, of course.

(6 - Overshot) Apollo looks at the guano. He looks back at his rifle. Then back at the guano. Gunpowder. We have a water problem. GUNPOWDER.

Well, of course one could use dynamite to get rid of these problems. Or, really, some sort of powder bomb. Recipe's easy. Charcoal, saltpeter, sulfur and explodium, right? Every Alchemist worth his salt had some sulphur in one of his pockets, using it as perfume or method of identification. And saltpeter... well, he had fossilized bird crap. Finally, charcoal should be doable with some driftwood and a fire source.

Fire source.

Apollo peers over to Remy creepily.

It was time to do !!SCIENCE!!.

(Remy SCIENCE Roll: 5: Aww.)
(Apollo Invention Roll: 3: Nothing.)

A few precious minutes later, Apollo has one less set of eyebrows and one more stash of firebombs.

(3 XP gained in Alchemy.)

Obtained: Firebomb x4!

Taren

Spoiler: Action (click to show/hide)

Carry Komas and bring him along.
Let's go. Elenor leads, obviously. Carry Komas and bring him along.
Request Helskaya!

(4 - Partial Success) The ferryman not having gotten up yet worries Taren. Time to hoist him and pick him up... (LV.8 STR check! 4+2-8 = -2) Whew, he could try to lose some weight. Should be okay, though, as long as he doesn't have to carry him for too long. Oof. To the stairs. Aaand... oh, wait, Hel is approaching with the ass and, whoa, hey! Whatcha doing?!

Komas

Spoiler: Action (click to show/hide)

>Examine surroundings

>Demand explanation from companions

>Should no explanation be forthcoming in a satisfactory timeframe (i.e RIGHT BLOODY NOW), dole out a few whacks with Heinkel to cheer myself up obtain information.

(2 - Failure) Komas is as irate as a man slung over the shoulder of another and with a bear ass in his face can be. He, however, is also as confused as a man slung over the shoulder of another and with a bear ass in his face can be. As such, the irate tirade his brain tells his mouth to launch is interpreted by the mouth as an order to politely request getting put down. Taren, who is basically just relieved, obliges, only to see Helskaya advance, finger drawn.

Helskaya

Spoiler: Action (click to show/hide)

Take the bear ass and wave it under Komas' nose in the manner of smelling salts. See if it revives him.

Helskaya accepts the bear ass transfer and stows it in his inventory.

See if Taren will sniff the bear ass, and if so analyse the results using my considerable shamanic knowledge. If that fails to give a clear diagnosis, then focus all of my anxiety regarding the limited quantity of spirit-journey enabling materials I have into my magical shamanic finger and poke him firmly in the chest until he feels better.

(6 - Overshot)

Operation Bear Ass was a success. Komas did wake up pretty quickly. After smelling it yourself - just to test - Hel can certainly certify it is an effective method of waking someone up. The stench is spectacular, and not only because it had already aged some. It was stuffed, like a particularily weird hunting trophy, but whoever stuffed it didn't do a good job. No living bear had this succulent an...

Ahem. Kind of a shame to have lost this exemplar. Hel would have liked to ask the owner of this posterior out, to a romantic burning beehive dinner. But alas.

It was time to practice medicine. He snapped a stray gut over his operation hand.

"Tell me where it hurts."

Taren seems quite unwilling to tell him where it hurts.

"Please. This is for your own good."

Taren's eyes indicate that he cannot possibly see how this could be for his own good.

"Are you possessed by a foul spirit, perhaps?"

Taren's sigh tries to quietly hint that the only foul spirit possessing him goes by the name of common sense.

"--Then there is but one way."

Taren seems resigned to the fact that this one way is not just leaving the situation be, which suddenly seems like a rather attractive option.

"EN GARDE! I'LL GET THIS OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM, FRIEND!"

With one terribly long leap, Helskaya Arkut lunges at his unwilling patient, his finger burning with withdrawal symptoms. His other hand is at Taren's throat, then his jaw, wrenching open a mouth clamped tightly shut, to jam the shining shamanic-- Oh god.

(LV.8 TGH Check, Taren: 3+1+(2)-8 = -2 Minor Failure) HUARGLBLARGHBLUEEEEEERGHKOFFKOFFGRUAAAHRGgllbrlllgrHUARGHARFARG

"There! 'tis the spirit of foulness, now gone from your body."

And, after wiping the remainder of this 'spirit' from his mouth, Taren does feel somewhat better. And weakened. And hungry.

(2 XP gained in Herbal Medicine.)

--

Now then, did I mention that the stairs were slippery? They did not lose much of that property. Party-wide LV.7 SWF check to not slip.

Maka 4+(2)-7 = -1: Minor Failure
Hel 3+(1)-7 = -3: Major Failure
Taren 3+(6)-7 = 2: Flawless Success
Remy 5+(4)-7 = 2: Flawless Success
Apollo 3+(1)-7 = -3: Major Failure
Komas 2+(5)-7 = 0: Flawed Success

Maka is the first to skip down the stairs. About halfway down, she slips, sliding down the rest on her rear end. (LV.5 TGH check: 2+(6)-5=3 Flawless Success) While she technically got a sore arse from that, she doesn't mind at all, since she had far too much fun. She lands next to Elenor with a big, silly smile.
Right after her, the tangle of a scared Helskayabear and an even more scared Apollo hugging the bear tightly comes crashing down. (LV.8 TGH checks: 5+2-8=-1, 3+2-8=-3: +1 Pain, +2 Pain) Because Hel was a bear, he got through without too much trouble, and managed to stop before sliding down. Apollo had a bit of a harder time, since he was only a squishy human, but he is fine enough as well.
After them, Taren, Remy and Komas, approaching the stairs with more respect, manage to descend on their legs. And Helskaya managed to transform back after wrenching away Apollo still bearhugging him.

All that remains is one closed door. Elenor opens it.

((The numbers seem to work out pretty well. Get used to seeing a lot of LV.7 checks as a task of moderate difficulty, and anything above being serious problems.))

---

The room that, after an awkwardly long period of Elenor fiddling with the lock, opened up to the adventurers, revealing a grand room, as wide as the entire tower and so high that the adventurer's entrance door is a good deal above the ground, connected by one more set of stairs. The ground is littered with mountains of untold riches, with gold, gems and many other marvels, stacked so abundantly that they form a miniature hill landscape, inviting the intrepid adventurer to bathe in them. Several stained glass windows, some broken, some still intact and all as tall as the wall, let in the day's light, colored by the glass.

Oh, and there's a gigantic dragon with blue scales sleeping peacefully on the loot, taking up at a bit less than half of the room. A humanoid figure clad in a blue garment that looks suspiciously like a bathrobe lies snuggled next to him.

The group's entrance is located to the west of the room. There's a grand, closed portal on the other side of the room, and a huge gaping hole in the south side of the wall.

---

Character Sheets

Helskaya Arkut (lawastooshort)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Status: Some Pain.
Injuries: Scar on left leg. Slight indigestion.
Equipment: Northern white bear skin, weaponized magic bong, Northern white bear jawbone on necklace.
Inventory: Lesser healing potion x1, slice of magic x4, pestle and mortar, One Bear Ass
Attributes: 2 STR/3 TGH/4 DEX/3 SWF/4 INT/4 MND
Perks: Wild Hippie
Skills: Skilled Herbal Medicine [2/15], Skilled Shamanic Magic, Skilled Northern Loremaster, Competent Wilderness Survival
Spells: Shining Shamanic Healing Finger!, Transform: Raging North Bear, Summon Water Elemental

Elenor Warsen (Caellath)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Status: Some Pain.
Injuries: Several scarred cuts on left shoulder.
Equipment: Masterwork Chainmail, Longsword, Crossbow, 8 bolts
Inventory: None.
Attributes: 3 STR/3 TGH/3 DEX/4 SWF/3 INT/4 MND
Perks: Detached Mind, Pragmatic Fighter
Skills: Proficient Swordsmanship, Competent Melee Defense, Competent Marksmanship (Crossbow), Adequate First Aid, Adequate Taunting, Novice Investigator.
Spells: None. He's notoriously unmagical.

Apollo Anderson (Spinal_Taper)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Status: Moderate Pain.
Injuries: Rock firmly embedded in face. Bruised all over. A distinctive lack of eyebrows.
Equipment: Reinforced lab coat, Rudimentary Rifle
Inventory: Bullets[10], Enchanted Bullets[3], Gunpowder, Ammo Mod, Firebomb x4
Attributes: 3 STR/3 TGH/4 DEX/3 SWF/4 INT/3 MND
Perks: Scholar ,Inventor
Skills: Skilled Alchemy [3/15], Competent Potion Brewing, Skilled Alchemic Magic (Rudimentary Enchantments), Adequate Marksmanship (Rifle), Adequate Metal Working.
Spells: Enchantment: Better wearability!, Piercing [?] Bullet Enchantments

Taren Creyn (Tiruin)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Status: Hilt Charge: 90% (Ice), 55% (Fire), 100% (Lightning). Weakened, somewhat hungry.
Injuries: Somewhat sick.
Equipment: Broadsword, white cloak, grey tunic, belt, solid holey leather boots
Inventory: Cloth, Element Hilt.
Attributes: 4 STR/3 TGH/4 DEX/3 SWF/3 INT/3 MND
Perks: Kind Soul, Upright
Skills: Skilled White Magic (Healing and Cleansing), Competent Anatomy, Skilled Swordsmanship, Competent Marksmanship
Spells: Menscur, Fogili, Nonsens, Mendia, Leonic Cleanse, Vi Vanita, Vento Aureo.

Remy Maelle (Remaelle)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Status: Normal.
Injuries: Minus five toes and right middle finger.
Equipment: Knife, traveling clothes, a backpack, Vintage pair of Chain Revolvers.
Inventory: Bedroll, rope, tinderbox, Gunchucks Guide Book w/ Leaflet, Remote Control Tape, Ornate Key x1, Plain Key x1, Trap Components x1, Bikini Armor x1.
Attributes: 3 STR/3 TGH/3 DEX/5 SWF/4 INT/2 MND
Perks: Master of Overkill Presence of Mind
Skills: Proficient: Shamanistic Magic (Elementalism), Competent: Hand-to-Hand Combat, Skilled: Marksmanship (Gunchucks).
Spells: MEGA BRAND, Perfect Freeze, Flare Arrow

Maka R'lyeh-Voile (IronyOwl)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Status: Normal.
Injuries: None (that she notices).
Equipment: Magical golden scepter, Very Frilly Dress, Backpack
Inventory: Very Frilly Towel, 105 cp, Electro-Jelly-inna-cage (illoyal, remote-controlled servant, currently seated on Maka's head), Belt w/ pouches.
Attributes: 3 STR/2 TGH/3 DEX/4 SWF/5 INT/2 MND
Perks: Voile Heritage Insanely Energetic Delightfully Unhinged
Skills: Skilled Servant Creation, Competent Alchemic Magic (Augmentation), Competent Getting The Hell Outta Here, Skilled Black Magic (Curses).
Spells: Psycho Shackles.

[IronyOwl]

((I really shouldn't, but you all knew this could only end one way.))


"YAY!" Maka bellowed with unusual force, adding a "Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" as she dashed recklessly down the stairs.

"WAKE UP MISTER DRAGON WE'RE HERE TO TALK TO YOU WHY ARE YOU SO SHINY DID IT TAKE YOU A LONG TIME TO GET THIS MUCH LOOT?!" she continued upon reaching the bottom, being extra loud so the big dragon could hear her better.

Run at dragon, wake dragon.

[lawastooshort]

Helskaya sees the dragon, and that’s kind of where his mental thought train crashes to a squealing halt.

”Oh crap.”

Gripping his bong for comfort, he panic-changes into the cuddliest damn massive raging polar bear he can manage, and flees towards the gap to the south. Once there, he peeks round the hole in wall to observe. He starts to long for seal meat. He totally doesn’t know these guys.

Transform. Flee. Whimper.

[Remalle]

"Oh come on, even I knew that was a bad idea!"
Prepare for combat.

[Caellath]

Elenor's eyes shine momentarily when they rest upon what is presented before them. A dragon - killing one of those is one of the highest feats of strength and skill a knight could achieve; the materials harvested from its body enough to grant him a small fortune and the fame enough to give him a shot at a good employment contract and finally the acquisition of lands and even more riches. The title of destitute or rogue knight would be left behind him, a memory of times past.

And yet, he isn't willing to attack the beast.

"Eyes, nostrils, auricular orifices. Grab onto the head, hold onto ridges, protrusions and horns. Avoid mouth, pay attention to movements..." he mumbles quietly, enumerating possible weak spots and fighting tactics, though the knight has no intention to start a fight. First of all, he doesn't have his heirloom shield; secondly, fighting a dragon is a very dangerous experience; thirdly, and most important, they don't even know if the beast is aggressive.

Fourth reason and the one he's less likely to admit, the young knight has a begrudging respect for dragons in some aspects. His own family has already been surrounded by a bit of a mystique - hence his magic shield having a dragon image on it - and delusions of grandeur of a past involving the magical monsters mingling in with their lineage. He was, of course, fed this bullshit and didn't believe any of it, but some acknowledgement of the creatures' capabilities managed to sneak in. However, he's still very skeptic if dragons are capable of understanding true power or skill, having been born and growing as killing machines of immense size.

The rogue knight only snaps out of his reverie when he notices Maka running towards the scaly beast while hollering. In that single moment, one of Elenor's eyes twitches like he's about to have a stroke and he grits his teeth until it seems like they're about to crack. His usually undisturbed mind is shaken by the crackling thunder of a lightning's hot plasma searing through his nerves and hitting home. There's only silence afterwards and his brain seems to resume normal functioning after a few milliseconds. "No."

Stay near the door, prepare for combat, watch results, try to discern who is the person in a bathrobe from a distance.

[lawastooshort]

((If you want to tackle Maka I could apply the bear ass to her nose))

[Caellath]

((If you want to tackle Maka I could apply the bear ass to her nose))

((I've considered a tackle, but that'd probably go badly for either Elenor, Maka or both.))

[Yoink]

Komas just shook his head in disgust.
"Bah. Y'see, this be why adventurin' be such a fool idea. Y'go wanderin' around some dank bloody hole in th' ground, at th' mercy o' whate'er magical doohickeys yer 'allies' manage tae set off, and then 'course there's always a blasted dragon involved. There ain't even any good fishin' spots!"

He grumbled for a moment longer then nudged Elenor, jerking his weather-beaten head in the direction of the gap in the South wall.
"'Ey lad, what d'ye think o' the rest of us makin' a run fer that hole, while th' thing's busy eatin' the girl?"
He raised a bushy eyebrow, then added with some distaste, "...Or are ye one a' them 'heroes' I seem t'be so set on gettin' mixed up with at every opportunity?" He continued muttering, his scowl remaining in place as he watched Maka's progress across the room, but any important background points he may have revealed are rendered unintelligible by the accent. Oh well.


>Explain my... uh... 'cunning' plan, I guess.

>Gauge distance from here to that hole in the South wall. Could, say, a hypothetical coward-type-person hypothetically sprint the distance without stepping on any hypothetical angry dragons?

[Tiruin]

((There goes my common sense.

And I'm practically laughing from that humor xD))

Oh gods this man is heavy. Why, if I had something to aid him I would but my shoulders function perfectly for that.

Glad my lower back isn't hurt.

Taren looked at Elenor as Maka made with her happiness. He had a contemplative fire, seen as an intuitive mark in his eyes. "You're a master in combat. Let me try to handle this. Forgive the lass. Youth only happens once."

The man kept his weapon sheathed and his mind clear. This was pretty much a strange matter, given how a humanoid was with a dragon in this kind of area--they seemed to be lacking adequate water facilities for bathing judging by the clothing, anyway.

"Maka! Calm down. Ask nicely." he said in his best calm voice as he jogged up towards her, keeping his hands away from that sword.

Diplomacy the dragon if it wakes up. If it does wake up and regard us in a 'I kill u' manner, go ahead and explain the giddyness of Maka and our presence in this area.

Also expound on our origin and how we got here. And..and. Ask who that human is.

[Spinal_Taper]

Apollo stood up after his brief, if eventful, trip down the stairs. The rock was still in his face, he found himself bruised all over, but all in all, for all the times he had found himself on top of a tower in the middle of an ocean (once), he had found this to be going better than expected, and he was maybe even feeling a little optimistic. He had gotten some stuff done, he didn't have to haul around the bear ass anymore, and he had just fallen down stairs with nary a broken bone from it.Then Maka's voice cut through the air, as well as his good mood.
A dragon? What?
His eyes darted around the room. Within the space of seconds, he found it.
Oh. Uh oh.
If the pink harbinger of our doom is close enough to be grabbed and stopped, do so. If not, pray to The Lady, to Krom, to Mork, or to whatever divine eavesdropper/ security agent feels like listening.

[Tiruin]

Taren nudged Apollo before he ran off back a post ago.

"We can either sneak past through that hole or be caught by a wakened dragon. Maka has the gist of this situation-better to announce yourself when trespassing.

"And basically, I'm not even sure where we are in this place. Surely not in the dungeon anymore."